


Jeongguk on Ice

by TaekookPanda



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Bratty Min Yoongi | Suga, Grumpy Min Yoongi | Suga, Hobi is Protective, Jeongguk is Finding Himself, M/M, Mostly Soft Angst, Namjoon is the voice of reason, Pining, Shy Jeon Jungkook, Some angst, Taehyung is struggling, curse words, figure skating, self doubt, soobin is a cutie, switch POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 46,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22220197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaekookPanda/pseuds/TaekookPanda
Summary: Jeon Jungkook has idolized Kim Taehyung for as long as he can remember.  Don't even get him started on the massive, embarrassing crush he has on him.  Never in a million years did he expect he'd show up at his door offering to coach him.  Never in a million years did he expect that it could turn into so much more.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51





	1. Born to Make History

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I want to start this off by saying that this work combines two of my greatest loves - and that is BTS and Yuri on Ice. I knew when I started writing BTS fanfic that I wanted to give an adaptation/crossover with Yuri a go, and I'm going to admit I'm pretty nervous about sharing this. 
> 
> But. I've started telling myself that this year I'm going to put myself out there and stop letting the nerves get the best of me, so here we are. 
> 
> Each chapter that I release will encompass an episode of the series (and there's a possibility I will continue beyond the series when we get to that point, we shall see!) and while I wanted to do a great deal of justice to the show - I also wanted to put my own spin on things. 
> 
> You will see that I have kept the general thread of the timeline from the show, weaving the primary events of the episodes into the chapters that I've written but I've tried to interlace them with my own things as well. I'm confident that I've made it enough my own while also doing the show justice. 
> 
> I hope that you enjoy reading it, and enjoy going on this little journey with me! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading. I appreciate it from the very bottom of my heart, truly.
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/JbxTghY)  
> 

_He never fails to surprise me. Ever since I first saw his skating, it’s been an unending chain of surprises._

Sochi Grand Prix Final

“Despite all the rumors of his possible retirement floating around, Kim Taehyung seemed stronger and more determined than ever today! After going out and crushing both programs, he earned his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final victory.” 

The announcer’s voice rang through the stadium as the legendary skater bowed before the audience, all tight-lipped smiles and bright eyes. 

“Unfortunately things did not bode so well for Jeon Jeongguk. It was his first year in the Grand Prix and it seems maybe nerves got the best of him.” 

“He certainly wasn’t skating like his usual self when he landed himself in last place today!” 

The announcers talk over one another, debating on whether or not he should consider retiring and Jeongguk stared at the screen of his phone as he listened to them talk about his future in figure skating. 

“Jeongguk, don’t watch the news!” He heard his coach but it didn’t stop him from skimming the articles that were already posted, his brows creasing together in a frown. 

“Jeon fell to last place. Should this be his final season?” The words sounded wooden and painful falling from his lips. Once more Seijin called his name and he was thankful for the distraction as he finally peered up at him. 

It’s not like Jeongguk thinks he’s anything particularly special or exciting. There are a number of top men’s figure skaters and he’s just your average run of the mill, middle of the pack contender. Or maybe more like bottom of the pack after today. 

What did he expect? He’s twenty-three, fast approaching an age when he _should_ retire and leave the sport to the younger men that are more qualified and more talented. No matter how much he’d tried his whole life, he was never going to be like his idol Kim Taehyung. Maybe it was time he give up on that dream altogether and settle down for a more reasonable life and a more attainable dream. 

Frustration spears through him and he stands up with a huff, storming off down the hall as he grumbles to himself. He should have done better. He shouldn’t have let his nerves get the best of him. He’d moved away from home to pursue this dream, this stupid pipe dream. It’d been so long since he’d seen his family but he knew that going to the new training facility in Detroit was the right thing to do. Seijin was supposed to be one of the top coaches and he _was._ Without his help, Jeongguk would not have made it into his first Grand Prix Final and yet here he was in last place despite everything he’d given up and everything he worked for. 

The truth of the matter was the pressure had just become too much. He’d finally made it all the way here and then everything started to become real and scary. He started binge-eating, he started having bad dreams and waking up in cold sweats. 

And then a week before the competition his mother called to tell him their family dog died and it felt like the whole world spun but he stayed in one place. 

Ducking into the bathroom, he sought out a moment of silence and privacy behind a locked stall. And with a deep breath he called his parents, dread heavy in his heart. 

He can hear voices in the background and it surprises him because he thought maybe they would be asleep by now. 

“What?! A public viewing?” It feels like a fist of ice has wrapped around his heart, suddenly. 

Busan isn’t some big bustling city like Seoul so when one of their own ended up in the top rankings of figure skating, they made a _big deal_ out of it. Too big of a deal in Jeongguk’s opinion. Especially now when he knows many of the residents of the town had gathered at his parents hot springs hotel to watch him publicly humiliate himself all over national television. 

“Ugh, I’m so embarrassed!” He tries for brevity, offering a laugh over the phone. It fades quickly, though, with a quiver of his lips as his stomach sinks further and further down. 

“I’m sorry. I messed up,” he mutters through the phone as his eyes fill with tears. 

They must be so disappointed in him. It was supposed to be his big night and he’d flopped so hard there were literally news articles circulating about whether or not he should just retire. He hangs up the phone before he can hear his mother’s voice filtering through from the other side, unable to bear the thought of her disappointment ringing out loud and clear. Or maybe worse yet, her pity. 

In the silence of the bathroom, he lowers his face into his hands and weeps. Big, fat, hot tears splashing into his hands and down onto the floor below. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself, but he does feel sorry. Sorry that he let everyone down. So many people were rooting for him and counting on him and here he is just some washed up failure curled up in the bathroom crying about being a fai-

**_CRASH!_ **

Suddenly the door to his stall rattles with such intensity it startles him into a terrified gasp and he scrambles back on the toilet like the whole thing is just going to fly in on him. When it doesn’t, he reaches trembling fingers to unlock it and peek out at whatever monster is trying to get to him. 

The monster, as it turns out, is none other than the Junior Grand Prix Final gold medalist ….. Min Yoongi. He was only fifteen but he still managed to stand there and look ten times more terrifying than Jeongguk had ever been able to look in his whole life. He felt himself trembling as the younger boy stared him down with angry eyes, looking at him like he was a worthless piece of garbage. 

“You should just retire already, you incompetent fool,” the boy spits out angrily, mint hair hanging over his forehead from beneath the dark fabric of his hoodie. 

“I’m competing in the senior division next season, I’m way out of your league! Do us both a favor and leave before you embarrass yourself more, you _moron.”_

As the younger boy turned on his heel and stormed out of the bathroom he left behind a cloud of palpable rage and Jeongguk racked his brain trying to figure out what exactly it was he’d done to deserve such anger from someone he didn’t know in anything other than name. 

As he and Seijin were leaving the arena he was ambushed _again_ but this time it was by a newscaster. Instead of spewing more hate toward him, though, this one was telling him he shouldn’t give up and he shouldn’t retire and he just couldn’t find the energy in himself to argue one way or another. It’s not like he’d even made a decision. He hadn’t really made any decisions because he was too lost in a cloud of disappointment. 

He felt his gaze leaving the reporter and instead settling on the fluffy form of a dark brown and tan dog just outside the window, cuddled up in its owner’s arms. The dog looks so similar to his Gureum and there’s that icy fist around his heart again, squeezing so hard it feels like he could burst at any moment. 

_I’m so sorry, Gureum. Sorry I can’t go home. Sorry I wasn’t there._

He feels tears welling up in his eyes and for a minute feels like they might spill over and then he’ll be a blubbering mess right here in the lobby of the arena surrounded by reporters and other performers. 

“Jeongguk!” 

The sound of his name pulls his attention back to reality and he swivels his head around to find none other than Kim Taehyung walking by and for a split second he foolishly believes that the other man is talking to him. Imagine his surprise when he sees him striding by with Min Yoongi, giving him pointers on how to improve his performance. 

Oh, of course. _Yoongi,_ not Jeongguk. You idiot. How did you even get those messed up? They don’t even sound the same. Talk about wishful thinking, you dummy. 

The junior skater is pulling an unimpressed face, even as the teammates end up in front of their coach who immediately launches into a tirade that he seems hellbent on ignoring. Jeongguk doesn’t realize that he’s staring at Taehyung until the other man turns his head and gives him a phenomenal view of his profile. One blue eye peers out from beneath silver strands of hair and a single eyebrow raises before he turns his entire body to look at Jeongguk. 

_Shit shit shit shit._

Abort mission, Jeongguk, abort mission! 

His brain does all sorts of misfirings and he feels his cheeks flush with warmth as his idol looks him directly in the eyes. This is the very man he got into figure skating because of, the one person on the whole face of the planet who he absolutely did _not_ want to see him fail so miserably as he did today. Internally, he groans. Externally, he freezes on the spot like a deer caught in the headlights. 

God he looks so casual with one hand tucked into a pants pocket as he peers across at Jeongguk like they are familiar and chummy. The smile that breaks onto his face is sweet and genuine, his eyes turning into happy little crescents as it lights up his face. Jeongguk swears his whole heart leaps into his throat, trying to strangle him from the inside out, as he mentally goes over this scenario again and again in his head, trying to play out how it’s going to go. 

And then Kim Taehyung opens his mouth and in just a few simple words brings all of Jeongguk’s dreams to a screeching halt and for the second time in a week, it feels like the world spins and he stays in one place. 

“Commemorative photo?”

The words are like an arrow delivered straight from Taehyung’s mouth to Jeongguk’s heart and he knows his mouth pulls down at the corners with his sudden displeasure. _Of course_ the other man doesn’t know he’s his idol. _Of course_ he doesn’t know that he’s looked up to him for as long as he can remember. _Of course_ he doesn’t know that he has maybe, possibly, probably the biggest crush on him ever. But damn, he didn’t have to treat him like he was just some fan, either. It stings because maybe he just wanted his idol to notice him. To recognize him as one of the competitors. But why would he? Why would he notice someone who was so terribly normal when he had a fifteen year old mint-haired skating god beside him? Why would he notice someone so painfully mediocre when he himself was the literal definition of perfection?

Still, damn that hurt. 

With a huff, he turned around and stormed out of the arena with his head tucked down and his eyes on his shoes. He wanted to run far away from stupid skating competitions and stupid cute boys who didn’t even know his name. What an idiot he’d been for thinking he could even meet his idol on the same field. They weren’t on the same field, they weren’t even playing the same game. 

⛸⛸ 

It’s been five years since Jeongguk was home in Busan, a year since the disastrous events of the Grand Prix Final in Sochi. Part of him thinks that he should feel excited to finally be coming home - to see his parents and his sister, to spend some time at the hot springs hotel they ran. But there is still a nugget of dread sitting in the pit of his stomach. Try as he might all year, he could not get it to disappear. He felt like he’d let everyone down and the closer the train brought him to home the more the feeling grew. 

Busan looked different than he remembered it. Smaller, maybe. It was still home, though. He was not expecting to step off the train and find posters and banners of him hanging everywhere. Well-wishes and good-luck statements right there in his face and bringing back that familiar wave of dread that seemed to perpetually live in his stomach these days. A few people wandered by and he felt their eyes on him, watched someone duck their mouth behind a hand and whisper something to their companion as they bustled by. It made his face flush with embarrassment and despite the fact that he _did_ want to see his parents and his sister - he very seriously considered turning around and going back the way he came. 

“Jeongguk!” 

A familiar voice stopped him before he could run, though, and he looked around in a panic. He hadn’t expected anyone to meet him at the train station but sure enough there was his former dance teacher. 

Jung Hoseok held up a banner that had his name on it, his face plastered with the biggest sunshine smile as he waved one banner-holding hand. 

“Oh man, finally you’re back after five long years, eh?” 

“Hobi-hyung, what are you doing here?!” Despite his surprise, Jeongguk felt a warm sense of familiarity and thanks wash over him as he started to move toward the other man with his suitcase in tow. 

“Yah, stand up straight will you? I taught you better posture than that!” There’s no real bite to the dance teacher’s words, a sparkle in his eyes as he lowers the banner. 

_Of course_ Hobi-hyung would know he was coming back to Busan. He took great care in following everything that Jeongguk did - following news outlets and media coverage religiously so that he could keep track of his former pupil. He positively brimmed with pride at nearly everything that his former student did. 

Jeongguk automatically straightens himself out of habit at the command, though his shoulders hunch again almost immediately as everyone in the train station around them starts to recognize him. Many people in Busan supported and followed his career simply because he was from Busan and though he never said it out loud - it was an awful lot of pressure on the figure skater’s shoulders. He had a lot to live up to and it’s almost like the weight of their collective expectations physically bears down on his shoulders and keeps him from being able to stand up straight. He tries to curl in on himself, to hide his face and pretend that he doesn’t hear them. He has learned to make himself very small this past year because smaller things are harder to target. 

Wow, that was a bleak thought. 

Lately it was all bleak thoughts and dismal frowns, though. After the Grand Prix Final he’d bombed at the Nationals and then didn’t even qualify for Four Continents or the World Championships. Now the season is over and he’s back home because he managed to graduate college but he’d parted ways with Seijin and he felt like his future at this point was hazy at best. 

He trudges through the stall, letting his ticket run through the machine before it will let him through. On the other side Hoseok waited for him patiently, and an old man approached him almost immediately asking to shake his hand. When he recoiled and shook his head, refusing a handshake, Hobi was there ready to climb down his throat and boy did it feel like the old days all over again. 

“Excuse you, Jeon Jeongguk! You lose nothing by shaking the hand of a fan. _Kim Taehyung_ is nice to all of his fans!” 

Ouch, low blow pulling out his idol, hyung. 

Hobi forces his hand out and he robotically shakes and then he’s being drug out of the station and into the wintry atmosphere outside. He’s glad that he’s wearing a hoodie underneath his thick coat, a scarf pulled up around his neck. Still, his nose turns pink in the winter wind and his ears ache from the cold despite the fact that he has a beanie pulled down around his wavy black hair. Should have worn gloves, he thinks as Hobi pulls him along outside the station telling him about how he’s going to greet everyone in town, how his dance studio is closed for the day, how Busan is losing more and more people to the big city these days. How certainly Jeongguk being back is going to revitalize the town immediately. And suddenly that pit of dread is back in his stomach and it feels like it’s growing larger by the minute. 

The weight seems to settle back on his shoulders and he has to give his wrist a twist and a tug in Hoseok’s grasp to get his attention, digging his heels in to try and get them to stop. When his former dance teacher turns around, he’s got his head down to stares at his shoes instead of the other man. 

“I’m sorry, hyung, but I’m too tired for all that right now.” It’s not an outright light, but it’s not the whole truth, either. 

The truth of the matter is that he’s terrified to come face to face with everyone that he’s let down. It’s bad enough that Hobi is here, bad enough that he has to face his family, bad enough that so many people already saw him in the train station. He wants to curl so completely in on himself that he disappears entirely rather than deal with the entire town right now. Maybe ever. 

There’s doubt in Hobi’s eyes and in his voice as he questions Jeongguk, but he lets go of his hand and stops dragging him through the station at least. 

⛸⛸

The trek to his family’s home is quiet, with Hobi sitting in the taxi beside him and shooting him questioning glances that he refuses to acknowledge or answer. 

“Why are we going in the front entrance, hyung?” Hoseok ignores his question as he drags him in through the front door and makes the loud exclamation that they have arrived. Immediately his mother comes running and her smile is contagious. 

“Thank you so much for bringing him, Hoseok,” she exclaims just before barrelling straight into Jeongguk’s arms with a joyous laugh. He hugs her extra tight, burying his nose in her hair because the scent is familiar and grounds him to the here and now. He feels terrible for having been gone so long. He knew his mother missed him terribly and he hadn’t made any time to return home even on holidays. In his defense he’d been rather busy between school, training and competition but still...that was no real excuse, was it? 

As he unwraps his arms from around his mother, he feels Hobi’s eyes on him and is immediately self-conscious. “Jeongguk,” the dance teacher begins, eyes narrowing. 

“I noticed when I picked you up at the station that you look like you put on a ton of weight,” he says bluntly as Jeongguk’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“Yah, that’s not nice hyung!” Hobi does not give him a chance to deny or argue, though, immediately reaching to pull his jacket off to try and see if he’s actually gained weight of if it’s just the extra layers that he’s wearing. Despite batting at Hoseok’s hands and trying to dart away from him - he manages to get the jacket and the hoodie underneath off of him only to be met with a sweatshirt that rides up to reveal a stomach much pudgier than it was during competition season. 

Poking an accusing finger at the offending squishy tum, his brows knit together in a serious frown. “What have you been doing, drowning your sorrows in entire shops of ramen?! What kind of coach let you gain that sort of weight? How are you going to compete when you’re in such terrible shape?!” Each statement is said in increasing pitch and volume and finally Hobi’s hands come up to slap at his cheeks almost comically as he pretends to faint. 

“I don’t think I’m in _that_ bad of shape, hyung…” Jeongguk mumbles as he crosses his arms over his chest and presses his lips out into a sullen pout. 

“Round is not ideal shape for an athlete of your caliber, Jeon Jeongguk!” He feels like he’s being scolded and yet again just wants to curl into himself and disappear. 

His father appears then, cracking a joke about the fact that he’s always gained weight easily and now that he’s back home he’s sure to be indulging in some tasty pork cutlet bowls that won’t help his weight one little bit. This gets a rise out of Hobi again who starts scolding his father and honestly Jeongguk is thankful for the distraction because just then his mother reaches out to press a gentle hand to his elbow so that she can murmur something into his ear. 

“Gureum is waiting for you, go say hi,” she says so quietly that only he hears and he feels his eyes go damp. 

He leaves behind his parents and the sound of the patrons in the main room, leaves behind Hoseok who eventually turns and trudges into the main room to get a drink. Down the hall and to a room that fills with the sunlight from outside he finds the shrine for Gureum waiting. There he kneels on a pillow and looks at the picture of him and the dog. He remembers fondly the way the Pomeranian had filled his childhood with nothing but good memories and warm comfort, a constant companion at his side. Lighting the incense he lets the scent fill the room as he bows his head to hide the way that tears drip onto his bent knees. 

When his sister slips into the room and kneels next to him they are quiet for a long time, letting the silence stretch out between them as they both look at the pictures on the shrine. Eventually, Mari is the first to break the silence as she tips her head onto his shoulder and lets out a sigh. “I missed you, Jeongguk-ah,” she says affectionately. “Will you stay and help with the hot springs this time, or will you go back to skating?” 

He’s quiet for a long time as he considers, because if he’s being truthful with himself he hasn’t really made a decision. Part of him feels like he should just let it all go and he should just give up on the dream of skating. Stay and help his parents run their business, stay and do his duty as their son instead of chasing a dream that just embarrasses them time and again. But another part of him … another part of him can’t bear the thought. Skating is such a big part of him that he can’t imagine giving it up for good. 

“I’m not sure yet,” he answers her honestly and she gives her head a small nod as if that’s exactly what she expected he would say. 

“Well whatever you decide, I support you. You should go have a relaxing soak in the hot springs and rest.” A gentle kiss is pressed to the top of his head and her hand squeezes his shoulder and then she’s gone just as breezily as she came. Their relationship has always been this way. She is a few years his senior and has always been patient and quiet with him. It is a nice juxtaposition from the loud exuberance of his parents and Hobi-hyung. 

He takes her advice and settles in for a soak. The hot springs really are quite relaxing and they are the primary draw for tourists - though from what he understands there are far less of those around here these days than there used to be. Hobi thinks that if he just puts himself out there for skating again, he can bring in all kinds of tourists for the town and he doesn’t have the heart to tell his former teacher that he’s not sure he can perform under that kind of pressure. It is too much, too heavy of a burden to bear on his own. 

When he emerges from the hot springs feeling refreshed and rejuvenated he is not surprised to find Hobi getting ready to slap the remote to the television out of another patron’s hand as they attempt to turn the station. Figure skating was on and he was watching with rapt attention. That is … until the old man started talking about changing the channel to soccer instead. 

Taehyung was on the screen, the camera showing him practicing backstage. His eyes, a piercing blue beneath the long fringe of his silver hair, found the camera and he smiled a charming smile that made his eyes crinkle up into crescents just like they had when he’d smiled at Jeongguk a year ago. He feels his heart lurch up into his throat, a familiar dance of butterflies in his stomach. The argument Hobi was having fades away and for a minute it’s like Taehyung is looking straight through the television and into Jeongguk’s soul. The spell is broken when he winks one eye, first two fingers coming up to form a ‘V’ that he frames that winking eye with. 

All of a sudden the room feels too stifling and Jeongguk finds himself wanting to get out, get away, run somewhere else. He settles for donning all of his warm clothes again and grabbing his backpack before heading out. He passes his mother, explaining to her that he’s going training and then he’s running - actually running. The cold air pushes through his lungs and makes them burn as he makes his way to the skating rink, keeping a steady pace the whole way so that by the time he gets there he’s got to press his hands to his knees and take a long minute to catch his breath in great gasping gulps. 

Maybe he is more out of shape than he was willing to admit to Hobi hyung. 

Ice Castle Skating Rink is such a familiar sight, even after all these years, that moving up the steps feels like the most natural thing Jeongguk has ever done. He used to frequent the rink for hours on end, training and practicing and spending time with friends. As he pushes the doors open he can see that it looks like they’re already shutting down for the night and a wave of disappointment starts to wash over him. 

“Excuse me?” Maybe they’ll still let him skate, just this once. 

Coming face to face with Kim Seokjin comes as a surprise and Jeongguk feels for a minute like he’s back in highschool. Jin used to run the counter at the Ice Castle back then too, and they’d spent hours hanging out here together, skating and joking around. 

“Seokjin-hyung? You still work here?” Jin breaks into a wide smile and nods his head enthusiastically. 

“Weeeeell, actually I own the place now. Well, Namjoon-ah and I do.” There’s something about the way that he says Namjoon’s name that has Jeongguk’s eyebrows raising. It was no secret back in highschool that the two of them had _major_ crushes on one another. He cannot count the number of times he’d felt like the third wheel. The way that Jin’s eyes light up brings a smile to Jeongguk’s face though, and he leans across the counter to prop his chin up on his hand. 

“You and Namjoon-hyung, huh? Finally get him to marry you after all?” He can hear the smile in his own voice, and for a minute he feels like he did back in those high school days when the weight of expectations did not weigh his shoulders down. Back when his dreams seemed like the most attainable and reachable. 

“As a matter of fact, I did. And we adopted a pair of triplets that are cute as hell but such a _handful,_ ” the other man says with an affectionate chuckle. “Anyways, enough about me. I saw you at the Grand Prix Finals. Tough break, but you’ll get them next time, right?” 

And there it is again. He knows that Seokjin doesn’t mean it in a negative way, knows that he’s the last person that would make him feel like the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders but he can’t help but feel that way every single time the subject of his skating is brought up. Just once, he wants to skate again because he _wants_ to. Just once he wants to get back the joy that skating gave him to him in the early days when it wasn’t all competitions and races to the top. 

Back when a boy with silvery hair wore it long and floating around his shoulders, sometimes loosely tied. When his blue eyes seemed to peer straight into the television and right into Jeongguk’s soul even then. Back when things were lighter and dreams seemed like they were reachable instead of so far beyond his scope that he might as well be searching for the stars in the morning sky. 

Seokjin can see the change written on his face and offers him a small, encouraging smile as he reaches across to pat his hand. Though it’s been five years since they’ve seen each other, they still pick up like old friends who never lost contact. 

“Go ahead and skate. I’ll make sure nobody bothers you,” he says with a nod in the direction of the locker rooms. 

When they were younger he and Seokjin shared a lot of things - their love for skating and delicious food and especially an affection for that certain silver-haired skater who’d wormed his way into both their hearts. As time went on, Jin grew to admire the things that Taehyung did in skating but he never stopped encouraging Jeongguk to keep crushing on the super cute figure skater. It’s because of Jin that he learned that Taehyung had a fluffy brown Pomeranian. 

Not that he ended up with Gureum because he looked like Taehyung’s Yeontan or anything. 

Side by side he and Seokjin had learned parts of Taehyung’s skating routines, looking up to the skater that was winning junior awards left and right. Setting records with ease and stealing hearts with a glance. He was exactly the kind of role model that somebody like he and Seokjin would look up to, should look up to. And that’s all it was, right? Just a couple of kids looking up to their role model, crafting their dreams so that they could follow in his footsteps. 

It was totally normal to like your idol that much, right? 

Seokjin goes through the motions of locking the doors and dimming the lights while Jeongguk pulls his skates on, lacing them as he gets lost in his thoughts. It was here at Ice Castle that he’d first declared his dream to compete alongside Taehyung one day. That was all he ever wanted - his dreams never involved _beating_ Taehyung. Just competing alongside him. And there he’d been at the Grand Prix Final doing exactly that and everything had flopped so bad and here he was a year later still floundering over it instead of just letting it go. Maybe tonight he could finally let it go. 

“I’ve been practicing this since competitions ended,” he says quietly to Jin who is leaning against the wall of the rink just like old times. “I know that you’ll appreciate it more than pretty much anyone else.” 

Skating to the middle of the rink he took up his position as soon as he dipped his head and closed his eyes - Seokjin knew from the stance alone exactly what routine he was going to do. How could he not know? They’d practiced the moves over and over again as kids, trying to get them right. A knowing smile pulls at Jin’s lips because it comes as no surprise to him that Taehyung is still at the forefront of Jeongguk’s mind. Even if the boy on the ice in front of him seemed like the most oblivious person in the whole world. 

Just a boy appreciating his idol, indeed. 

The music starts and an operatic voice carries over the ice and propels Jeongguk forward. His movements are fluid and smooth, his arms rising and falling as his legs carry him over the ice. Curling his arms into his body, he pushes off the ice and jumps into the air, executing a clean quadruple lutz. Turn after graceful turn moves him across the ice in wide, sweeping moves and then there’s the quadruple flip, Taehyung’s signature move. Jeongguk has never even tried to land it in competition, but here in the rink that is illuminated only by the light of the moon filtering in through the large upper windows, he manages it with ease. His face conveys all of the emotions that he feels roiling inside of himself.

Seokjin feels his breath catch and uses a hand to cover his mouth so that he does not distract Jeongguk. There is such raw emotion written all over the skater’s face, his heart laid bare as he moves through the motions of a routine that drove every one of his dreams as a kid. 

This isn’t about perfecting the routine. It’s not about a perfect score or the best execution. It’s about a boy moving across the ice and feeling that exhilarating feeling again. He feels like a bird flying over the water when he’s on the ice like this. Like all of the expectations have disappeared from his shoulders and he is as light as a feather floating across the surface of the ice. He feels like his skates barely touch the surface, like with just the tiniest bit more effort he could fly far, far away. 

He feels free. 

It’s moments like this that make him remember why he fell in love with figure skating to begin with. Why he shaped and formed all of his dreams around this one singular hobby that became so much more - that became his life. Moments like this make him think about how difficult it would be to give this, his first love, up. How painful it would feel to give up a piece of your heart that way. Skating is so deeply embedded into him, ingrained into his very being, that moments like this make him wonder how he could possibly ever even consider not doing it anymore. There is no Jeon Jeongguk without figure skating, it was part of his very essence. 

As he launches into a flying sit spin he remembers the first time he watched Taehyung perform this routine, his long hair whipping around a face full of emotion. It was the most beautiful thing that he’d ever seen - it was the first time he’d ever spoken aloud to anyone (Seokjin) that he had a crush on Kim Taehyung. A quadruple salchow flows with the crescendo of the music and is followed by delicate, fancy footwork across the ice as the music climbs and climbs like Jeongguk’s heart up into his throat as he imagines Taehyung looking across the lobby at him a year ago. 

The final quad in the program is a quadruple toe loop followed by a triple toe loop and as Jeongguk performs them he tricks himself into thinking for a split second that he can feel Taehyung there performing alongside him, or maybe within himself. Which is silly because they’ve never even spoken. Maybe it’s the performance, the intensity of it - the emotion attached to it. It’s a sentimental piece that drags at his heartstrings and forces him to remember feelings that first surfaced in younger, teenage years and have gone untouched and unexplored all these years later. The music peaks up as he performs a combination spin to completion before stopping on a dime and folding his arms around himself in a perfect copy of Taehyung when he performs it. 

For a minute he’s lost in his thoughts, panting and flushed as he realizes what he’s just accomplished and what it made him _feel._ For the first time in a long time he feels free and he feels in love with skating again, even if just for a moment. 

The silence of the arena is broken with Jin’s excited yell. 

“Are you kidding me?! That was amazing, Jeongguk-ah! A perfect copy of Taehyung!” He’s clapping excitedly for Jeongguk when three heads appear over the barricade wall and he’s met face-to-face with the triplets who immediately launch into an excited tirade over how good the skate was. This makes Jeongguk blush and he almost covers his face with his hands except that Namjoon has snuck up behind him on the ice from the other direction and wraps an arm around his shoulders. 

“My girls are just the biggest fangirls for you, Jeongguk. And can you blame them with how cute these cheeks are?!” Namjoon reaches to squeeze one of his cheeks affectionately, winking at him playfully before skating off toward his husband and their children with a grin. 

⛸⛸

He’d stayed late into the night catching up with Namjoon and Seokjin, even waiting while they put their daughters to bed despite sleepy protests that they wanted to stay up and cuddle with Jeongguk Oppa. Still, that didn’t stop him from an early morning rise to start working out again - what better time to get back in shape than now, he supposed. 

A few nights later he’s settled in his room, surrounded by posters of Taehyung in varying stages of his life like he’s some kind of obsessed fanboy (he is) and trying to rebuild some of his confidence and determination. Now that he’s starting to learn to love skating again, he’s determined more than ever to be on the same ice as Taehyung again, to prove that he can do better than he did the last time they shared the arena. 

_Ping._

A notification comes over his phone and at first it just looks like a message from Namjoon or Seokjin but then he quickly realizes it’s actually a video notification. It’s … holy hell it’s him skating Taehyung’s program at the Ice Castle. He didn’t realize he was being recorded … doesn’t remember seeing Seokjin or Namjoon with a camera but … panic settles in the pit of his stomach because this has been shared for the whole world to see. 

_The triplets!_

Immortalized on the internet forever if a solid four minutes and forty-three seconds of him looking like the most pathetic fanboy out there. Imitating his idol like he’s sure tons of other people have done. He can see the number of shares and retweets the video is getting going up by the second and starts to tune out what Namjoon is saying over the phone. He can hear Jin scolding the children, can hear them crying their excuses out, but there’s a buzzing noise starting to settle in his ears. 

There’s that feeling again. Like the world is spinning fast around him but he stays still.

Dropping the phone, he falls back on his bed and pulls a pillow over his face to smother the scream that he lets out. This also serves to effectively block out the yelling of Hobi-hyung who has just burst into his room to start yelling at him about the now-viral video that he had absolutely nothing to do with! Maybe it’s the exhaustion of working out, maybe it’s the shock of something so deeply personal being shared across the internet without his permission - maybe it’s a combination of both. Whatever the cause, the edges of his vision start to go fuzzy and dark and he doesn’t bother fighting it, letting his limbs relax into the sharp pull of sleep because sleeping right now seems like a better option than considering that maybe, just maybe, Taehyung will see the video for the pathetic bit of fanboying it is. 

⛸⛸ 

Little did he know that in Japan there was a silver-haired boy spread across his couch with a fluffy brown Pomeranian curled up in his lap and one long-fingered hand wrapped around his cellphone. 

Watching. 

Bright blue eyes follow every move that Jeongguk makes, track every jump that he lands and every turn that he executes. A look of intrigue crosses Taehyung’s face as he watches Jeongguk perform _his_ routine. It’s not perfect, but it is the closest that he’s seen in a long time. Little does Jeongguk know that Taehyung doesn’t see just another fanboy when he performs. He sees someone who has studied and learned the moves, yes. But he also sees someone that _feels_ them. Someone that embodies every sweep of the arm and every glide of feet over the ice. 

And maybe he feels a little something he can’t put his finger on yet. 

⛸⛸

The next morning dawns and the sound of his mother’s voice breaks the silence of Jeongguk’s room and he sleepily rubs at his eyes as he rolls over. She’s telling him to get up and help shovel snow and after a few bleary-eyed glances around he opens his blinds to find that there is indeed snow on the ground in the middle of April. For a minute he forgets about the video being uploaded, forgets about his worries from the night before. He bustles around his room and gathers his outer layers before slipping from his room and down the hall. With shovel in hand he opens the back door and finds …. Gureum?! 

The little dog comes running at with him so much excitement, though, that it’s clear it’s not Gureum. He’d always been a relatively laid-back pup and this little cotton ball on legs is far more energetic. He runs circles around Jeongguk’s legs and barks until the boy leans down to give him attention and there is something very, very familiar about this brown and tan pup. 

No, no it couldn’t possibly be right?

“Doesn’t he look just like Gureum, Jeongguk?” His father walks up beside him smiling a squinty-eyed smile as he reaches to pet the dog. “He came with an attractive foreign guest. He’s in the hot springs right now. 

And just like that Jeongguk feels his heart leap straight up into his throat because it can’t possibly be! 

He shoots off down the hallway, his heart pounding so hard he thinks it might explode. There’s no way that Kim Taehyung is here. No way that he’s spending time in his family’s hot springs. Absolutely, one hundred percent no way. He can’t be. Because if he is - what in the hell is Jeongguk going to do with himself?! 

Racing through the halls he runs into tables and knocks over knick-knacks without a care until he’s pushing out into the outdoor hot springs and his mouth drops open at the sight before him. There is Taehyung, in the hot springs, looking as comfortable and at ease as can be. 

Holy hell. Holy effing hell Kim Taehyung is here. Why? Why is he here?! 

As Jeongguk stands there gaping at him like some kind of idiot unsure what to do his head fills up with panicked thoughts and his eyes get so wide it’s almost comical. 

“T-Taehyung what are you doing here?” If he sounds shocked, could anybody really blame him? Here was his idol just hanging out in his family’s hot springs like he was here all the time just soaking up the warmth. Nevermind that he’s hardly said two words to Jeongguk prior to this. Nevermind that they don’t even move in the same circles in the figure skating world. Nevermind that his bedroom walls are plastered with posters of the man sitting shirtless in front of him. 

O-oh...oh boy he probably shouldn’t be focusing on that right now. If his cheeks are flushed it’s because of the heat of the hot springs, right? 

If Jeongguk thought that his panic couldn’t possibly reach a higher level he clearly was no probably prepared for Taehyung standing up wearing … _absolutely nothing._ There is no shame on his face, the flush across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose clearly from the warmth of the hot springs. 

The color in Jeongguk’s cheeks, on the other hand, have absolutely nothing to do with how hot the springs are and instead have a lot more to do with how hot the man _standing_ in the springs is. A bubble of panic lodges into his stomach and he works hard to avert his eyes, looking anywhere - absolutely anywhere - except for at Taehyung’s very, very naked body.

Taehyung reaches out an elegant hand as if reaching for Jeongguk, completely unabashed in his nakedness as he offers his palm and a smile that is so warm it rivals the heat coming off the water. 

“Jeongguk-ah, starting today I’m going to be your coach. It’s my goal to make you win the Grand Prix Final,” he says with finality. That’s it. No question, no request. Not really a demand. Just a statement. I’m your coach, and that’s that. 

The whole world spins so rapid fast around him he feels like he’s going to fall over. But still, he stays still.

Jeongguk is taken aback for a moment, blinking as he tries to convince himself that it’s a dream. It’s just a dream. He’s still curled up in his bed and his brain has tricked him into believing that he’s awake when he is not. 

Except that Taehyung winks at him and Jeongguk feels a tug in his heart at the same time that a wave of heat pools in the pit of his stomach. His mouth goes dry and his eyes widen and it feels like the edges of his vision are starting to go dark again. Do not pass out, Jeongguk. That is not the right way to make an impression on your all time biggest crush ever. Er, only crush? Whatever. Just don’t faint. 

He doesn’t faint. Instead he just lets out a startled yell as if that will wake him from this thing that is surely a dream. He had to have dreamed Taehyung here - there’s no other logical explanation for what he’s doing here. There’s no reasonable explanation for him suddenly deciding that he wants to be Jeongguk’s coach. He didn’t even know his name last year, didn’t even know he was a fellow skater - thought that he was just some _fan._ This has got to be some kind of elaborate joke that his mind is playing on him right? 

Right? 

Except this wasn’t a dream and he wasn’t imagining it. Kim Taehyung was really here in his home. He was really here telling him he was going to be his coach for the next season and Jeongguk …. Jeongguk did not know how to comprehend this information. Maybe his brain turned to mush the minute that Taehyung stood up completely naked. Maybe he was no longer able to form coherent thoughts because there was a body sculpted from marble just casually standing there in front of him like it was the most normal and usual thing. 

“What?! Why?!” He cannot fathom what Taehyung would have to gain from this. How could he possibly focus on his own season if he was busy coaching him? And what would people say? Kim Taehyung, genius skater, taking useless loser Jeon Jeongguk beneath his wing. He could see the pity headlines now. 

He _seemed_ serious and Jeongguk wasn’t sure how to take it. Wasn’t sure how to take all of this. Taehyung was just full of surprises, it seemed. 

_He was a genius who never failed to surprise me._


	2. Tasty Pork Cutlet Bowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jeongguk's idol shows up at his family's business out of the blue, promising to train him, he is flabbergasted. What could Kim Taehyung possibly want with a skater that came in last place in last years Grand Prix Finals? Once Jeongguk seems to get over his initial shock, it seems that Taehyung is hellbent on flustering him at every single turn. Will Jeongguk acknowledge his own feelings? Will Taehyung be able to ease the self-doubt that has wrapped itself around Jeongguk? 
> 
> Better question - when Min Yoongi finally finds out where Taehyung is, how long will it take before he's trying to drag his ass back to Japan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! If you're back for this second chapter installment please let me start by saying thank you so much for sticking around to read more! 
> 
> This project has truly been bringing me such joy and I hope that it is bringing joy to some of you as well. 
> 
> In this chapter you will find a lot of Bratty Yoongi (he's honestly adorable, I can't with him), as well as a determined Jeongguk who tries to fight his self-doubt and give it his all. This chapter ended up being the longest that I've written yet for this story. 
> 
> Where the first chapter sort of set the stage for the three main characters, I feel like this one sets the stage for the obvious main ship. I had a lot of fun writing it, so please enjoy. <3
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/1CpUvVC)

“Taehyung, what are you doing? Don’t go, this is stupid.” Si-hyuk narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at the skater. 

He didn’t really _aim_ for intimidating - that was just the general aura around him. No matter how much he was upset inside at seeing Taehyung go, he was not a man to stoop to begging. No, he was far more likely to let loose cutting words than gentle insistences. 

“Thank you so much for everything you did for me, Si-hyuk,” Taehyung starts, running long fingers through silvery locks. “Honestly, you were the best coach I ever had and I won’t forget how you helped me. But…” He lets out a long breath, his shoulders shrugging and his hands going palm up when he can’t quite put into words _why_ he has to go.

For a moment Si-hyuk thinks he might cave, thinks he might let just the tiniest smidge of emotion show as Tae approaches to give him a hug and a quick peck on the cheek in thanks. He feels himself soften a little internally, like he might return the hug and give the man in front of him well wishes. 

Alas, it’s nothing but gruff grumbles and angry scowls as he watches Taehyung board the plane to Korea. 

⛸⛸

Jeongguk sits dumbfounded, legs folded beneath him and hands on his thighs. Kim Taehyung is stretched out sound asleep, wearing one of the robes from the hot springs inn and it does not seem inclined to stay closed. Too much of his chest is on display, golden-toned skin short-circuiting Jeongguk’s mind and making him just … stare. The little cotton ball on legs, Yeontan, is stretched out along Taehyung’s side, head resting on his shoulder and tongue lolling out of his mouth. They both look so peaceful and relaxed and Jeongguk remembers briefly what it’s like on the competition circuit. 

The constant training, the nagging schedule. The coaches that want you to be up at this time, at the arena by this time. Hours late into the night spent practicing routines and perfecting them, tweaking them. Going over footage to see where he messed up, how he could fix it, what he did wrong and how he could make sure to not repeat the same mistakes. Add to that the travel from event to event, how many days and nights he’d spent on planes and in airports and away from a comfortable bed. It must be ten times as difficult for Taehyung because no matter where he went he was swarmed by reporters and fans, cameras and microphones constantly shoved into his face. He seemed to handle it all with a smile, seemed on the outside like it didn’t bother him at all. Like he was the most relaxed and at ease all the time. 

Jeongguk knew as a fellow figure skater, though, how exhausting it all was. And the fact that Taehyung is here passed out on his floor looking so comfortable just proves that point. 

When his mother and Hobi peek around the corner to give their attention to the sleeping figure skater Jeongguk suddenly feels an urge to scramble to cover him up. Protect his privacy. Despite how badly his hands are trembling when he does so, he still reaches across and gently pulls the fabric closed. He’s glad that his thoughts are not obvious to everyone around him because what passes through his mind when the back of his fingers brush against Taehyung’s chest are not thoughts that he would want his mother or Hobi hearing. Or anyone, really. Nobody, ever. Nope. 

Nevermind that little zap of electricity that makes him recoil his fingers almost immediately while also seeming to call his hand closer again. He’s left with his hand hovering just over the edge of the robe where he’d pulled the two pieces together, his cheeks hot and red and his eyes absolutely and positively anywhere _but_ any part of Taehyung. 

“What are you doing here?! Get out!” He hisses it at Hobi, trying to keep his voice down. 

There must be some bite to his words because Hobi raises both eyebrows as he crosses his arms over his chest, as if giving Jeongguk a minute to backtrack and reevaluate his words _and_ his tone. The dance instructor narrows his eyes a little as if to intimidate the figure skater into changing his tune and maybe normally he would have. That tactic had worked a million times before on the other boy. This time, though, there’s something serious in Jeongguk’s eyes and Hoseok sees it, watches as his expression flickers from him to Taehyung and back again, narrowing slightly in defiance. 

A challenge. 

With an exasperated sigh he unfolds his arms and puts his hands up palms first, keeping his voice quiet in answer. 

“Don’t you know how big this news is right now? Japan is going crazy trying to figure out what is going on and you’re just here casually watching him _sleep_ on the floor of your parent’s Inn like it’s completely natural and usual?” And if there’s a hint of exasperation in his tone, could anyone really blame him? These sorts of things do not just _happen_ to anyone. 

Taehyung shifts in his sleep and rolls over, leaving Jeongguk to draw his hand back to rest on his legs as the other skater curls himself around Yeontan and lets out a contented sound. 

O-oh, that’s too cute. 

Jeongguk feels his cheeks flush warm again, immediately thankful that Hobi is too focused on continuing with his tirade about Taehyung to notice. 

“They say that he’s taking the next season off while he figures out his next move. They _also_ say that when he saw the video of you skating his routine he was struck with inspiration and that’s why he chose to become your coach.” 

Oh no, now Hobi’s attention is coming back around to him and Jeongguk is scrambling to even his breathing and look as normal as possible. 

“Taehyung came here because he chose you, Jeongguk. How incredible that he came here because of _you!_ ” 

Jeongguk’s eyes go wide and his mouth drops open and he just stares at Hobi for a minute as if the dance instructor has sprouted antlers or a third eye or something. Taehyung makes a sound in his sleep, though, and that draws his eyes toward the other skater and something in his heart squeezes tight. 

He came here because of him? He saw him skating and was struck with inspiration?

What kind of dream was this, exactly? What kind of fantasy had he dropped himself into? That’s the only logical explanation here - the only thing that makes sense to his brain. That’s the only way he can wrap his mind around the idea that Kim Taehyung, legendary skater and his all time idol (and crush, of course) came here because of _him._ His cheeks flush warm again and maybe his bottom lip trembles some and maybe there’s a dampness in his eyes that he tries to rapidly blink away because … because if this is actually a dream, does he really want to wake up from it? Does he want the reality back or would he rather keep the fantasy?

He gets that familiar feeling again, like everything is spinning around him at breakneck speed and he stays still. This time, though, as if trapped in the bubble of stillness with him, Taehyung remains still and unmoving as well. Huh. 

As he watches Taehyung nuzzle his nose into Yeontan’s fur and his heart lurches in his chest again, he knows. 

Definitely the fantasy. 

⛸⛸

Back in Japan Min Yoongi sits staring at his phone with indignation. He’s supposed to be practicing but instead he’s glued to his screen like some kind of run of the mill teenager - which is the farthest from what he actually is - reading article after article that just notch his anger up and up. 

“Taehyung went to Korea to become Jeon Jeongguk’s coach?!” 

His hands shake as he growls at nobody in particular, mint hair falling in his face as the screen in front of him starts to blur. He wants to rage, wants to start throwing things starting with this stupid delicate-screened thing in his gloved hand. How dare he? How dare he leave when he was supposed to be here and part of their team? Did he forget the promise he’d made to Yoongi? What was so special about that fat idiot anyways? He came in last place in the Grand Prix Finals last year, there was nothing special about him. Even the stupid video he’d put up of him doing Taehyung’s routine was lackluster and mediocre and _reeked_ of unbearable fanboy behavior. 

The edges of Yoongi’s vision start to darken and he snarls as he clicks the phone closed and slams it down on the bend beside him, the perfect picture of teenage sulking as he flops backwards and throws a hand over his face. The sulking doesn’t last long, though because soon he is up and storming through the arena looking for Si-hyuk so he can demand further explanation. Surely their coach will have a better answer, one that doesn’t sound so unbelievable. No way would Taehyung give up his legendary career - or the ability to help mold Yoongi into the skater he knew he could become - to go train that … that … _idiot._

⛸⛸

Taehyung wakes up with the teeniest, tiniest little sneeze that Jeongguk has ever heard and boy if that isn’t endearing and adorable. He sits up with Yeontan in his arms, rubbing his face against the fluffy dog’s back. Jeongguk and Hobi have been sitting and watching him sleep in silence mostly because Kook had threatened to kick Hobi out if he didn’t stay quiet to let the other figure skater sleep. 

When Taehyung sits up with silvery hair messed around his face and sleep in his eyes, his robe slips off one shoulder and he peers toward Jeongguk to sleepily mumble a single word at them. 

“Hungry.” 

Immediately Jeongguk’s brain kicks into overdrive and he’s scrambling to try and get up so that he can get something for Taehyung to eat. That’s it. He’s not trying to get away from the splash of golden skin revealed with the slip of the robe. Nope, he’s definitely not trying to pointedly look anywhere, _everywhere_ but at Taehyung sitting there sleepily looking like a whole treat. That is absolutely not where his mind has gone. 

“Uhh...what do you want to eat?” He can hear how squeaky his voice sounds and inwardly curses himself as he clears his throat, trying to pass it off as just not having really spoken the whole time Taehyung was sleeping. 

He takes a small breath as if to gather himself and then shifts his gaze to Taehyung’s face and it feels like the room spins around him. He has to reach a hand to steady himself against the floor because yeah, the full weight of that blue gaze on him is suddenly a lot to handle. Is it hot in here? It’s definitely hot in here. Maybe what he needed was a nice cold dip in the snow outside. That would cool things right off! Taehyung says something and he has to force himself to focus, to hear the words coming out of his mouth. Oh, he wants to try something that Jeongguk likes to eat. Oh, that’s easy. He knows exactly what to bring him. And if he thinks it’s a little endearing and a lot adorable that Taehung wants to get to know him by trying one of his favorite foods?

Well he doesn’t have to say that out loud, does he? 

There is something a little intimate about sharing your favorite anything with your crush, isn’t there? Letting them know a little piece of you that they didn’t before. Taehyung doesn’t exactly know that he’s Jeongguk’s crush, strictly speaking, but the knowledge simmered in the back of Kookie’s mind and had his cheeks flushing with warmth as he delivered the pork cutlet bowl, his favorite thing to eat. 

Taehyung’s eyes widen a little at first and then his mouth drops open before he declares that it looks _amazing_ and he’s instantly diving in. Jeongguk watches with bated breath as he takes his first bite and then lets out that same breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Taehyung’s eyes turn to happy little crescents as he smiles big around the food. When he reaches out to flick the tips of his fingers affectionately against the underside of Jeongguk’s chin before giving him a thumbs up, Kook thinks his brain might short-circuit from that tiny, electric touch. 

“Oh my gosh, this is so good Jeonggukie!” The new nickname slips easily off of Taehyung’s tongue around the hurried bites of food that he’s taking. Each time he chews he pouts his lips and it’s the cutest thing Jeongguk’s ever seen and he’s lost in that train of thought when Hobi elbows him hard from his seat next to him. 

With a cough he comes back to his senses, his cheeks flush and warm as he peers down at his hands instead of the cute figure skater across from him. “I’m glad you like it,” he mumbles, keeping his voice low so that hopefully it does not betray his thoughts. 

Thankfully Hobi interjects, jabbing at him again with an elbow. “Jeongguk-ah loves the pork cutlet bowls so much, but he gains weight so easily that he used to be limited to only having one if he won.” Ok, this was not the interjection that he wanted. He feels his ears turn hot and he ducks his head as he groans internally at what Hoseok has just revealed. He turns his head and attempts to shoot daggers at the dance instructor with his eyes, trying to curl in on himself as if to hide the current soft state of his stomach. 

It is to no avail, though, because Taehyung has already taken note and he pins Jeongguk with a knowing look. “You’ll need to get back in shape if I am to coach you,” he says smoothly, setting aside his now-empty bowl with chopsticks perched atop it neatly. “No more pork cutlet bowls for you until you’re back to at least the state you were in at last year’s Grand Prix Finals.” 

His statement sounds serious, his eyes only slightly narrowed as he peers at Jeongguk across the table. He feels like he should be insulted - round _is_ a shape, thank you very much - but instead he feels well and truly chastised and admonished. And embarrassed. So, so embarrassed. Like, he could dig a hole and climb into that hole and cover himself up with the dirt never to be seen again embarrassed. 

Just then his sister’s voice cuts through his thoughts and he is thankful for it. For the brief respite to the thoughts rattling around in his head. She’s grumbling something about luggage being in the way, about how _inconvenient_ it is and for once he welcomes her grumbles and bemoaning. It gives him something else to focus on and he immediately jumps up so that he can scramble off to gather Taehyung’s luggage and move it into the room that he’ll be staying. 

It’s probably a lot smaller than he’s used to, Jeongguk can imagine. But if he wanted something bigger, Busan isn’t really the place for that. He still can’t believe Taehyung is insisting on staying _here._ In Busan, in the Inn, so close by at any given time that Jeongguk isn’t sure that he’ll be able to ever fully relax or let his guard down. As each box is moved into the room he hears Taehyung’s comments about how the room is classically small and adorable, different from the other rooms that he usually stays in. He sees Yeontan sniffing and scratching at everything, full of curiosity. As he sets that last box down, he crouches down on his legs in a position similar to the one he’d taken up while watching Taehyung sleep. 

“There, that’s the last of them,” he says a little breathlessly. Taehyung had made him carry in all the boxes himself. The start of his training, he’d said. ‘Round is a shape, Jeonggukie,’ he’d said patiently. ‘It is simply not one acceptable for athletes of our calibur.’ Jeongguk’s head was still reeling from that, if he’s being honest with himself. To be compared to Taehyung’s calibur of athlete even just for a small second is big, really big. Maybe not to Taehyung, but definitely to him - just your run of the mill average (probably well below average these days) male figure skater. 

“I…” His eyes lower to the ground and he stares at the carpeting beneath him because it’s easier than looking up into Taehyung’s face. His too-pretty features throw Jeongguk all kinds of off-kilter. 

“I-I’m so…” The words catch in his throat because how do you tell someone that you’ve looked up to for as long as you can remember that you’re so damned thankful for them taking you under their wing? Especially when you don’t think you deserve it, especially when you’re sure that’s far more worthy people out there that they could be working with instead. 

Of all the people in the world, Taehyung chose Jeongguk and it feels heavy in his stomach but it makes his heart feel light and weird and he doesn’t know what to do with it. It glues his tongue to the roof of his mouth, makes words impossible so he just sits there a sputtering mess in front of Taehyung hoping that he understands at least a little.

Taehyung watches Yeontan for a minute, though out of the corner of his eye Jeongguk swears that he can see the slightly older man before him glancing his way too, as if observing him. He’s slipped a pair of comfortable pajama pants on underneath the robe and he stands there watching as he taps his chin with a finger. Finally, he kneels down on one knee right in front of Jeongguk and pushes into his personal space. He distracts him with words, befuddling his mind easily. 

“I want to know everything about you, Kookie,” he says in a voice that is quiet and low. Jeongguk barely has time to register the question in Taehyung’s eyes before the other man is reaching his hand out to lightly graze below Kook’s chin with just the tips of his fingers, angling his head to force dark eyes up to meet blue. He crowds so close into Jeongguk’s space that all he can think and feel and see and smell is Taehyung. Only Taehyung. 

The smooth golden complexion, the strawberry scent that lingers heavy on the air probably from whatever soap or shampoo the other man uses. His fingers are so soft beneath Jeongguk’s chin and his other hand is on his shoulder sliding and sliding down until he can run them over the back of Jeongguk’s hand, featherlight. 

Electricity. 

Everywhere that Taehyung touches him is like tiny jolts of electricity. It causes his brain to stutter and stumble and flounder. He feels like he’s been pushed off the top of a very tall building and he’s falling down and down with nowhere to grab and nothing safe to catch him. His eyes dart to the plane of Taehyung’s exposed chest and then up to the column of his neck and then across the fullness of his lips lingering so close. He’s leaning so close into Jeongguk that it’s impossible to not notice the way that even his lips seem to smell vaguely of strawberries and lemons, fresh summer scents tickling Jeongguk’s nose. They are so close that he can see the way that the stars seem to shine from the blue of Taehyung’s eyes, lighting up his whole face. 

There are words that he’s saying, words that Jeongguk simply cannot comprehend. He feels his cheeks warm, knows they’re hot to the touch and so pink. The blush travels hot all the way to the tips of his ears and down the length of his neck, warming every bit of him as Taehyung leans closer, and closer until there is just barely a breath between them. 

This isn’t normal coach and skater behavior. This isn’t how Seijin behaved with him, or any of his coaches before then. Is Taehyung just messing with him? Does he see the stupid, overwhelming, ridiculous crush that Jeongguk has on him and he’s just messing with him? He can feel Taehyung’s breath fan over his lips and it takes all of his self control to not just close that tiny little gap between them. 

“Is there a girl you like? Tell me, Kookie.” The words are whispered and Jeongguk’s fuzzy brain takes a long moment to process them but when he does it makes his brows furrow in confusion. A girl? Of course there’s not a girl. There is only Taehyung. 

Taehyung up on his bedroom walls. 

Taehyung in his dreams. 

Taehyung with his fingers tucked beneath Jeongguk’s chin and his lips so close he can practically _taste_ them. 

Taehyung. 

Taehyung. 

Taehyung. 

The world spins, the room spins, everything about him spins out of control just like his thoughts. But he and Taehyung seem to stay perfectly still - like everything else is stable but they are grounded in each other.

The name repeats in his head like a litany until he releases a shaky breath that sounds so needy and so desperate and so shameless that instantly he regrets it. Instantly his eyes widen and he scrambles back and away from Taehyung _so fast_ that he hits hits the wall behind him with a thud. 

Talk about a serious case of _gay panic_ there Jeongguk! 

He presses against the wall for stability, his hands fisting on the carpet next to his hips, dragging his breath in great big gulps as if he’s just run a marathon. Something tugs at him to get closer to Taehyung again, inhale a big gulp of strawberry and lemon-scented air, tuck his fingers into silvery hair, close the space between two sets of lips…..son of a bitch _stop that_ Jeongguk! 

He internally scolds himself as he shifts against the wall, trying to catch his breath as he steals glances at Taehyung who wears a confused expression. He still kneels on the floor right where Jeongguk left him, Yeontan wagging his cute little tail next to him as he tilts his furry little head as if to echo the question in Taehyung’s eyes. 

“Did I do something wrong? You’re so far away.” Taehyung’s lips press into a little pout, bottom lip pushing out as his eyes go big and round and Jeongguk almost folds right then and there. 

Yes. Maybe. No. 

The answer lingers on the tip of his tongue. The truth of the matter is that Taehyung didn’t do anything wrong. Jeongguk just doesn’t know how to be physically close to him without losing his absolute shit every single time. Honestly who could blame him? Just look at Taehyung. Sitting there crouched with his robe half open, big round eyes looking at Jeongguk as he waits for an answer. 

Jeongguk is going to die before this is done. Well and truly die, he’s sure of it. His heart is just going to burst into spontaneous flames one day, or it’s going to explode in his chest. Death by cute as hell pout doesn’t seem like the _worst_ way to go though, he thinks. 

Still, he slowly shakes his head in answer to Taehyung’s question. “I...you...no,” he answers finally. It’s the only answer his tongue will come unglued from the roof of his mouth long enough to let him say. 

Oh, this is going to be so challenging. Working alongside Taehyung everyday is going to be a challenge indeed. 

There is a glint in Taehyung’s eyes as he watches Jeongguk, a smile curving his lips as the other man answers him and he nods his head agreeably. “Right then. I should unpack and then get some sleep. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.” 

Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Training Jeongguk will be, in fact, the most fun that Taehyung has had in a long time. Well, less the training and more the messing with him. Same difference. Fun was fun. 

⛸⛸

Jeongguk is convinced that is exactly what Taehyung is doing. Messing with him. 

Like the way that he insisted on sitting next to him at dinner, their thighs brushing together as they ate with his family. 

Like the way that Taehyung’s fingers slipped under the table and _accidentally_ brushed against his knee right where a hole had worn into his comfortable sweatpants practically sending Jeongguk into cardiac arrest. 

Like the way he’d _casually_ suggested they sleep together in Jeongguk’s room. To get to know one another better, to build trust between them he’d said. 

Jeongguk had choked on dinner, nearly spitting food across the table at his father as his face flushed about fifty shades of red and he ducked his head and coughed. 

Yeah, Taehyung is definitely messing with him.

Curled up in bed hours later - with Taehyung in his own room, thank you very much - Jeongguk lay staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out exactly what the game is. What has he gotten himself into and how exactly did he manage it? What angle is Taehyung playing at here? Part of him, that little devil on his shoulder, wants him to believe that it’s all just a joke to Taehyung. That it’s all part of an elaborate plan he doesn’t know the meaning of. 

However, a larger part of him refuses to accept that. And not just because Taehyung is his crush. Not just because he is the most beautiful person that Jeongguk has ever laid eyes on. But because he knows his heart is sweeter than that, knows that the other skater is genuinely more sincere than that. How could he not know after all these years of idolizing him? Watching his interactions with fans. There wasn’t a mean bone in Taehyung’s body, Jeongguk was sure of it. 

Which just left the question of why his heart felt so weird about all of this. Why did it pick up so fast when Taehyung was near? Why couldn’t he form words or get his brain to formulate sentences? As his gaze shifts from the ceiling to the walls that are plastered with Taehyung’s face, posters from magazines and news articles taped up on every bit of spare space, he puzzles out his feelings on the matter. Looking at Taehyung this way is easier, less damaging to his heart. The real-life in person version of the man on his walls is so vibrant and full of life, so all-encompassing, that it is almost hard to breathe around him sometimes. At least, for Jeongguk. 

Nobody else seems to have a problem breathing just fine around Taehyung but that is neither here nor there. Right? 

As Taehyung’s eyes peer back at him through a poster as they have done since his teenage years, Jeongguk feels something settle warm and solid in his chest as his heart eases down from its erratic beating. This is familiar. It reminds him of summer nights sitting up talking to the posters like they would talk back, getting out all of his frustrations about skating and how much progress he thought he should be making by this point. To think that the real Taehyung is just a room away, curled up on a mat with Yeontan nuzzled into his side. To think that he doesn’t have to talk to his posters anymore - he can actually talk to him. 

The thought is dizzying and disorienting but it’s also … warm? It fills him with a warmth that he can’t describe and he comes to the singular conclusion that the warmth is his happiness. He is, in this moment, well and truly happy. Where he hadn’t been able to properly process his emotions earlier - going from shock to disbelief to panic all in such a short time - here in the quiet of his room he can and all he can feel is warm happiness. It spreads through his body, lighting up his fingers and his toes like the crackle of a fire on a winter night. 

Oh boy. 

⛸⛸

Of course, it’s easy to forget that happiness and that warmth the next morning as he’s bent over his knees panting for breath because his lungs are _burning._ Taehyung made him run all the way to the Ice Castle while he rode a bike with a little basket at the handlebars, Yeontan panting and watching the scenery go by. 

He wheezes to catch his breath, thinking not for the first time that everyone is right and he really does need to get back into shape because this is getting out of hand. He didn’t have any time to call and warn Seokjin and Namjoon that they were coming - so the looks of absolute shock on their faces as Taehyung casually introduces himself and announces that he’ll be coaching Jeongguk is absolutely priceless. 

Namjoon’s mouth hangs open and Seokjin’s eyes are comically wide and Jeongguk wishes he had his camera so that he could capture this moment forever. Alas, all he can do is tuck an arm against his middle and start to laugh. It’s a big, boisterous, loud laugh that sees him falling over onto the floor as it fills the lobby of the arena. 

“O-oh you should s-see your f-faces!” He manages to squeak the words out around his laugh. 

When the laugh starts to subside he flops onto his back on the floor, arms and legs starfished out because suddenly all of the energy has drained out of his body and he lives here now. Right here on this floor never to rise. Rest in peace, Jeongguk, he was a mediocre skater at best and his death was caused by Kim Taehyung. There were worse ways to die, he supposed. 

When Taehyung places a foot on either side of his hips, leaning down to offer his hand to Jeongguk, he feels his heart about leap out of his chest and onto the ground beside him. 

Yeah, there were way worse ways to die. 

⛸⛸

Hours later and they’re gathered around the safety wall of the rink watching Taehyung glide across the ice. The triplets have every electronic device known to man pulled out so that they can record and photograph and get ready to upload at any given moment. Seokjin stares with rapt attention, eyes wide and hands pressed to his cheeks as if his head will just fly right off his shoulders if he doesn’t hold it in place. 

Namjoon stands beside Jeongguk, watching him from the corner of his eyes. He catches the way Jeongguk’s face lights up as he watches Taehyung skate across the ice with an effortless ease. Sees the way the other skater’s breath hitches as the toe pick of one skate pushes into the ice and provides the momentum to allow Taehyung to go flying in the air with his arms tucked against his body, twirling a good solid three times before he lands smoothly on the blade of a single skate. 

It’s easy to see that Jeongguk is done for, a goner for Taehyung. Not much has changed since they were kids. 

“So you’ll be staying here in Busan for a while to train, then?” Namjoon keeps his voice low as he props his chin in his hand with his elbow on the wall, turning to look more fully at Jeongguk. 

“Yeah, he says he wants to use this as our home base for now. I told him I’d talk to you two about it, of course.” 

Namjoon doesn’t say anything as Jeongguk refuses to look away from Taehyung on the ice, like something tethers his gaze to the silvery-haired legend. He just lets out a chuckle and pats his friend on the back. 

“Of course. We’d be honored to have you both here as long as you want.” 

An easy silence passes between them again and Namjoon tucks his arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders amiably and it feels like old times again. The three of them gathered together watching Taehyung, that starry-eyed look in Jeongguk’s eyes. Only now … now Namjoon can see that it’s one hundred times worse than it was when they were kids. 

“Talk about having your dreams come true, huh Guk?” 

Jeongguk’s cheeks flush pink because he knows that Namjoon just gets it. His thoughts trickle back to a night in high school when they’d stayed up too late into the night, eyes bleary with the need to sleep as they stretched out beside one another on Jeongguk’s bed. That was the night Namjoon told him he was in love with Seokjin. That he wanted to marry him and start a family and maybe run a business together. And that was the night that Jeongguk told Namjoon that his greatest wish in the world was to spend his life with Taehyung. 

It was a silly dream. A pipe dream. A wish that could never be reality because Taehyung was a _star_ who didn’t even know his name and Jeongguk was just a junior skater with a ridiculous crush, right? 

Except here they are years later and Namjoon is living his dream and Jeongguk? Well, his dream is skating across the ice in front of him, blue eyes turning to find his golden one and making his heart skip a beat. 

“Yeah, a dream come true,” he hears himself say in a breathless whisper, barely loud enough to be heard. 

Taehyung stares straight into his soul as he skates, twisting this way and that but always bringing his gaze back to Jeongguk. He looks free on the ice, looks exactly the way that Jeongguk felt when he was skating his routine. Like a bird flying above the water - weightless and effortless and _free._

Jeongguk struggles to understand how it is that _he_ inspired Taehyung. How could he have possibly inspired the man who inspires so many others? There’s nothing special about him, nothing above average or inspiring. He’s certainly no Kim Taehyung, no Min Yoongi. Self-doubt clouds his mind at every turn and he wrings his hands together as he watches the other man slide across the ice with ease, the blades of his skating making crisp, clean lines in the glassy surface. 

As if he can feel Jeongguk’s doubt oozing out of him, Taehyung chooses that moment to skate close to the wall, angling his skates so that he can stop on a dime right in front of the other skater. He reaches to press a hand on top of Jeongguk’s where it rests on the safety wall and he squeezes his fingers as he offers him the biggest, boxiest smile there’s ever been. 

That’s it. Just a smile and a squeeze of his fingers and he’s off skating again and leaving Jeongguk a spluttering, stammering, red-faced mess. 

But that doubt seems to have eased some in his heart, at least. 

⛸⛸

Hoseok has always been a strict teacher. He runs Jeongguk through warm-ups in relative silence, watching with a critical eye as he stretches and gets his muscles limber and ready for the harder work that is to come. His eyes narrow when the figure skater has to take a break at the barre and catch his breath and he stands there with his arms crossed over his chest. It’s not that he’s mean-spirited, or that he doesn’t care about the boy in front of him. In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. 

He knows how to motivate Jeongguk, and can see when there is something weighing so heavy on his mind that it almost seems to physically press into his shoulders and hunch him over. Time to bring out the big guns and help the kid work through what it is since he doesn’t seem inclined to do anything other than live in his head these days. 

“He probably just wanted an excuse to take a break,” he says casually. 

He suspects he knows how the words will affect Jeongguk and he’s proven right when the skater shoots a surprised and hurt look at him, one hand pressing against his chest as if the words were a spear straight through his heart. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” Jeongguk’s words have bite behind them, but there’s no real fight in his eyes. He really believes that Taehyung is just using him as an excuse to take a break, doesn’t really care about helping him so much as just using him. Hobi’s heart breaks a little at that thought, aches for the kid in front of him that he’s known basically his whole life. 

“Ugh, don’t be such a fucking idiot kid,” he grumbles at him. He’s not good with emotions and feelings and all that mushy crap. Sure, he doesn’t want him to be sad or stuck in his feels or whatever - but that’s not really his field of expertise. He’s always used dance to get out of his own head and express his feelings and through the years he’s forced Jeongguk to do the same thing. Get out on the floor and work through the emotions, get them all out so they don’t interfere with the routines. And god, that was better than _talking_ about crap. 

Apparently Jeongguk hasn’t been too keen to follow his advice these days, though. Instead he’s been bottling everything up inside until he’s like a bottle of soda that’s been dropped and is just a second away from exploding everywhere. He let it affect his performances at competition the previous year, let his feelings and his thoughts mess up everything they’d worked so hard for. And here he is again with Taehyung so close and he’s on the verge of screwing it all up because he won’t get out of his own damned head. 

Not on Hobi’s watch. 

Ballet follows warm ups, a quick work through of the positions at the barre before Jeongguk is positioned in the center of the room facing the mirror. A series of quick, fast movements carry him across the dance floor, his arms gliding and moving with each twist and small leap as his slippered feet carry him. There is still a lot of bounce in his steps, Hobi notes, still a lot of lightness to his movements. He’s no ballet dancer - but figure skating does require a certain sense of ballet in order to communicate the graceful fluidity of the movements to the audience and Jeongguk has always been able to glide with an ease that not all figure skaters have.

“Your core is still strong, but you need to work on your posture,” Hoseok says as Jeongguk comes out of a series of pirouettes. “Keep your spine straight and you’ll stop wobbling on the back end.” 

Ballet is a big part of the routines that many figure skaters put together and the two often go hand-in-hand with their graceful styling and the emphasis on the importance of posture and fluidity. Hobi pushes Jeongguk, pushes him right to the edge and then keeps pushing until he can see that all the other man is thinking about are the steps. Until there is sweat dripping from the ends of his dark hair where it’s plastered to his forehead. Until there is no room for him to think and get lost in his head - until there is only the dance and the steps and the moment here in front of the mirror where his head is clear and his thoughts and emotions don’t weigh him down. 

He sees the moment that Jeongguk reaches that point, watches as the weight seems to lift from the other man’s shoulders and everything about him becomes lighter. More free. He glides across the floor as if he were on skates and this were ice, he moves like the routine fills him with air and lets him float off the ground. It is a beautiful thing to watch - to see a person let themselves become so free and untethered from the world. That feeling lingers on Jeongguk’s face long after his routine is done, long after he is a mess on the floor of the studio panting for breath and chugging water. 

“He’s here because of _you,_ idiot,” he says as he leans against the barre and looks across at Jeongguk. “Don’t be a fucking dummy and screw it up because you refuse to get out of your head.” 

⛸⛸

Taehyung keeps a careful eye over Jeongguk while he exercises. He’ll totally get used to him always be around, right? That’s what Jeongguk tells himself as he heads out on a run with Taehyung and Yeontan not far behind on the bike. That’s what he tells himself when he’s working on his bench leg step up jumps as Taehyung sits on the other end of the bench asking him questions he doesn’t always have the answers for. 

It does get a little easier to be around him, to talk to him. He gets used to the easiness of it, gets used to seeing his face in the morning at breakfast time and talking to him throughout the day. Of course, the eagerness of his heart doesn’t calm and sometimes Taehyung still catches him completely off-guard and surprised. 

Like today. 

“Do you have a crush on Hobi, then?”

They’d been talking while Jeongguk worked on his jumps, about how Hobi had once been a professional dancer and how he’d once spent more time at his studio than he did in his own home. How it was Hobi that convinced him to go out for figure skating in the first place because he believed in him so much. 

Still, the question seems to come out of left field and surprises him into a stumble of a stop, eyes wide and agog. “What?! Gross, no. He’s like a big brother.” 

He couldn’t imagine himself ever seeing Hoseok as anything other than a brotherly figure, a person who cared greatly about him and who he cared about but in a completely platonic way. How could I possibly have feelings for anyone but you, is what his mind says. How could I possibly have a crush on Hobi when I’ve been crushing on you for so long that you’re all I see. Just the thought has the tips of his ears turning red and he turns so that his back is facing Taehyung and he can work on his other leg. 

“Huh, I see. Do you have a girlfriend then? Any ex-girlfriends we can talk about?”

Each question that Taehyung asks has Jeongguk’s shoulders hunching further and further, his ears burning brighter and brighter. 

“Ah, nothing to say Jeonggukie? That's alright, we can talk about _me_ for a change,” Taehyung says with no small amount of teasing to his tone. “My first girlfriend was an absolute _disaster_ , as it so happens. I remember trying to kiss her and it was so completely awkward and uncomfortable. “My first boyfriend on the other hand…” 

Jeongguk’s strangled noise of surprise brings a smile to Taehyung’s lips that he works to hide as the other skater turns around to look at him with wide eyes and red cheeks. That’s not … he didn’t … Jeongguk blinks and rapidly turns around again but not before Taehyung sees the way that his tongue pierces the inside of his cheek or the way that his teeth clamp down hard. 

Interesting. 

Jeongguk does his best to ignore Taehyung, getting back to his reps and trying not to replay in his mind the words that the other man had just said. He’s absolutely not thinking about Taehyung sharing a kiss with his first boyfriend. He’s definitely not picturing that and balling his hands into angry fists as he does. Certainly not. 

Taehyung can’t help but chuckle a little, almost under his breath, at how obvious Jeongguk doesn’t realize he’s being. He’s dealt with fangirls and fanboys most of his life so he’s used to this kind of behavior - but there is something adorable and endearing about the way that Jeongguk seems to be jealous of the fact that he’s kissed a boy before. There have been a few boys before, in fact, but Taehyung doesn’t say that out loud. Instead, he just stands and presses a hand to the small of Jeongguk’s back. It’s a brief, fleeting touch followed by the shift of his fingers down his arm until he’s reaching to wrap both hands around one of Jeongguk’s fists. 

He pets the tightly closed fingers until he feels them start to unclench and relax beneath his long fingers, coaxes them loose from a fist until he sees Jeongguk’s eyes become less wide and his breathing evens out. 

And maybe for the first time the whole world seems to spin around Taehyung and only he and Jeongguk remain still. 

“That’s enough training for today, Gukkie,” he says as he offers a big boxy smile and all Jeongguk can think is that his eyes shine brighter than all the stars in the sky. “Take me sightseeing here in Busan, hm?” 

And Jeongguk probably couldn’t deny Taehyung if he tried. 

⛸⛸

“Busan, huh?” 

Yoongi was curled around a pillow on his bed, phone in one hand as he scrolled through Instagram until he zeroed in on a series of pictures from Taehyung doing very tourist-y type things. Posed in front of buildings and pretty statues, holding up his signature ‘V’ with Yeontannie by his side or tucked under one arm. 

The last picture is him and that stupid idiot Jeongguk. Taehyung has his arm wrapped around the other man’s shoulders and his face learned so close their cheeks are touching. Yoongi can’t help but notice how relaxed and comfortable he looks, how rested he looked. Jeongguk, on the other hand, looks so awkward and wooden it’s painful to see. Like he froze up the moment that Taehyung touched him, like his brain just malfunctioned like some kind of computer program shutting down. What a _moron._

“I knew you couldn’t hide from me forever,” Yoongi says to the picture of Taehyung on the screen, fingers tightening on the phone as he formulates a plan. He can’t be bothered to think of the consequences or the trouble that he’ll face from Si-hyuk. Taehyung made him a promise and he’s going to make damned sure that he keeps it - no matter what. 

⛸⛸

Taehyung’s little show-off on social media sees an outpouring of reporters and fans showing up in Busan basically overnight. The hot springs are overrun with people looking for him, Ice Castle is overrun with reporters shoving their microphones and their cameras in Namjoon and Seokjin’s faces. Everyone in town is in a tizzy over the veritable circus that has overrun them, excited to have so many new faces and tourists in town after something of a dry spell. 

The only one really unphased by all the attention is Taehyung himself, of course. At least, externally. He’s used to the attention and the media circus that follows him around. That isn’t to say that he didn’t enjoy the break from them - he certainly did. The time that he’d been able to spend in Busan without anyone actually knowing where he was? It was like the vacation he should have always been able to have. The company wasn’t bad either. 

Especially a certain wavy-haired boy who looked at him with heart eyes when he thought he wasn’t looking. 

Days pass into a week and Jeongguk keeps working hard. When he’s not running, he’s at the dance studio. When he’s not at the dance studio, he’s in the gym. Though his evenings are usually dominated by dinner, soaking his muscles in the hot springs and then passing out (in that order) he always finds a way to make room to spend time with Taehyung. Sometimes they are seated near each other on the couch watching television, other times they are stretched out on the floor beside one another while they scroll through their phones in relative silence. It’s easy, this relationship that is starting to develop between them. It’s a slow building of trust between skater and coach - but there is something else simmering beneath the surface there too. 

Something in the way that Taehyung leans very close to Jeongguk to see something on his phone he’s trying to show him. So close that he can feel his breath on the shell of his ear and swears that Taehyung can hear the hammering in his heart. 

Something in the way that Jeongguk has fallen asleep twice this week with his head on Taehyung’s lap and all he could do was coo quietly at how adorable he was and brush his fingers through the mop of hair on his forehead as electricity sparked where their skin touched. 

And if Hobi came in one night and found them both asleep on the couch - Taehyung’s face tucked against Jeongguk’s neck and Jeongguk’s arm wrapped around Taehyung’s waist? Well, it was nobody’s business that he covered them with a blanket and left them be. It’s nobody’s business that he scared everyone else away from the room with a single glare as he stood guard at the door with arms crossed over his chest. 

Yeah, there is definitely something else looming on the horizon than just your run of the mill coach and skater relationship. 

⛸⛸

Yoongi is faced with an internal dilemma as soon as he enters Busan. There is a creepy-cool statue that he just took a picture of but he can’t share it to social media or else Si-Hyuk will know exactly where he is. Which would defeat the whole purpose of him having broken all the rules and leaving the arena, and the country, to come find Taehyung and drag him back to Japan as soon as possible. He grumbles at the injustice and just saves the picture to share later when it’s safe and he can get away with it. The last thing he needs is his coach running in here and dragging him back before he’s had a chance to bring Taehyung back with him. That just will not do. 

So he pulls his facemask up over his nose to hide all but his eyes, his hoodie pulled close around his head. Dragging his leopard-print suitcase through a street of shops, he resists the urge to just start yelling Taehyung’s name as if he’ll hear him and come running. No need to seem desperate, Yoongi. With one hand tucked into his pocket as he walks with his head down, he looks the very picture of teenage angst and the way that he practically _snarls_ at anyone that even looks at him has everyone giving him a wide berth as he stalks along. 

….until he spots a sweater that has a kitten in a bow tie. It’s so stupid cute he has to have it right. this. instant. And just like that, all thoughts of keeping his location secret fly out the window because as soon as he buys the sweater he throws it on under his hoodie and then has to snap a picture. Is it fair that he opens his phone to take the picture and angles the camera down and _still_ looks like his jawline could cut glass? No, it’s absolutely not. He just captions the photo with a little kitty emoji and ignores the fact that he’s just gone and revealed his location. Could anyone blame him though? The cute little fucking kitten on his shirt is wearing a bowtie. A bowtie! How could he not share it with the whole world so that they’d know how damned cute it was too? It was basically his responsibility to share this level of adorableness with everyone, honestly. 

It doesn’t take long for his coach to call him and start screaming through the phone, but Yoongi isn’t like all his other skaters. He doesn’t take that shit lying down. So he screams right back, making damned sure Si-hyuk knows he won’t be returning until Taehyung makes good on his promise … and then he does the mature thing and he hangs up on his coach and shoves his phone into his pocket. 

He has always been a rule breaker, choosing to go his own way. In the early days when he’d first started skating with Si-hyuk he drove him _nuts_ because he refused to listen. Taehyung, on the other hand, praised him for being a rule breaker. For having the guts to prove that he deserved to be on top. They bonded over their mutual rebellion and something of a camaraderie was formed despite their age difference.

So when Taehyung promised that he would choreograph his senior debut if he won the Junior World Championships, Yoongi took him seriously and meant to hold him to that promise. 

Which is why it stings so fucking bad that here he is ready to make his senior debut and here Taehyung is wasting his time his time with some no-talent moron in Korea. 

Finding Taehyung ended up not being so difficult - but when he did, of course that idiot Jeongguk was close by. Bragging to Taehyung about how he’d finally reached his goal weight again. Ugh, what a joke. 

“He promised _me_ a program long before he knew you, moron,” Yoongi growled as he strode into the rink like he owned the place. Anger boiled in his veins when he glared at the pair of them, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie. “And I don’t intend to let him forget it.” 

It’s easy to be intimidated by Min Yoongi, Jeongguk thinks. He presents himself with a tough exterior, someone who is untouchable and angry and fierce. But underneath the surface, he thinks, there is something softer and more vulnerable. He’s just a kid who feels like he’s got an awful lot to prove and while Jeongguk was certainly never as _mean_ as Yoongi, he remembers what that feels like. 

He realises something interesting, though, as Yoongi goes on a tirade about how terrible he is and how he _forced_ Taehyung to take a year off skating to coach him. 

Yoongi completely underestimates him. 

He thinks that he’s just the guy from last year who let his nerves get the best of him. Thinks that he’ll amount to nothing and that he’s no threat. And maybe in the back of Jeongguk’s mind those thoughts linger and they nag at him. Maybe the devil on his shoulder looks an awful lot like the mint-haired teenager telling him how he can never do right. But, they are quieter thoughts these days. 

Especially when he peers at Taehyung and finds that he is already looking at him, his blue eyes always seem to be on him. He feels a boost of confidence and a surge of something else unspoken that brings a warmth to his cheeks and his heart.

He didn’t force Taehyung to do anything. He chose to come here, on his own, because he wanted to. Because he wanted to be Jeongguk’s coach. 

And that is a more powerful feeling than all the doubt his Yoongi-devil tries to whisper in his ear. 

⛸⛸

Jeongguk can’t pinpoint exactly how the train of events happened but … apparently there is now to be a competition between him and Yoongi. Taehyung is going to choreograph them each a piece that they’re meant to display at a showcase to see who surprises and inspires the audience more. 

It’s nerve-wracking because though Taehyung doesn’t say it - Jeongguk worries that this could snap the thin thread of whatever they’re starting to build here. Worries that if he loses against Yoongi, Taehyung could very well choose to pack up and head back to Japan with him never to be seen or heard from again. 

Self-doubt is a strange thing because one moment he feels very clearly like he belongs with Taehyung training him and he deserves to let the newfound relationship between them unfold. But then the next minute he sees Taehyung laughing with Yoongi and the way that his face lights up, the way that he says he’s proud of the kid, it makes his heart clench because he worries. 

Worries that he’s not going to win and that Taehyung is going to realize what Yoongi has been saying all this time. 

That Jeongguk is just a moron that isn’t worth his energy. 

And maybe he is a moron, but not for the reasons that he believes. Not for the reasons that Yoongi has a way of hammering into his head. 

But because he doesn’t see the way that Taehyung worries after him. Doesn’t see that when he was gone for too long that first night that Yoongi came, Taehyung went searching for him only to find him skating his anxiety out like he’d done for as long as he could remember. Doesn’t see the way that Taehyung sought out Hobi and Namjoon and Seokjin just to learn a little bit more about Jeongguk so that he could maybe understand what was going on in his head. 

Jeongguk was a lot harder to read for Taehyung than anyone else had ever been. Where Yoongi was not afraid to be unapologetically himself around him, it is like Jeongguk struggles to find the right balance between being himself and pleasing those around him. It made Taehyung want to work at helping him see he could be exactly who he was with him. Always with him. 

Jeongguk wasn’t exactly a moron, but he was a little blind. 

⛸⛸

“The piece of music that we’ll be using comes in two arrangements and each arrangement has a different theme. The first is On Love: Agape. It means unconditional love.” 

Taehyung plays the music for them and watches as Yoongi pulls a face. It is softer, with a more gentle sound than he’s used. It’s not something that he would ever pick for himself. Jeongguk seems to be considering it, his head tilting and his eyes closing as he listens to the flow of the music. 

“The second is On Love: Eros. It means sexual love, or desire.” 

The music is more daring, bolder and punchier. Jeongguk raises both eyebrows as he watches Taehyung, because it doesn’t sound like something he would ever pick for himself. It’s too brash and outspoken. Yoongi, on the other hand, seems particularly interested. It fits right up his alley, hammers right into that bad boy image that he’s been trying to carefully cultivate. 

“Yoongi will skate to Agape, while Jeongguk skates to Eros.” Yoongi looks about ready to burst, flabbergasted to the highest degree, but when he opens his mouth to argue Taehyung only holds up one long-fingered hand to stop him. 

“My decision is final, Yoongi, and if you disagree with it and choose not to participate in the skate-off, you’d better return to Japan now. You have to do the opposite of what people expect of you, how else will you surprise your audience?” 

There’s a challenge in the way that he looks at Yoongi, expecting a fight. When he receives none, he gives the both of them one final warning. 

“If you aren’t up to my standards by next week, I won’t choreograph either of your routines for the new season.” 

⛸⛸

Yoongi is biting his tongue so hard that he swears he can taste blood, hands angrily shoved into the pockets of his jacket. He wants to argue. Stupid Agape is the wrong stupid song for him and he wants to prove it to Taehyung. What a dumb decision - clearly being holed up in Korea all this time has fried his brain. 

Eventually, Taehyung leaves room for him to talk and he takes the opportunity as soon as it’s available. 

“ _Fine,_ ” he growls. “I’ll skate to your stupid agape and I’ll win. But when I do, you’re coming back to Japan with me so that you can dedicate all your time to me this season.” 

He gets right up in Taehyung’s face as he says it, crowding his space and letting him see how irritated he is, how serious he is. 

“Ok,” he hears Taehyung say with a nod of his head. 

Good. This is exactly what he wants. Taehyung back in Japan and away from the moron that is clearly messing up his head. 

⛸⛸

There must be a reason that Taehyung has chosen to give him Eros, Jeongguk thinks. It’s got to have something to do with development or learning to be a person that he isn’t normally. Showing a side of himself to the audience that he doesn’t normally. It’s a good lesson to be learned, one that Jeongguk has admittedly avoided most of his life - opening up to others, especially strangers, is difficult. 

Especially when you don’t feel like they ever accept you. 

Especially when you don’t feel like anything you do is ever good enough. 

His thoughts of self-doubt and confusion sweep him away and he almost misses the conversation between Yoongi and Taehyung, except that he hears the agreement to return to Japan if Yoongi wins and he maybe he feels like his heart stops for a second. 

For the first time he feels like the room stays still and he spins out of control. 

He struggles to control his features, to hide his trembling hands in the pockets of his jacket and keep his voice steady as Taehyung turns his attention on him. 

“And what do you want if you win, Jeonggukie?” There’s a softness to the other man’s voice when he says his name and the way his tongue curls around the syllables of the nickname warms Guk’s heart. 

A million thoughts flit through Jeongguk’s head for a split second and then there’s radio silence. Like all the thoughts and wishes and dreams of his have just flown out the window in the face of the fear that Taehyung could be gone as quickly as he came. He doesn’t want to force him to stay here, but he selfishly wishes that he will even if he loses. Even if he knows that he wouldn’t deserve to have him stay and be his coach if he loses to Yoongi. His wishes are less grand than Yoongi’s, though, and less wrapped up in having Taehyung be his coach. 

Yes, he wants him to coach him and help him win. But there’s so much more than that under the surface too. So much more that he refuses to admit to himself and definitely to Taehyung. But he can’t just give up already, right? There’s no _guarantee_ that Yoongi will beat him, and Jeongguk is an incredibly competitive person by nature. He could still go back to Japan even if you win, that nagging voice in the back of his mind tells him. And he knows that. Knows that deep in his heart of hearts and dreads the thought. Because he wants Taehyung to stay for so many more reasons than just to be his coach. 

“I just want to spend more time with you, Tae. Eating pork cutlet bowls and enjoying the hot springs and seeing the sights around town. Having you here has been … it’s been wonderful.” 

He starts big and brave but by the end his voice dwindles and his confidence wanes and his cheeks burn but he doesn’t tear his gaze from Taehyung’s, doesn’t miss the way that his eyes widen a little and he looks equal parts surprised and pleased. 

He wants Taehyung to stay and coach him, but mostly he just wants Taehyung to stay. 

Maybe mostly he just wants Taehyung. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading as always. It means a great deal to me that anybody reads my stories because I'm not sure I deserve the attention or the kudos or the comments. I greatly appreciate and cherish every single one, though, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. 
> 
> The actual skating exhibition will take place in the next chapter, which will be ready to roll this time next week so stick around if you're looking forward to it like I am! 
> 
> Please, leave your thoughts here or come find me on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/TaekookPanda) and chat at me. I am aiming to leave a little sneak peek of upcoming chapters the week I'm planning on releasing them, if that's something you're interested in. 
> 
> I appreciate you all. 
> 
> Happy reading!


	3. Showdown on the Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stakes are higher than ever - if Jeongguk does not manage to defeat Min Yoongi, Taehyung will return to Japan with the younger skater. 
> 
> Will Yoongi find the source of his agape, will he be able to channel it into his skate so that he can claim Taehyung as his prize and drag him back to Japan? 
> 
> Will Jeongguk find the source of his eros and stop living so far inside his head that he keeps sabotaging himself? 
> 
> or ; 
> 
> Jeongguk hates losing - and he hates the thought of losing Taehyung most of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my dears! Here we go again with another chapter that highlights my obsession both with BTS and Yuri!!! on Ice. I do hope that you're enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it. This is probably easily my favorite chapter I've written so far because I feel like it's really a turning point for all three main characters in different ways.
> 
> For those that are just jumping in to read, or have stumbled here for the first time: each chapter is based around a single episode of Yuri, though I like to think I have done a decent job of adapting it to BTS and also adding and subtracting so that it is different enough. I think I'm finally starting to hit my stride as I stray a little bit more each chapter away from the true 'script' of the episode and delve more into my interpretation and take and how it adapts to Taekook and the other characters as a whole. 
> 
> I want to take a minute to send a shout out to my Jiminie, my bestie, the first person to ever believe I could do this and encourage me to keep going even when it was tough. She has been a beta reader, an ear, a helpful hand. She has been a shoulder and a support and I do not know what I would do without her. [ Bestie ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boxysmiletae/pseuds/Boxysmiletae) I don't know what I would do without you and I don't ever want to find out. Thank you so much for all that you do for me, I love you to the moon and back forever and ever. You're stuck with me now, friend. 
> 
> Please enjoy the brattiest Min Yoongi I think I've ever written (and boy do I love him) and also the budding relationship between Taehyung and Jeongguk. It's a while yet before it comes to a head - but I really enjoy delving into their heads and feeling out their thoughts and their feelings about each other. Who doesn't love that adorable blush on Jeongguk's cheeks? 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> {The following mood board was made for me by the incomparable [ Anna ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shenannagations/pseuds/shenannagations) who is the absolute _Queen_ of moodboards. She also happens to write phenomenal content so please go give her a follow!)
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/7nbbmAb)

Taehyung was perplexed, something new and exciting hammering in his heart at Jeongguk’s confession. The cute way that he started out strong and seemed to lose his resolve, the endearing way that pink dusted his cheeks and climbed all the way up to his ears. Taehyung wanted to reach over and rub soothingly at the too-red tips of his ears, tickle his fingers affectionately against the soft skin under Jeonggukkie’s chin. 

Maybe mostly he just wants Jeongguk. 

It’s a confusing realization and he doesn’t know what to do with it other than to shove it as far down into his head as he can to think about later. Or maybe never. This was new territory for him. He’s been in uncharted waters with Jeongguk for awhile, though hasn’t he? Well before he’d ventured to Korea and inserted himself into the other skater’s life. Long enough to recognize the doubt in Jeongguk’s eyes and the lines of worry creasing his brows. Long enough to want to see those lines smoothed over and that doubt erased from his face, replaced instead with the confidence Taehyung thought he should feel. 

If only Jeongguk knew exactly how long he’d been on Taehyung’s mind. 

Instead of telling him, though, it’s far easier for Taehyung to shoo Jeongguk and Yoongi both off the ice so that he can run through their routines one at a time. As the notes of the song for Yoongi’s performance fill the rink, he starts to glide across the ice with grand, sweeping motions. Everything about this performance is elegant and intricate, the footwork intentionally complicated. Each movement is well thought out and intended to evoke the feeling of agape in the hearts of the audience, meaning that Yoongi will need to perform it with conviction. 

“This routine is technically difficult, Yoongi,” he says as he skids to a stop and looks at the pair of them watching him. “But, it will also require you to put quite a lot of genuine feeling into it. You cannot skate by simply with your sheer technical prowess.” 

He wants to make Yoongi dig deeper into himself and find the emotion he needs for the piece. Because that’s what will make him an even better skater. There is no doubt that the teenager is easily one of the most technically gifted young performers out there currently. But all that technique ultimately means absolutely nothing if you can’t get the audience to  _ feel _ something when you skate. It’s the emotion that keeps them coming back, the feeling in their heart the driving force that makes them want to cheer for you. That’s the missing piece in Yoongi’s skates right now, and it’s the one thing that could push him from being great to being  _ phenomenal. _ Si-hyuk is a good coach, but he’s also focused too much on pushing Yoongi to be the best with his technique because the kid is gifted. But too much of that and ultimately he’ll stall out too early in his career. Taehyung cares too much to let that happen. 

“Yah, I know alright? I can skate just as good as you,” Yoongi snaps with his usual growl. There’s no bite in his words, though, and Taehyung knows he’s just putting up a front like he always does. The kid was a tough nut to crack, but that didn’t stop him from continually trying to work his way under the surface bit by bit. 

They share a brief look of understanding before Yoongi lets out a huff and pulls up his hood, stuffing his hands into his pockets so he can storm away and sit sulkily on a nearby bench. Far enough that it  _ looks _ like he’s not paying attention, but close enough that he can see the kind of routine that Taehyung has prepared for Jeongguk. 

The program for eros is no less difficult, the footwork no less complicated. The movements are less fluid and graceful though, sharper and more staccato to match the music and mood. It’s meant to evoke desire and lust, each movement drawing the eye along the body and whispering promises of what lies beyond. An unspoken promise seems to hang in the air with each twist of Taehyung’s body, the look in his eyes sultry and seductive. 

And if he brings the blue of his eyes back deliberately to Jeongguk’s face more than  _ strictly _ necessary? Well … who could blame him? Especially when he sees the flush of Jeongguk’s cheeks and the slight quickening of his breath. How could he possibly miss the opportunity to watch the way that he gets flustered and runs a hand through his hair as if trying to ground himself? 

He’s so adorable. 

“What do you think, Jeonggukkie?” He pulls himself close to the wall so that he is crowding into Jeongguk’s space again even with the short resistance between them. 

The way that Jeongguk’s nose wrinkles as he stammers and stutters over his words just worms its way into Taehyung’s heart and warms it from the inside out, his smile bright and boxy as he watches the other skater splutter and stumble before finally finding his tongue and his words. 

So freaking cute. 

“Uh, uhhhh … it was … it was something, Taehyungie.” There’s a breathless quality to his voice that makes something tighten in Taehyung’s gut and he only briefly lets himself imagine Jeongguk that breathless because of a kiss they’ve shared. His silly imagination always running away with him. 

Time to shift his focus lickety-split before he bridges the distance between them and does exactly what he itches to do most of all. 

“We’ll need to discuss what quads you can land, so that we can work them into the program,” he says, flipping the subject so fast that it seems to take Jeongguk’s mind a moment to catch up. He blinks his widened eyes slowly as if trying to compute the words just said to him and then realization dawns and he rubs a hand across the back of his neck sheepishly. 

Honestly how cute can one person be? 

⛸⛸

Jeongguk doesn’t think that he’s ever been so … affected by a single person’s skating routine before. There is something about Taehyung’s display of eros that has warmth pooling in his gut and also in his cheeks. He knows that he’s a jumbled mess, searching his brain for … words. Literally any words that don’t make him sound like an idiot. He’s pretty sure he fails miserably, but there’s a softening to Taehyung’s features that brings a sense of relief to his shoulders and for a brief moment he lets his gaze linger on the other man’s lips. 

Clearly a moment too long because before he knows it Taehyung has switched the subject lightening fast and it all feels very businesslike and Jeongguk is left reeling and confused. Because he could have sworn just a minute ago that Taehyung looked like he wanted to kiss him too. 

Nah, that can’t be right. Get out of your imagination, Jeongguk. 

“The toe loop for sure,” he hears himself saying almost robotically as he moves out onto the ice with Taehyung. “I’ve landed the Salchow in practice but I haven’t been able to land it in competition. Which is really frustrating, to be honest.” 

He’s always endlessly frustrated with himself because there are so many things that he seems to be able to do in practice that he just can’t follow through with in competition. He knows that they’re the things that would ratchet up his performances, get him the higher scores, land him spots in bigger competitions. But when the time comes to actually execute them on the ice? They flop. Every single time. 

It’s maddeningly frustrating. 

Taehyung seems to consider him, before nodding his head at Jeongguk’s words. “It is frustrating to watch you skate, if we’re being honest. You clearly have the talent but you keep selling yourself short and pulling back. I’m curious to know why  _ you _ think you keep messing up at competitions?” 

Coming from anyone else, Jeongguk might feel like Taehyung’s words are an insult. But there’s a softness to his tone and a gentleness to his delivery that speaks to his genuine want to help Jeongguk instead of just judging him. Which is why Jeongguk seriously considers his question, rolling it over in his head and trying to find the right answer. Not to satisfy Taehyung - but to satisfy himself. He can only improve if he can point out his own weaknesses and faults, right? 

“I think that I lack confidence,” he finally says in what sounds like a tiny little voice even to his ears. He avoids Taehyung’s eyes, not wanting to look and find judgement there. Or worse, pity. He has always hated the looks of pity that people give him when he messes up on the ice, when he falls short of his goals. Pity is such a pointless, useless thing because he does not help him grow. It does not help him improve. 

When Taehyung speaks, though, and Jeongguk forces himself to meet his gaze, there is no pity in his eyes. Just determination and understanding. 

“Well, my job as your coach is to help you feel more confident in yourself, Jeonggukkie. Ridding yourself of self-doubt will not only improve your performance for  _ this _ piece, but for all future pieces as well.” 

Suddenly the space between them is closing and their noses are practically brushing as Taehyung settles long fingers on the underside of Jeongguk’s chin. His thumb nudges up to brush against his bottom lip and electricity shoots through every part of Jeongguk’s body and he can only stand there rigid and wide-eyed, holding his breath until his lungs burn. The smell of strawberries and lemons is so strong it seeps into his very being until he can practically  _ taste _ them on his tongue. 

He can only focus on where the smooth pad of Taehyung’s thumb rubs against the fullness of his bottom lip, can only focus on where Taehyung’s blue eyes bore into his brown ones, can only focus on how easy it would be to close the distance between them and bring their lips together. The way that his silvery hair flops over his forehead and in front of his eyes makes Jeongguk want to reach up with trembling fingers and tuck it behind an ear. The way that his lips glisten with chapstick makes Jeongguk wonder if his lips taste like strawberries or lemons, or a delightful combination of both. 

He does not realize how close their actual bodies are until Taehyung’s knee bumps into his own and he lets out the breath that he did not realize he’d been holding. There is no way that Taehyung does not know what he does to Jeongguk. Not when he has him breathless and practically panting. Not when his lips easily part at the way that his thumb pets over his bottom lip. Not when he has to fist his hands at his sides so that he doesn’t reach out and touch when that’s all that his body is screaming for him to do. 

“Nobody really knows what your truest desires are, Jeongguk, except for you. I suspect that like every other part of you, they will be alluring. And I suspect that your self-doubt clouds your ability to see them, or to accept that part of yourself. Could you show me what they are, soon?” 

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.  _ Holy shit. _

If Jeongguk thought that his mind short-circuited before, he did not realize how much worse it could get. There is something in Taehyung’s gaze that is new and exciting, a darker expression that speaks to lips pressed together and fingers tangled in hair and limbs tangled in sheets and  _ holy shit _ Jeongguk was not mentally prepared to handle any of it. 

“Hey Taehyung, stop being fucking weird and come teach me. You said I was first!” 

Jeongguk has never been so thankful and so irritated at the exact same instance when Yoongi’s voice fills the arena. On the one hand, thank goodness the kid was there to break up whatever was about to happen - but on the other hand, how dare he be there to break up what was about to happen? 

Whatever that was. If it was even anything. Ugh, this whole situation is so confusing and perplexing and frustratingly exhilarating. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he hears Taehyung call as the other shifts back on his skates to put a little more room between them. It does little to control the way that Jeongguk’s heartbeat pounds heavy in his ears, and it does little to control the urge that he has to close the space between them again - though he doesn’t, thank you very much. 

“Think long and hard about what desire is to you, Jeongguk,” Taehyung says with a wink before skating off toward Yoongi who is pulling a disgusted face at the pair of them. 

For the rest of the practice all Jeongguk can think about is silvery hair and feathersoft fingers and strawberry lemonade. 

⛸⛸

Namjoon helps Jeongguk stretch the next day, warming up for the practice to come. They are blissfully alone, and thank goodness too because he really needs someone to talk to. He’d stayed awake far later than he probably should have, thinking about desire and what it meant to him and how he was going to incorporate it into the program. A program that was clearly meant for someone like Taehyung, someone who could pull off the acting and the confidence. Someone who would have the audience eating out of the palm of his hand. 

He tried not to let self-doubt seep into him again, trying to replay the words that Taehyung kept saying to him. That he was good enough and he was talented and he was capable of winning. But self-doubt is a weird thing and anxieties rarely listen to reason and so he struggled to convince himself to actually  _ believe _ the things that Taehyung said. Of course he’d said them. He was his coach, he was supposed to make him feel confident even if he wasn’t right? 

When he wasn’t wrapped up in his self-doubt, he was thinking about Taehyung himself. The feel of his fingers under his chin, the brush of his breath along his lips, the tips of their noses brushing. It had been difficult to get through dinner because everytime he looked across the table at Taehyung, he imagined their lips impossibly close. Hanging out after dinner had been even more difficult because Taehyung had stretched out on the couch and settled his head in Jeongguk’s lap for a change, reading a couple of articles out loud. It all had an odd, comforting sense of domesticity to it. 

Even now Taehyung is forefront in his mind as Namjoon helps him stretch. Sitting on the floor he folds his feet in flat together and then stretches out over the front of his legs, reaching with his fingertips as far as he can. Namjoon presses gently but insistently against his back, helping him reach the maximum reach and hold it for twenty seconds before he relents. 

“I don’t know if I know what eros is to me,” he admits quietly to Namjoon. 

He cannot see the other man’s face, his own buried in the carpet of the locker room as he holds another stretch and tightens the muscles in his core. He suspects that he might have a little bit of an inkling what it means to him these days, but he’s scared to admit it. Because that makes it real, and because regardless of how Taehyung acts with him … it all feels unreal. Like if he says the wrong thing or he does the wrong thing suddenly he will wake from the dream that his life has become. 

“Maybe you should focus less on what eros means to you, and more on how you’ll encompass the routine as a whole. It sounds really … sexy, and no offense Jeongguk but that’s not really you.” There is no apology in Namjoon’s voice, just blunt honesty. Jeongguk appreciates it. 

“I knoooooow.” He hears the whine in his own voice and lets out a frustrated grumble as he straightens up again after another long hold, stretching his back out with his arms above his head. 

“Taehyung says that I need to find what eros is to me because it will help me embody the performance, but even if I  _ do _ find it, what if it’s not enough? What if I still don’t skate well enough and he leaves to go back to Japan with Yoongi?” 

And there are the words. The words that have been jumbling around in his head that he’s been afraid to say. He doesn’t  _ want _ Taehyung to leave and though he doesn’t say it aloud - it’s not exclusively because he wants to keep him as a coach. Which, judging by the softening of Namjoon’s expression, he suspects the other man knows. 

“Look, Guk. You did a great job doing his routine in that video. You looked sexy and you really embodied the piece. Obviously he felt something watching you skate and that’s why he’s here. So instead of living inside your head worrying about screwing it up - which let’s face it, will probably make you screw up guaranteed - why don’t you just learn the routine and go out there and crush it with everything I know you have? Just let the cards fall where they may. And … well, if he ends up leaving after the showdown, maybe he wasn’t ever meant to be here in the first place.” 

Jeongguk considered Namjoon’s words. They are straightforward and blunt and as much as he wants to disagree - there is truth to what his friend says. Of course, worries don’t just disappear because someone wills them away and anxieties don’t just go on their happy little way because someone wants them to. Still, he can certainly try to do what Namjoon suggests and get out of his head at least a little bit. 

“Ok, I can try doing that for a change. No promises, though.”

⛸⛸

“What are you talking about?! I’m doing it exactly the way that you showed me!” Yoongi’s voice echoes around the rink as he glares at Taehyung. He’s standing there with his stupid silver hair and his stupid smug look and his stupid judgement, telling him that something is  _ wrong _ with the way that he’s skating. Bullshit, he skated it perfectly. Flawlessly. So good that he’d blow the audience out of the water and surpass Taehyung for sure. Nevermind the fact that he was going to beat that stupid moron who kept giving Taehyung gross heart eyes. 

“You’re skating only like you want to win,” Taehyung says patiently. “There’s no sense of agape in your performance at all, only the technique. And I told you,” he says, holding up a hand when Yoongi opens his mouth to interrupt. “I told you that it was going to take more than just  _ technique _ to perform this program properly. 

“Ugh, do you even know what agape is to  _ you, _ Taehyung?! I bet you don’t. Standing there with your stupid face telling me how to skate like I don’t know.” Yoongi loses all of his fight as he crosses his arms over his chest and does his very best to storm off - which is difficult in ice skates so mostly he just glides gracefully away before plopping onto a bench beyond the wall with a sullen expression. 

“It’s a feeling,” Taehyung explains calmly as he follows after the mint-haired teenager completely unphased by his grumbles and glares. “I can’t explain it in words, but I feel it in my heart. Have you ever considered your  _ feelings _ when you were skating, Yoongi? I don’t think you do. I think that you memorize your programs and then you skate them robotically and perfectly but there’s no meaning or intention behind the pieces. If you want to win - if you want to make the best senior debut possible - you need to put feeling into your routines. You need to figure out what agape means to you.” 

A thick, heavy silence falls between them as Min Yoongi tries to figure out what the word means to him. He has always been stubborn and does not understand why he has to put emotion behind his skating in order to win. It should be based off of technique and skill and he’s got loads of both so why should his inability to display stupid unconditional love keep him from winning? Especially when he can do the quads effortlessly. Especially when he can execute the turns perfectly. Especially when he knows the footwork like the back of his hand. 

Feelings are stupid. 

⛸⛸

Later that night Yoongi and Jeongguk are both in the hot springs soaking, soothing muscles sore from a long day of training. Jeongguk goes over and over the frustrations in his mind. He’s twenty-three years old - a damned adult - why can’t he properly display mature sexiness? It’s not a difficult concept, he can wrap his head around it - look at Taehyung. He’s sexy in basically everything that he does. But Jeongguk being sexy? He can’t get past seeing his round cheeks and his bunny teeth and the little bit of weight that he tends to carry in his stomach if he eats too much ramen. 

Ugh, it shouldn’t be this hard. 

As if on cue to display exactly what sexiness is - Taehyung makes his way into the hot springs and settles into the water too close to Jeongguk. Close enough that maybe he can hear the way that his heart rate picks up, the dumb traitorous thing pounding so loud against his chest. How does he make it look so effortless and easy? Maybe it’s his confidence. Jeongguk has always heard that confidence is sexy and Taehyung seems to have it in droves. He’s confident in his skating and he’s confident in his interactions with others - exuding the sense that he knows he’s desirable and desired but always just out of reach. 

Jeongguk doesn’t know how he gets through a soak with a very naked Taehyung next to him. At one point Taehyung touched his arm, just a light brush of fingers, and he felt like his entire body was going to combust. 

Kim Taehyung, with all of his sexiness and his confidence and his everything, is going to be the death of Jeongguk. He’s sure of it. 

Somehow he does manage to make it all the way to dinner, though, and as he lays there motionless on his back watching Taehyung scarf down a katsudon bowl, he goes over and over in his head why eros is a terrible concept for him. From a personal standpoint he’s nowhere near the concept of eros. Who would look at him and be sexually attracted? He certainly doesn’t have the body that Taehyung has. His face is too round and his eyes are too plain and his everything is too … average. 

Eros is something that causes you to lose all inhibitions, and there’s nothing about Jeongguk (in his opinion) that classifies him as the perfect embodiment of that. Taehyung on the other hand. Oh boy he embodied all the perfect parts of desire. When it came to him, Jeongguk was pretty sure that all ability to make any sane and reasonable decision flew out the window. What he wouldn’t give to have him bridge that space between them again, to have their lips so close that all he could do was give in and finally kiss him. What he wouldn--wait a minute. Maybe … maybe Taehyung is Jeongguk’s eros? The realization dawns on him so suddenly that he sits there stunned and feeling like an idiot. Of course. Of  _ course _ the silver-haired god sitting across from him is everything he’s ever desired and wanted. But how the hell do you tell him that? How the hell do you look your coach in the face and say that he’s the one thing the whole world that you desire more than anything and anyone? 

Well, you just don’t obviously. 

Jeongguk lived deep in a closet of denial, cloaking himself with plausible deniability and plugging his ears with a whispered litany of ‘nu-uh’ and ‘nononononono.’ 

Still, there must be something in his eyes because he’s gotten Taehyung’s attention and he starts to panic because he knows the question that’s coming. Think of something else, Jeongguk, think of something else that makes sense. Something else that makes you abandon all reason and logic and lust after it. His eyes flit around the room as he tries to zero in on something, anything that he can say when - 

“Have you discovered your eros, Jeongguk?” 

Shit, there it is. That deep, smooth voice that always seems to dip just an octave for Jeongguk, sending a shiver down his spine. 

“Uhhh...yep,” he says as his eyes land hurriedly on the pork katsudon bowl in Taehyung’s hand. “It’s, uh, pork katsudon bowls. Yep, that’s it. That’s what I desire most in the world.” He babbles almost incoherently to his own ears and his cheeks flush so red he looks like he could blend in with a bushel of tomatoes. But he didn’t give his real secret away, right? He didn’t let Taehyung see that the real source of his desire was, of course, sitting right in the very seat he occupied. 

Mission accomplished, Jeongguk. That was totally super slick. 

Except that the exasperated grumble coming from the mint-haired Yoongi at the other end of the table has him immediately doubting himself. As he should because honestly, the pork katsudon? Like sure, his mom’s pork cutlet bowls are pretty fantastic - but could he sound more like a glutton and an idiot? That’s basically the sentiment that passes over Yoongi’s lips after he’s done laughing like a maniac. Taehyung is quiet throughout the laughing, but watching Jeongguk as if trying to read him like some kind of book. 

“If  _ pork katsudon _ is what inspires you to skate the piece the way it was meant to be skated, Jeonggukkie, then I suggest you think about them  _ often _ and  _ habitually. _ You know, to help with the feel of the program.” 

There is something suggestive in Taehyung’s tone that Jeongguk cannot quite but his finger on. It almost feels like he is taunting him, like he knows that it isn’t pork cutlet bowls that inspire desire in him at all. Like he can see how much he wants him written clear as day all over his face. Not for the first time, Jeongguk wishes that he were better able to control his facial expressions. Unfortunately he has literally zero chill when it comes to Taehyung, it seems. 

⛸⛸

Practice over the next few days is intense and exhausting but Jeongguk finally feels like he’s making progress. The same cannot be said for poor Yoongi, unfortunately, as he is still struggling to find the emotional connection to the piece. An uneasy, awkward sort of camaraderie starts to form between the two skaters as they train and exercise together and take their meals at the same table every night. Yoongi doesn’t spend all of his free time insulting Jeongguk anymore, but that could just be because of how exhausted he is all the time. Yeah, it’s definitely that and certainly not because he’s starting to find the guy decent. 

Namjoon and Seokjin are an ever-present, encouraging duo throughout the course of their training. Giving pep talks and offering encouraging words, watching every day as the routines get better and better. Yoongi would find it frustrating and irritating if he wasn’t so damned exhausted. That’s all it is, exhaustion. It’s certainly not because he appreciates the way that Seokjin always has his water bottle handy, or the way that Namjoon always has a towel ready when he gets off the ice. 

It is not possible for Yoongi to be starting to care for them because there is only one person in the whole world that he cares about, and whose opinion matters to him. For as long as he can remember it’s always been his grandfather. Constantly supporting him, telling him how good he was, encouraging him to be the best because he  _ wants _ to not because he  _ has _ to. He has never felt any pressure to only succeed when it comes to his grandfather, instead feeling his overwhelming pride even when things did not go exactly as he thought they would. 

Thoughts of his grandfather are heavy in his mind when Jeongguk approaches him one day and asks for help learning a quad Salchow. Sure, he could say that it’s because he’s feeling nostalgic and missing his grandfather and that’s all. But he would be lying to himself. Because somewhere deep down in there he’s starting to care about Jeongguk and his stupid obsession with pork katsudon and his dumb face always making heart eyes at Taehyung. 

That doesn’t mean he has to admit that he cares about the stupid idiot, though. Especially when Taehyung finally makes his way to practice and sees them in the midst of practicing the jump Jeongguk wants to master so badly. 

“Oi, Taehyung, watch my routine!” He yells it in his usual, snarky voice as he waves Jeongguk off with a dismissive hand. 

For the first time since he’s started skating agape, he really focuses in on the thing that means unconditional love to him the most: his grandfather. He can feel the difference in the skate, can feel the way that his movements have more meaning and depth to them. And he can see the look in Taehyung’s face when he realizes that he’s found what drives him, and feels a triumphant surge of confidence. Taehyung is  _ definitely _ returning to Japan with him where he belongs. So what if there’s just a little bit of a pang of guilt when he thinks about leaving Jeongguk here alone? 

Feelings are so stupid. 

⛸⛸

“These are all the costumes I’ve ever worn in competition. You two can each pick one to wear for the showdown tomorrow.” 

Taehyung’s room is littered with suitcases and boxes, different outfits strewn all over the place as Jeongguk and Yoongi scour through them trying to find the perfect piece to wear that suits their programs the next day. 

“Don’t you dare pick something flashier than me,” Yoongi grumbles at Jeongguk, but there’s no real bite in his words. 

“Uh...Taehyung? I pick this one.” Jeongguk holds up his choice, which is dark and sparkly and is the first thing that he ever saw Taehyung compete in at the Junior World Championships. 

It’s like holding a piece of history, for Jeongguk, but it is also like connecting to something he never thought he’d be able to touch. It was in this outfit that he first felt his heart flutter with young attraction, and maybe that’s why it’s the perfect outfit for him to wear performing eros. Because nobody has ever made him feel desire the way that Taehyung has. 

⛸⛸

The day of the exhibition showdown dawns and there are a  _ lot _ of people that have come to see Jeongguk and Yoongi skate against one another. Jeongguk feels his nerves swell up inside of him when he sees how full the rink is - it’s been years since there were so many people filling the stands, and he knows they’re only here because of Taehyung. 

Taehyung. The only person that really matters at this point. His judging of the exhibition will determine if he stays in Korea with Jeongguk or returns to Japan with Yoongi. Part of Jeongguk feels sympathy for Yoongi because he knows how important it is to him that Taehyung return and help coach him through his senior debut. 

But. 

A larger part of him is not ready to let Taehyung go yet. Let’s be honest, probably ever. He’s not going to roll over that easily and just let him go - no, he’s going to fight until the bitter end. At least that way if he loses he will be able to say at least he did his very best. 

When Seokjin peeks his head into the locker room and calls for Yoongi, Jeongguk can’t help but smile a little at the way that his friend encourages the teenager, compliments him on his choice of outfit. He chose a costume famous from Taehyung’s early days too, with see-through paneling across the chest and down one leg. It suits him, Jeongguk thinks, as does the small smile that curves his lips as he gently swats Jin’s hands away from helping him straighten the shoulders and smooth the sleeves. It’s been nice watching the kid become more comfortable and let his guard down. The gruff, tough, punk-like exterior has crumbled away a little bit and they’re all starting to get a peek into the softer person that he is underneath.

Jeongguk hopes that after he returns to Japan - whatever the circumstances - that he does not lose that softer side of himself. 

Although he would normally avoid watching his competition, Jeongguk feels himself drawn to the arena because he wants to see how well Yoongi does. And yes, maybe he wants to see how much of a chance he actually has at beating him. Taehyung lingers near him and Jeongguk cannot help but sneak glances at him every now and again to see his reactions as well. 

The whole arena goes silent for a long moment before the music starts and there are shouts of good luck from the audience before it is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. And then the music starts and Yoongi glides across the ice like he was made for it. He spins and he twirls, all graceful long legs and elegant sweeping arms. His first jump is a triple axel and when he sticks the landing the audience erupts in congratulatory claps. As he transitions into a sit-spin, Jeongguk casts a glance around at those nearby and can see they are caught up in the moving performance. He is really embodying the ideal of agape and for a moment Jeongguk feels the cold grip of panic climbing up his throat. 

A triple toe loop follows a quadruple salchow and the audience erupts into a loud round of applause that tears Jeongguk from his thoughts and forces his attention back on the ice. Yoongi is proving himself to be not only a formidable opponent but also an ever-evolving creature, not allowing himself to fall into some typecast rut. He sails out of a quadruple toe loop and immediately launches into a series of short, staccato moves with his feet, drawing his eyes to the footwork he’s performing. A combination spin, his signature move, brings the routine to a close and Yoongi stands there panting as he stares at the ceiling. 

Jeongguk can feel something different in the air, and when he side glances Taehyung he can see he senses it too. There is something real and vulnerable in Yoongi all of a sudden and as the audience erupts in a cacophony of cheers, all Jeongguk can hear is the way that Taehyung yells across the ice to tell him how amazing he did. All he can see is the way that Yoongi doesn’t look as satisfied with his piece as he should be, and there’s something unspoken in his eyes as he skates across the ice and transitions up to the carpeted flooring. 

“Jeongguk, it’s your turn.” Taehyung’s deep voice breaks him from his thoughts and he blinks and is surprised to find him standing right in front of him. 

All of his fears and doubts come clawing back at him again and he scrambles to wrap his head around the possibility that this could be the last time that he gets to be this close to him. It could all be over if he doesn’t go out there and skate like it’s the most important thing he’s ever done. 

“Oh, Taehyungie … I’m going to do my very best. Please promise you’ll watch me.” Before he can stop himself he bridges the space between them and wraps Taehyung in a hug that is tight and desperate and makes it impossible to hide the way that he is trembling. Taehyung returns the hug, his chin pressing into Jeongguk’s shoulder as his nose brushes against the line of his neck. 

“Of course,” he promises in a quiet voice, his breath fanning out across Jeongguk’s skin and making him shiver. 

He can hear the audience cheering for him as he skates onto the ice, can feel all the eyes peering out at him as he waits for the music to start. It feels like the longest moment of his life and also the shortest as silence fills the arena and he is left with his thoughts. 

_ Who am I dancing for? I know who. _

His thoughts lead his eyes to find Taehyung’s bright blue ones as he pins him with a look that  _ screams _ desire, watches the way that the silver-haired man’s eyes widen just a little and his lips part as if in surprise. 

_ That’s right, Taehyung, I’m skating for only you. _

The first half of the program is filled with short, staccato dance movements that scream seduction with the way his hips twists and his hands dance their way down his body and then back up. He is known for his spins and his step sequences so it’s a smart choice to have him focus on them first, relying on his stamina to allow him to perform the jumps in the second half. The first is a spread eagle into a trip axel, which he lands with ease, causing the audience to clap. Every turn that he makes, his eyes come back to Taehyung. Every shift of his eyes brings him back to silver hair and blue eyes. 

Late into the night he’d gone to see Hoseok, had spent all night trying to perfect the routine. He wanted to be more feminine, wanted to be able to seduce with his dance moves. And if the look on Taehyung’s face is any indication, his extra practice paid off. It’s hard to gauge the look in the other man’s eyes from across the rink, but it’s impossible to miss the way that he leans against the wall and watches with rapt attention. 

When he steps out of his quadruple salchow he manages to stay on his feet by putting his hand out but internally he panics for a second. Every move that he makes is a driving force behind convincing Taehyung to stay, every glide across the ice a beckoning call for the other man, every jump a plea for him to not leave. If he messes one up, could it mess up the whole program? 

_ No, that’s stupid Jeongguk. Get it together, stop panicking. One missed jump won’t make you lose your charms so easily, keep seducing him. Keep giving him all you’ve got. _

The audience erupts into cheers when he lands the quadruple toe loop, followed by a triple toe loop and he feels the weight of it as he spins to a stop and tries to catch his breath. The routine was tough, probably the toughest that he’s ever done, and the crowd is going insane for him on his home turf. This is the Jeongguk that he should have been from the beginning, the one that was inspired by Taehyung at every turn. 

As always, his eyes are drawn to Taehyung who is waiting with open arms to hug him in congratulations and Jeongguk feels like his heart has never been so full. 

⛸⛸

Yoongi left before Jeongguk got off the ice, because watching the performance he just  _ knew. _ More importantly, watching Taehyung watching the performance … he just knew. The results were clear and he knew Taehyung would not be returning to Japan with him. So he left, without a word. 

He didn’t doubt that he was going to win the Grand Prix Final and beat Jeongguk, but he could see clear as day that Jeongguk improved exponentially with Taehyung as a coach. There was something that he seemed to find within himself at the encouragement of Taehyung. It wasn’t that Yoongi was soft or considerate, gross. It was more that he knew that he’d never get that kind of attention from Taehyung. Especially when the two idiots kept making stupid dumb heart eyes at each other while pretending they weren’t. 

Gross. 

Still, maybe he’ll miss being here in Korea and maybe he’ll miss the people. But you’ll never catch him telling them that. 

Feelings are disgusting. 

⛸⛸

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter will be up next week and will perhaps feature some new characters so keep an eye out! 
> 
> I love feedback so feel free to leave me a comment here, or come find me on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/TaekookPanda).


	4. On My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Jeongguk has Taehyung all to himself everything should be perfect, right? There's no competition for his attention, no worries that he'll disappear into the night to return to Japan. So...why does Jeongguk still feel so full of doubt and uncertainty? 
> 
> When Taehyung suggests that Jeongguk select his own music for his free skate program, it brings to the surface a lot of things that are difficult to deal with, things that Guk had previously pushed down where nobody but him could see them. Will he learn to communicate with Taehyung? Only time will tell. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Min Yoongi gets a new coach who adheres to a very rigid and rigorous training schedule. Who pushes him to let down his guard so that he can skate with emotion. Will he learn to accept that skating is more than just flawless technique and perfect execution?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! My goodness it's been a good long while since I updated this particular story. I am so, so sorry for the delay. Writing this chapter sort of took a backseat to an awful lot of things going on in my real life and it was difficult for me to get past the hump of writer's block that came along with those things. I am so pleased to have finally pushed it out and I'm really pleased with the development of the characters so far. 
> 
> If you've been following along thus far you have probably seen me talk about the fact that I have struggled a little because I want to make sure and pay homage to something that I love dearly (Yuri on Ice and BTS) while also making it my own. This chapter more than any of the three previous, I feel, has started to pull the most away from the original. The basic plot points are the same, but we see much more internal development between the characters. 
> 
> I hope that you love reading it, I would really love to hear from any of you that are also fans of both Yuri and BTS. Let me know what you think about my take on things, let me know how you feel about the story so far. (Especially if you've picked up on the little nuances I threw in that were specifically for Yuri fans. ;) ) 
> 
> This is the first piece of fan art that's ever been made for something that I've written and it's honestly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole life. The maknae of my little Twitter OT7 Fam [ Skully ](https://twitter.com/TheBlackSkully_) made me this most beautiful tribute piece. She is a **phenomenal** artist and deserves all of the recognition and praise. Please, please please go look at her work and fall in love with it, she is fantastic. Love you, dumpling, and thank you so much for this beautiful piece! 
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/6i8W9w6)

Jeongguk rolls over in bed, stretching his muscles as he starts the slow process of waking up. The sun filters in through the curtains and he squints his eyes in offense, trying to roll again only to be met with a face full of dog breath. Yeontan sprawls on one side of his pillow, tongue lolling out of his mouth and he’s so adorable but dog breath is  _ not _ adorable and again Jeongguk finds himself rolling over in bed. This time he gives a little kick of his feet, throwing a silent temper tantrum at the unfairness of it all. Everything is conspiring against him - the sun, the dog, the stupid need to get up early and train with Ta- _ -SHIT! _

His mini temper tantrum rolls him right out of bed with a loud thump as he fumbles around for where his phone is plugged in so that he can see the time and  _ holy hell he’s so late! _ Yeontan wakes up with a start when he throws the blanket back on the bed, his furry little head popping up from underneath as he watches Jeongguk run around the room in a hurry to pull on his clothes and stumble into his shoes without any of the grace he’d shown on the ice the day before. 

He scolds himself the entire way to the skating rink, cursing inwardly at his stupidity for not setting an alarm. Today is his first  _ official _ day of training with Taehyung and here he was the idiot that couldn’t even show up on time! 

Imagine his surprise when he skids across the ice still in his sneakers, bowing in apology to Taehyung, only to find him smiling understandingly. Reassuring him that rest is an important part of training too. 

⛸⛸

That first day of training doesn’t feel any different than it did when he’d been training for the competition against Yoongi, except that there’s no underlying fear that Taehyung will leave him at any given moment. He’s patient and understanding with him, commenting on the spins that he does and moving through the motions with him. A few times he demonstrates the moves himself and Jeongguk marvels at the fact that he’s lucky enough to not only have a coach here in his hometown with him every single day - but that the coach in question is Kim Taehyung himself. 

A real life dream come true that he’s not sure he ever wants to wake from. 

Still, he worries. He doubts himself even when Taehyung tells him repeatedly that he knows he has it in him. His jumps are not up to par - are certainly not on the same level as all the other skaters in his division. Every jump that he misses in practice drives that fact home, makes him doubt himself more. When he misses a jump in competition, it will take points away from his technical score and while he can close the gap by doing well in the performance aspects of his skate - he would prefer to be at the top of his abilities in  _ both _ categories. 

His inability to perform at the level he feels is expected of him casts a heavy shadow over his every practice and conversation with Taehyung. 

“You doubt yourself too much, Jeongguk.” Taehyung’s tone is low and quiet as they soak in the hot springs that night, taking advantage of the steam and the heat that seeps through to their bones. 

Of course I doubt myself, Jeongguk thinks. I’m not even half the skater you are, or Yoongi is. He doesn’t say that, though the doubt clouds his head, because it sounds pitiful and whiny in his mind and he’s loathe to share that with Taehyung. 

“I…I know.” He sighs, the sound as heavy as his heart. 

“Your body is music on the ice, Jeongguk. With every spin and turn that you execute, you create a song that only you can. That is why I was drawn to you, you know.” 

Taehyung is impossibly close again, crowding into Jeongguk’s space until it feels like he cannot breathe without inhaling his scent. His fingers fumble beneath the water and he is overwhelmed by how confident Taehyung is being so close, his lips nearly brushing Jeongguk’s ear. Some small, selfish part of him hopes that he does it because he feels the same magnet pull that Jeongguk does, wants to be near to him. The larger part of him, however, screams that Teahyung is just trying to mess with him, throw him off-balance, keep him guessing constantly. 

“You proved with the short program that you can perform a high-difficulty piece that maximizes the potential of your body and the effortless way you move across the ice. It truly is like watching art, Jeongguk. I wish you could see that when you watch the playbacks of yourself skating.” 

Jeongguk feels his cheeks flush and he is not sure if it’s the heat of the springs or the way that Taehyung’s lips barely brush the shell of his ear before disappearing as the other skater wades across the springs. He stretches out against the rocks leisurely and looks at Jeongguk with one cocked eyebrow. 

“I have an idea,” he says after a few minutes of waiting to see if Jeongguk has anything to say. “You should produce your next free program.” 

“W-waitwaitwait nonono my coach usually picks my music for the free skate!” Jeongguk fumbles over his words, caught off guard. He’s never picked his own music and frankly the idea  _ terrifies _ him. How is he supposed to know what kind of music to pick for the program that Taehyung wants to choreograph? How is he supposed to select just one song of the hundreds that he could choose from? 

“Hmm. That’s how  _ most _ coaches do it, you know? But I don’t want to be  _ most _ coaches, do I? I didn’t let Si-Hyuk pick all of my music for my programs, you know. And it was so freeing to be able to pick for myself, it allowed me to connect to the piece in a new way.” He runs a wet hand through his hair and the silver strands turn a dark gray. 

“I-I tried to choose my music once,” Jeongguk admits quietly. His brow furrows as he remembers when he’d brought the music to Seijin. The song had been composed by his good friend Jungwha and he’d felt really connected to it but … that creeping sense of self-doubt had wormed its way back into his heart. So when Seijin asked him if he was  _ really _ sure he wanted to skate to it, he’d folded like a house of cards and asked his coach to pick the song for him instead. 

“I lack confidence in myself,” he says with a sigh. Actively avoiding Taehyung’s gaze is easy - looking anywhere other than into those blue eyes that are full of understanding. He can’t bear to see the way that Taehyung’s expression softens with knowing. 

“Mmm. Well I am here to help you fix that, Jeonggukie,” Taehyung says with a sincere smile and a flirtatious wink that does nothing to help Jeongguk’s confidence but sure does have his heart pitter-pattering extra hard. 

⛸⛸

As much as Yoongi told himself that he hated thinking about everyone back in Korea … here he was reading a message from Seokjin and feeling … nostalgic? He’s not sure what the feeling is and to be honest he’s not entirely sure that he likes it, thankyouverymuch. 

Still. Maybe he misses everyone a little. Not like any of them have to know. 

Si-Hyuk doesn’t coach the way that Taehyung does. They both held him to impossibly high standards, which he appreciates - but Si-Hyuk focuses more on the technical side of things. He drills Yoongi through practices, making them unbearable as he yells and screams over and over again. 

Do better. 

Jump higher. 

Spin faster. 

His intentions are good, sincere. He wants to drive Yoongi to win gold, wants to help him achieve the goal he’s given up everything for. His methods simply lack … warmth. And before Yoongi would have told anybody that listened that  _ warmth _ was the last thing that he needed when he was training. 

But that was because he hadn’t known any better. 

Training with Taehyung and Jeongguk had been a vastly different experience. There were still high expectations, but he was praised just for trying instead of screamed at for failing. He was coaxed to open his heart and let emotions help him through the routine and found that he performed better for it. 

It wasn’t just training that was different either. It was the whole atmosphere. In Korea he’d had a family dinner every night - sometimes it was just with Taehyung and Jeongguk, other times everyone seemed to converge on the hot springs. Seokjin and Namjoon and Hoseok would come with the triplets and the atmosphere was warm and inviting and easy to fall into. Here in Japan … Si-Hyuk does not believe in family dinners. The other athletes that he trains are not terribly interested in getting to know Yoongi and the feeling is predominantly mutual. 

Seokjin’s text message makes Yoongi nostalgic. It includes a few pictures - the triplets on the ice, one where Jin is kissing Namjoon’s cheek and he looks surprised, and Taehyung and Jeongguk skating side-by-side caught candidly. 

Maybe he misses them a little more than a  _ little. _

⛸⛸

Jisoo watches Yoongi from the opposite side of the arena, wrinkling her nose at the way that he stares at his phone while he stretches. She doesn’t  _ hate _ him but she hates the way that Si-Hyuk seems to favor him. It’s not like he’s her direct competition - they are in separate divisions - but he steals their coach’s attention and then has the audacity to act like it’s an inconvenience for him. 

She’s in the middle of stretching and grumbling to herself when Haruka plops down unceremoniously beside her and starts stretching as well. 

“Whew, if looks could kill Yoongi would be dead right now Jisoo.” Haruka teases her, glancing from her to the mint-haired skater and back again with raised eyebrows. “What did he do now?” 

Jisoo inwardly groans as she rolls her eyes at Haruka, turning so that she’s no longer facing Yoongi. Her legs are straight out in front of her and she points her toes as she reaches to touch them with her fingertips. 

“It’s stupid that he got to run away to Korea trying to drag Taehyung home and when he failed and came back with his tail tucked between his legs Si-Hyuk just accepts him back like he didn’t just break all the rules. If  _ I _ had pulled a stunt like that, I’d be benched and we both know it.” 

It was illogical for her to be jealous of Yoongi, but jealousy is hardly logical. 

Haruka snorts and rolls her eyes as she stretches her legs out to either side of her and reaches to touch the toes of one foot. “ _ Please, _ we would all be in trouble. You know he’s the golden boy, though. He’s going to be Si-Hyuk’s next Taehyung.” 

Jisoo is older than both Yoongi and Haruka and she’s never wanted to be the  _ next Taehyung _ but she does have big dreams of winning the gold and standing on the podium and knowing she made everyone around her proud. And it’s not that Yoongi interferes with that, exactly, just that he’s so perfect at literally everything it’s a little hard to  _ not _ hate him a little. 

“Whatever. I don’t care.” 

Haruka whips her head around to look at Jisoo with an expression that clearly screams she does not, in the least, believe her. The other girl is younger than her, a teenager like Yoongi, but she is oddly perceptive. Thankfully, she seems smart enough to keep her disagreement to herself. 

“Okay but listen I’m glad he came back because  _ look. at. him.”  _ There’s a wistful quality to Haruka’s voice and Jisoo knows it well. There are many girls that swoon over Yoongi. It has her rolling her eyes hard. 

She lets her gaze follow Haruka’s only to find Yoongi standing along the barricade behind the ice. He’s got his phone in his hands, elbows leaning on the barricade while he stands in a perfectly straight split. Toe pointed and all. His form is impeccable and Jisoo feels a stab of jealousy because he makes it look so  _ easy. _ He’s unreasonably limber and she’d think he was showing off - if he ever bothered to pay attention to the rest of them. 

“Puh-lease, you  _ know _ the only thing straight about him is his splits right?” She snorts with disbelief in Haruka’s direction. 

“Nuh-uh, you’re lying! How would you possibly know that?!” Haruka turns to glare at her as they both stand up, stretching arms into the air to extend their spines. 

Jisoo pauses in her stretch to blink at Haruka, trying to ascertain if the teenager is actually serious or not. She can see by the flush of her cheeks and the irritation in her eyes that apparently she is and it makes her collapse into a fit of giggles. 

“Are you … are you  _ serious _ right now, Haruka?” She presses a hand to her middle as her giggles finally calm enough that she can address the other girl. Her other hand comes up and she ticks off a finger for each point that she makes. 

“He literally told us during that one game of truth or dare that we got him to play that he used to have the  _ biggest _ crush on Taehyung.” 

One finger up, lips twitching with want for another round of giggles when Haruka huffs an irritated breath. 

“He’s  _ never _ had a girlfriend. I can’t remember a time I’ve even seen him  _ look _ at a girl with any kind of heart eyes.” 

A second finger up, lips pressing together into a thin line to stop the giggles from erupting as Haruka crosses her arms over her chest with a petulant pout on her lips. 

“And. Don’t you remember the way he kept watching Park Jimin at camp a few years ago? He literally could not take his eyes off of him and it can’t be because that Jimin kid was talented because he had nothing on Yoongi even then.” 

A third and final finger goes up and finally she lets herself fall into another fit of giggles as Haruka grumbles about that not being any real  _ evidence _ before stomping her feet and storming off in a huff. 

When Yoongi glances toward her quizzically, Jisoo just lifts a free hand to wiggle her fingers at him whilst donning an innocent-as-can-be expression. 

⛸⛸

The next afternoon at practice Si-Hyuk keeps careful watch over Yoongi as he practices. His time in Korea changed him - made him more driven, it seems. Still, there is an element that it is missing - and that is where Hyuna comes in. She is his ex-wife and a former prima ballerina and principal dancer. An all around phenomenal performer turned choreographer. 

For awhile she stands next to him and watches Yoongi practice on the ice, making comments as she scribbles notes in a small book held between gloved fingers. 

“He has good form, but it can be better. You have been pushing him too hard in the technical side of things, Si-Hyuk. If he is to be a  _ winner _ he will need the  _ heart. _ ” It’s the same lesson Taehyung kept giving Yoongi back in Korea, the same thing he’d been reciting here over the years. 

He knows they’re right - but there is a depth of emotion that he cannot grasp because he has never been an artist in the way that they are. He has always coached, but has never performed and so his heart is not as connected to the music and the moves as theirs are. It has done Yoongi a great disservice over the years, though, and he knows it. 

Sees it in the way that he is perfect in all technical aspects of the performance, but cannot seem to connect on a deeply personal level. There is a piece that is locked away, that the young skater will need to find the key to in order for him to reach his highest potential. His stubbornness got in the way, before. But since his return from Korea something has changed. He seems more willing and more driven and Si-Hyuk is man enough to know that he cannot help him. 

Hyuna can, though. And he knows that the determination set on her face is a sure sign that she won’t stop until she does. 

Starting with the choreography for his free skate. 

⛸⛸

Jeongguk flops down onto a bench with his ice skates still on, throwing an arm over his eyes as he lets out a frustrated sigh. 

“I’m struggling, Seokjin,” he admits with a groan. 

Jin moves to help him untie his skates, pulling one foot into his lap and working methodically over the laces. The blade guards are on the skates so once he has a skate completely unlaced, he widens the neck of the shoe and then hooks his fingers along the underside of the blade to gently work it off Jeongguk’s foot. And then he moves on to the next. 

“Mmm, I imagine you are. You’ve always struggled to assert yourself, Jeongguk. This isn’t really all that different - choosing your own music for the free program takes careful consideration. You’re kind of an overthinker.” There’s affection in his tone as he starts to gently massage one of Jeongguk’s calves. 

“I knoooooow.” It comes out whiny even to Jeongguk’s ears but he can’t help himself. “I just...ugh, it’s so hard to pick something that feels right. I thought I had something but Taehyung was unimpressed with it. He says he wants it to have more  _ heart _ . He says we’ll know it when we hear it but … but what if we don’t? What if we never find it and we can’t choreograph a winning program and he leaves an- OW!” 

He slaps a hand over the back of his knee which is throbbing because Seokjin just pinched it hard. Rubbing at the sore spot, he glares up at his friend who has started massaging his calf again as if nothing happened. 

“Tch, don’t look at me like that. You are too much in your own head and you’re starting to spiral. You’re going to find the right music and you’re going to have a beautiful program if you just stop letting yourself panic so much. You’re not the only one struggling right now, you know.” 

That seems to get Jeongguk’s attention because his leg goes tense in Jin’s hold as he pulls himself up onto his elbows to look at him with raised eyebrows. 

“I’m not? Is Taehyung struggling too? Ugh, I’m probably making him suffer with all of this hemming and hawing over what song to choose. And don’t forget how terrible I am at my jumps! He’s being nice when he’s patient with me but I know it’s frustrating for hi- OW! Stop that!” 

Seokjin gives his head a shake, pushing one of Jeongguk’s legs off his lap so that he can work his fingers over his other calf. 

“I’ll stop when you stop,” he says, a little bite to his words. He  _ hates _ listening to Jeongguk talk down about himself and he’s getting to the point that he’s fed. up. “Anyways, no it’s not Taehyung you doofus. It’s Yoongi. I’ve been texting him since he left and he says that Si-Hyuk brought in his ex-wife who used to be a prima ballerina. She’s choreographing Yoongi’s free skate and apparently she’s even more demanding than her ex-husband is. He’s on a  _ very _ strict schedule.” 

Jin doesn’t comment that it makes his heart happy that Yoongi is texting him back and opening up, but it’s clear in his eyes. Though they were together for a short time he feels a strong connection to the kid. Maybe because he sees something of himself back in the day, maybe because he reminds him of Jeongguk when they were younger. Whatever the case, it’s good for Yoongi to have somebody that he can open up to - especially if everything that Taehyung has told them about the environment they train in is true. 

Which he assumes is because Taehyung has no reason to lie. 

“Oh,” Jeongguk says lamely, pressing his lips together in a thin line. “A prima ballerina is choreographing his program? That’s interesting. You know, Taehyung choreographed many of his own skating programs. They say that sometimes he even had new music written just so that he could tell the story that he wanted. Uuuughhhh, how I am supposed to compete with that, Jin?” 

Jin regards Jeongguk is silence, watching the way that he flops backwards again and throws both hands over his face. He chuckles, the sound reverberating deep in his chest, as he pushes the skater’s other leg off his lap. 

“You don’t have to compete with him, idiot. He’s on your side now, remember?” 

Jeongguk mumbles something incoherent into his hands and scrubs his fingers over his face before he’s gathering up his stuff to head home. 

⛸⛸

When Jeongguk had gone to university and was training with Seijin, he’d met Yugyeom and they’d become fast friends. It was while they were roommates that he’d found Jungwha and she’d composed the musical piece for him that could have been the soundtrack to one of his free skates if only he’d had the nerve to stand his ground. 

He’s listened to it over and over again and though it’s beautiful he knows there’s something wrong with it. It is … it’s exactly what he asked for. A musical culmination of his entire skating career. Except his skating career hasn’t exactly been stellar has it? Maybe that’s the problem - it is disappointing because it embodies the disappointing story of his athletic career. 

Settled at his desk with his computer open in front of him, he pulls his earbuds out and hits call on Yugyeom’s phone number. When his friend’s face filled the screen he couldn’t help but smile. 

“Hey, Yugyeom. Long time no talk.” 

Yugyeom lit up, his face brightening with a smile. “Oh Jeongguk, hey! How are you? What is it like training with  _ the _ Kim Taehyung? I got his autograph last year, you know. And a selfie!” 

Jeongguk can see by the way the rink seems to be moving behind Yugyeom that he’s skating while holding his phone. 

“Oh, uh, it’s great. Really. I was actually calling because I was wondering if you still had a way to contact Jungwha? I was hoping I could get her to tweak my music for me?” 

“Ah, yeah I might be able to,” Yugyeom says. “I heard a rumor that you were producing your own free skate for a change - seems like Taehyung is really doing you some good, Guk.” Yugyeom knew all about the embarrassing crush he had on Taehyung - their dorm room had been littered with poster after poster of the guy after all. 

It’s easy to fall into the pattern of small talk and catching up, the call stretching well into the evening - through the tail end of Yugyeom’s practice and even on his trek back to his apartment with his gym bag thrown over his shoulder. It feels like old times, like late nights staying up in the dormitories talking about the different training techniques they’d gone over with Seijin. 

Still, Jeongguk goes to sleep that night with doubt lingering in his mind and guilt heavy on his conscience. Because he was meant to be something greater by now - that was the goal for him wasn’t it? What his parents wanted for him, what Hobi wanted for him, what the entire city of Busan wanted for him. He’d let them all down and here he was training with literally the greatest skater in the whole world and he couldn’t even figure out what kind of music he wanted for his free routine. 

What a failure. 

⛸⛸

Training with Hyuna is utter and complete  _ hell.  _ Si-Hyuk’s intensity had nothing on Hyuna’s strict guidelines and stern guidance. She watched him with narrowed eyes, always delivering criticism  _ before _ praise. The moments that were not filled with rigorous training were filled with nonstop lessons on how to erase the person that he was and become the person that she felt sure he was meant to be. It was draining on all possible levels and every night he fell into bed exhausted and spent. 

Every morning when he got up, though, he could see the small improvements. The way that he held his chin just a little higher when he entered the dance studio, the way that he pulled his shoulders back and opened his hips a little more when he practiced on the ice. The way that the wall inside started to crumble bit by bit so that he could access the well of emotions he’d grown so used to blocking off and hiding. 

“It’s too hard,” he said one afternoon while he was bent over with hands on his knees, gasping out the words. 

Not the jumps or the spins or the choreography. That he could do in his sleep easily, skating through each step and trick with ease. No, it was the way that she wanted him to draw on his emotions when he skated. The way she wanted him to completely reinvent himself in order to get stronger. To become someone that he was unfamiliar with, to embrace a side of himself that he’d never really known. 

“What a ridiculous notion.” Everything about her was rigid. From the way she stood with her shoulders pulled back and her arms crossed, to the tone of her voice strict and certain as it floated across the ice toward him. 

“This whole thing is ridiculous,” he grumbles, wishing almost immediately that he could get the words back. It’s not really ridiculous, but he’s frustrated and feels blocked, which  _ never _ happens to him. Skating has always come easy, and has always been second nature. Ironically, he’s worked hard to make sure that it never  _ feels _ like work. Skating for Hyuna feels like work, though, and it makes something new and foreign bubble in his chest. Makes him doubt himself and he hates it. Hates himself for doubting. 

“You must reinvent yourself, Min Yoongi. History has shown us that those who can reinvent themselves time and time again are the strongest amongst us. The most adaptable. Do you wish to remain stagnant and still in a pond that is ever-flowing around you? No, you do not. And even if you do, I will not allow it. Again.” There is no question to her voice, but neither is there anger. Each word is carefully punctuated with purpose and meaning, dripping with her disappointment at his inability to push himself further than ever. 

He can handle anger, expects it … thrives off of it. Si-Hyuk has taught him to expect explosive outbursts and loud yelling and he has come to use it as a tool to propel himself. When he’d first experienced something different with Taehyung, it had come as a shock to him. Made him want to dig his heels in and push back. The only thing that had propelled him into action then was the way that he admired Taehyung, had been dreaming of having him choreograph a piece for him since his youth. 

It’s different with Hyuna, though. Where Si-Hyuk was all harsh words and angry expressions, and Taehyung as kind words and gentle expectations … Hyuna is something else entirely. While her face manages to remain placid and collected, her voice drips with … disappointment? And Yoongi finds himself wanting to erase that disappointment, prove himself to her so that she can only be proud of him. It is similar to the feeling he has about his grandfather, wanting only to make him proud. He finds himself wanting the same thing with Hyuna, wanting to see the pride in her eyes instead of the disappointment that he finds there now when he looks at her with incredulity. 

He huffs and grumbles to himself as he skates across the ice to the center of the rink, positions himself as he waits for the music to come on. But he skates, pours as much of himself into it as he’s capable of doing right now. 

Which isn’t as much as Hyuna would like to see. Not nearly enough of the heart that lies hidden beneath, wrapped in a layer of ice nearly as thick as the one that he skates on. She knows that he has it in him, can sense it simmering so close to the surface. She just has to find the right way to bring it out of him. Undoing all of the walls that Si-Hyuk forced him to build is proving difficult. But she has never shied away from a challenge. 

He tries, though. He skates and he tries and she praises him in her own way, clapping her hands a few times and giving him an approving nod before she points out where he needs improvement and then makes him do it again. 

And again. 

As many times as it takes for him to realize that he doesn’t have to have those carefully erected walls around himself anymore. As many times as it takes for him to realize that he  _ deserves _ to win and not just because he  _ wants _ to. As many times as it takes. 

⛸⛸

Jeongguk slips into something of a depressive state, self doubt and self loathing living in the forefront of his mind. Lingering there too is guilt. He feels guilty that he cannot be the person that he knows everyone wants him to be, feels guilty that he let everyone down. Which in turn leads to him disliking himself a great deal. 

It is a vicious cycle and one he cannot seem to break. 

“I wish you could just see yourself the way everyone around you sees you,” Taehyung says to him after practice. 

The way that his lips are pressed into a thin, displeased line immediately makes Jeongguk think that he’s done something wrong. Doubt starts poking at him, pointing out all the ways that he did things wrong during practice. All the times he’s said things that might have upset Taehyung. The familiar litany of ‘you don’t deserve him’ repeats in his head over and over and he can’t take it. 

Three days go by like that. Three days and nights of him actively avoiding Taehyung at every turn except for during practice. They do not eat together, they do not hang out together. Not that Taehyung doesn’t offer - though Jeongguk figures it is because he feels bad for him. Is just trying to be nice and take pity on him. He doesn’t even deserve that. 

On the fourth day he’s sitting in bed wallowing and generally feeling sorry for himself (when is he not these days, honestly?) when Taehyung bursts in and grabs his wrist, yanking him from the bed.

“We’re going to the beach,” he says matter of factly, and doesn’t give Jeongguk any chance to argue with him. Nor does he let go of his wrist the entire way there, fingers warm and insistent against his skin. 

Yeontan comes along, trotting at their feet and never straying far and Jeongguk lets himself relax a little bit in Taehyung’s hold. Lets his arm go a little less rigid, lets his feet stop shuffling and start taking more purposeful steps. The muscles in his shoulders and his back start to ease out some as they get closer to the sand and the waves and Jeongguk let himself fall into a different sort of pattern of thought for a second. A wishful line of thinking. 

Wondering what it would be like to gently pull his wrist free of Taehyung’s hold only to slip their fingers together, palms clasping close to one another. Wondering what it would be like to lean a little closer, making the space between them nonexistent. Despite all of his very best efforts these last few weeks, he has been unable to get his crush out of his head. And the way that Taehyung lingers extra close, the way that he’s always so touchy, the way that he teases with almost-caresses of his lips? Legit not helping the cause. 

The cause being ‘stop crushing on Taehyung’ obviously. 

It’s early morning when they arrive at the beach, the wind blowing in off the ocean making it chilly. They’ve settled on the sand with Yeontan between them and both of them pet him idly. Every so often their fingers will brush beneath the cover of his long fur and Jeongguk feels electricity zip through him. Side-eyes Taehyung to see if his touch has the same effect on him, feels silly for thinking so when there appears to be no outward signs from the other skater. Of course there isn’t - stop being a dummy Jeongguk, he tells himself. Despite all of the signs that Taehyung has been giving him - there is literally zero chance that the other man is  _ actually _ interested in him. Especially with the fact that he could have absolutely anyone in the world that he wanted. It does throw Jeongguk off a little that he seems to be extra flirty, though. He wonders what the motive is, though? Because he has no previous experience to measure Taehyung’s behavior against - he’s unsure if this is just how he is with … everyone? 

Except that he wasn’t like this with Min Yoongi. Touchy, perhaps. Willing to offer hugs and give a cuddle yes. But the way that he is with Jeongguk is … it’s different in a way that he can’t quite put a finger on. He’s convinced it’s just normal behavior, though. 

They sit there in the sand in relative silence for awhile and Taehyung takes his time staring out at the ocean, soaking in the atmosphere. He considers scooping Yeontan into his lap so that he can scoot closer to Jeongguk, tuck an arm around his waist. How badly he wants to just press a reassuring kiss to his shoulder and tell him everything is going to be fine. How much he’d like to wipe the self doubt out of his mind, erase it and replace it with thoughts of certainty and surety. Truthfully, though, what Jeongguk’s going through is something that he has to deal with on his own. No matter how badly Taehyung wishes he could take it away or make it easier. 

Self-reflection is difficult because it is a solitary thing. It’s finding value in yourself because of  _ yourself _ and not because of someone else. So while Taehyung wishes that he could shower Jeongguk with all the love and affection and compliments and praise that he deserves … he knows that the other man has to discover these things for himself. Learn to love  _ himself. _

There is also the tiny, minute, infuriatingly frustrating fact that Jeongguk seems one hundred percent absolutely and wholly  _ unaffected _ by all of Taehyung’s flirting. Which is really odd because he’s been pretty blatantly obvious about it, hasn’t he? How many times has he gotten so close he could have just kissed Jeongguk? How badly did he want to each of those times? Even the short walk here to the beach had been agony because all he’d wanted was to hold Jeongguk’s hand, winding their fingers together. He hadn’t been able to convince himself to shift his grip though, too afraid of letting his wrist go and finding Jeongguk pulling his hand back toward his own body. Here he was, Kim Taehyung, too nervous to hold Jeongguk’s hand but too much of a coward to let go of his wrist and lose the chance at any physical contact at all. 

The truth of the matter is with just one sign from Jeongguk he’d either stop his flirting altogether or just hold the boy’s hand and kiss him senseless already. Except that there are  _ no signs. _ Instead there is radio silence, and it is maddening because there is no way to know what direction is the right one. 

What a pair they are. 

“I struggle a lot with believing in myself,” Jeongguk says, breaking the silence. He’s staring straight ahead out at the ocean, both of his legs pulled up against his chest. Resting his chin on his knees he lets out a big sigh and continues before Taehyung can stop him. “I also struggle with not wanting to appear … weak? I want to be strong for everyone around me, you know? But lately I can’t help but feel like I’m failing at even that.” 

“Jeonggukkie…” Taehyung pipes up then, frowning when Jeongguk shakes his head and barrels on, not allowing him to reassure him. 

“I failed at the Grand Prix Finals. I let everyone down, you know? I let  _ myself _ down. When Yoongi found me in that bathroom crying my eyes out like a baby? When he told me that I should just quit before I embarrassed myself more? He was right, Taehyung. I was doing nothing but making a massive fool of myself, trying to succeed in a field that is full of better, more accomplished skaters. I thought it was over and I’d given up completely but then I came home. And everyone here has been so understanding, so considerate. And I realized that maybe what I perceived as their expectations were just constraints I was putting on myself.” 

Silence filters between them finally as Jeongguk stops talking, turning his head to find Taehyung looking at him with understanding in his eyes and empathy on his face. 

“There is nothing weak or less-than about you, Jeongguk. Nobody thinks that, I promise you.” Not even Yoongi, is what he almost says. But the relationship between Yoongi and Jeongguk is tenuous at best, a carefully woven strand of friendship barely tying them together at this point. They are more similar on the inside than either of them realizes or is willing to admit. “What is it specifically that you need from me, Jeongguk? How can I help you?” 

It’s a question he probably should have asked from the get-go, but the truth is that he’s just stumbling through this coaching thing. Learning as he goes. Stumbling in some places but gliding smooth in others. 

“I..that’s not what I-you…” Jeongguk stutters over his words and inwardly curses himself because honestly, Jeongguk get. it. together. “I don’t need anything specifically from you,” he finally manages to get out smoothly after several deep breaths and silent pep talks. “I’ve always looked up to you, Taehyung. That’s why … that’s why I’ve been trying to hide away from you the last few days. Because I didn’t  _ want _ you to see my shortcomings. I realize that’s probably wrong because you’re not just my idol anymore, but also my coach and seeing my shortcomings would help you train me better. But…” He shrugs, hands going palm-up in the air. 

Taehyung resists the urge to reach out and tickle underneath Jeongguk’s chin even though he really wants to. To ease the other skater’s mind, to relax his muscles, to let him know that he’s more than just a coach, more than just some idolized skater on a poster or on the television. 

“Well, I’m going to try to get better about it,” Jeongguk hurries on. “And I’ll make it up to you with my skating, so I don’t want you to go easy on me alright?” Standing now, he offers his hand out to Taehyung, doe eyes wide and almost pleading with how he looks down at him. 

“Of course I won’t take it easy on you, Jeonggukie.” The nickname rolls off his tongue easily as he takes the other man’s hand, standing with his help so that they are invading one another’s space. He searches Jeongguk’s gaze then, still looking for one of those elusive signs. “That’s how I show my love, you know.” 

It’s little comments like that, the way that Taehyung’s light up when he says that, that have Jeongguk’s heart hammering hard and unsteady against his chest. If only he knew what he was doing to him, if only he could feel the way that his pulse races whenever he’s never. Maybe it’s better that he doesn’t know - how awkward would their skater/coach relationship be if Taehyung knew the way that Jeongguk really felt about him? 

No, it’s better this way. 

Later that night he receives an email from Jungwha saying that she’ll redo the music for him. And when she asks him to email her back with some new inspiration, some new details he’d like put into the music … he doesn’t fail to mention Taehyung. The way that he always meets him halfway, how patient he is with him, how much he’s helped him to open up and start to become the skater that he wants to be. The man that he wants to be.

Realises that it’s gone far beyond a simple crush at this point. Far beyond just idolizing your favorite skater on the television. Realises that he’s falling in love with Taehyung and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. 

⛸⛸

A week later and the music finally arrives sometime in the middle of the night when Jeongguk should be sleeping but he is up messing around on his computer. Taehyung  _ is _ sleeping but that does not stop Jeongguk from bursting into his room and shoving earbuds in his ears, his laptop balanced on one arm. 

Expression hopeful. Excited. Expectant. 

Taehyung’s face morphs from sleepy indifference to wide eyes and an open-mouthed smile and Jeongguk feels his heart burst. Almost closes the space between them and kisses him with his excitement. 

_ Almost. _

It’s not until he’s scrambled off his bed and back to his room that he allows himself to focus on the fact that Taehyung hadn’t been wearing a shirt when he’d barged in there. It’s not like he hasn’t seen him without a shirt before - Tae has insisted on sharing a bed with him at least a couple of times since coming to Korea and often sleeps shirtless. Still, there is something about having seen him sleepy and shirtless, silver hair mussed around his face that does something to Jeongguk. Stokes a fire that is already burning, urging it to turn into a raging inferno. 

Getting to sleep that night is difficult, but waking up the next morning is easy. 

They spend the morning going over the technical details of the free program - where they will place jumps, the best way to utilize Jeongguk’s phenomenal stamina and his ability to reserve big jumps for the end of his programs. He vibrates with his excitement the entire morning but somehow manages to form coherent answers and thoughtful responses. And then finally, before he knows it, it’s time to get out on the ice. 

“Oh, Jeongguk, did you change the theme of the music when you asked her to redo it?” Taehyung is taking off his jacket and shoes, sitting to slip into his skates and lacing them tightly. 

Jeongguk is busy putting on his own skates and feels his face flush pink, the blush going all the way up over his ears and down his neck. Still, he settles his gaze on Taehyung’s face, refusing to back down from his decision. 

“Yes. It is now ‘on my love.’ I thought …” Here’s where he stumbles, trying to find the words to explain why he picked the new theme for the music. Not knowing how to tell Taehyung that he’s a big part of the inspiration for the new music, for the new Jeongguk. For helping him come out of his shell. 

“That’s the best theme,” Taehyung reassures him and Jeongguk watches the way that his mouth stretches into a wide, boxy smile and his eyes curve into crescents and feels warm. Happy. 

Skating through the routine feels good. Feels right. He glides across the ice, feeling each of the movements deep in his heart. Hopes that he’s conveying all of the emotions that he feels into each of his moves, catches Taehyung’s face a few times and sees him pleased. Impressed. Moved. 

Feels pride swell in his chest when he comes to an end and Taehyung claps for him, smiling his big smile once more before gently pointing out where he could improve and instructing him to go through it again. 

⛸⛸

That night the Grand Prix assignments are announced and everyone gathers at the hot springs to have a little congratulatory celebration dinner for Jeongguk. For awhile he’s content to sit and watch the others around him. The way the triplets are trying to explain to his parents and his sister the logistics of the Grand Prix Final and the assignments each skater was given. The way that Hoseok and Taehyung are deep in conversation with Seokjin and Namjoon. He watches them and appreciates being surrounded by his family and the people in his life who have become like family. 

He is endlessly thankful for them. 

Of course it’s Taehyung that breaks is silent reverie, sliding into the seat beside him on the couch. Filling up his space so that their bodies are lined up - hip to hip, thigh to thigh. Jeongguk feels his heart speed up, wonders if it is so loud that everybody can hear it - it thunders like galloping horses in his ears. 

“Shouldn’t you be celebrating, Gukkie? Your assignments are great. I know you’re probably nervous about going up against Yoongi, but you shouldn’t be. You already bested him once.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t have the heart to burst Taehyung’s bubble of positivity - tell him that he’s pretty sure him beating Yoongi was a fluke. A stroke of good luck. An event that is unlikely to happen again. Somewhere deep inside too though, he is trying to convince himself to stop with the negative self-talk. So he doesn’t say it, and he tries very hard not to think it. Let himself just fall into the moment with Taehyung on the couch beside him in the here and now.

“I  _ am _ celebrating,” he says insistently, turning his head to show Taehyung the big smile on his face. “I get to see Yugyeom at the China Cup, which is really exciting. And when the Rostelem Cup comes up...well, I’ll just give it my all and that’s the best I can do, right?” 

For a minute Taehyung looks like he might argue. But then he just smiles and nods along with Jeongguk, shifting a hand to press affectionately against the largest part of his thigh. Lets it linger perhaps a few minutes too long. Jeongguk doesn’t mind. Taehyung is glad that’s enough answer for him because he’s worried if he opens his mouth all the secrets of his feelings will suddenly fall out. How difficult it is to be this close to Jeongguk, to see the way that his eyes shine brighter than all the stars in the night sky, to watch the way his face brightens with his smile. And not tell him that he absolutely irrevocably, completely loves him.

“You know, Taehyung, this will be the first time I’ve competed in the Grand Prix Final where you weren’t part of the line up. Isn’t that weird?” Jeongguk looks unsure all of a sudden and Taehyung wonders what part of the conversation he missed before this. What the other skater said that slipped right past him while he was admiring the round of his cheek and the length of his lashes. 

“Hmm? Oh, that’s right. Well, it was bound to happen at some point, right? I’m happy to be there as your coach, Jeonggukie. I’m excited to see you do well.” There’s nothing but honesty in Taehyung’s eyes, sincerity in his voice and Jeongguk isn’t sure how much more he can take. Maybe he leans fractionally closer. 

Namjoon and Seokjin pick that exact moment to join the conversation and thank goodness they do because it snaps both Jeongguk’s and Taehyung’s attention to them instead of each other. Taehyung’s hand still lingers on Jeongguk’s thigh, squeezing lightly. Reassuringly. Long fingers splayed out over the fabric of his pants, thumb rubbing absent-minded circles. 

“Yah, I wonder how many people are going to be upset to see Taehyung return as Jeongguk’s coach. Not that you don’t deserve to have him as a coach, Guk, just I know how skating fans can be.” Namjoon winces a little as Seokjin elbows him in the ribs, grumbling at his husband quietly. 

“Don’t you worry about anybody else, Jeongguk. You just worry about you and forget everyone else, okay? You’re going to do  _ amazing _ , I just know it.” 

Taehyung is finding it very hard to concentrate on the conversation when he can feel the way that Jeongguk’s leg muscles tenses with each graze of his thumb along the outside of his thigh. Finds that it takes an awful lot of concentration not to look back at Jeongguk, focus on the way that his lips move when he forms them around words. Forces himself to think about anything, absolutely anything other than what it would be like to kiss Jeongguk.

“They’re right,” he hears himself agreeing, wonders how he manages to not just blurt out how adorable Jeongguk looks tonight. All the time, really. “You should only focus on you and your goal to skate your very best. Everything else can just fall away.” 

Jeongguk forces his gaze to Namjoon and Seokjin, hoping that he looks normal. Hopes they can’t see the way that his cheeks and his ears and his neck are warm with his blush, his mind a myriad of thoughts at the way that Taehyung’s hand is still on his thigh. Has made his leg it’s new home, and doesn't appear to be moving on anytime soon. Not that he minds. Not even the teeniest tiniest bit. It can live there now, forever attached to him. Especially if Taehyung continues to move his thumb in tiny little circles like that. 

Namjoon and Seokjin have both said something but Jeongguk realizes that he’s missed it. Thankfully Taehyung seems to be paying attention which is good. Does he realize the way that he’s short-circuiting Jeongguk’s brain with the press of his hand? Does he see the way that his breath catches, the way that it’s hard to breathe, the way that he can’t seem to gather his thoughts into anything but a jumble of incoherent words in his head? If he does, he sure doesn’t let it show. 

“Oh, uh I-I’m not worried. I didn’t force Taehyung to come be my coach.” He sort of mumbles out his answer because there  _ is _ uncertainty in the back of his mind. There  _ is _ worry about what the fan, and the other skaters, will think of him. Yoongi had made no secret of the way he’d felt about the fact that Taehyung gave up skating in order to coach Jeongguk. There were no doubt other skaters that felt that way, right? Other skaters that would resent him for taking Taehyung away from skating? 

Still, he didn’t  _ force _ Taehyung to do anything, and the other skater has proven time and again that though he has every chance and opportunity to leave - he chooses to stay. And that, more than anything else, speaks volumes. 

“Before you can go to the Cup of China you have to compete in the domestic qualifying competitions, though because of your loss in last year’s Nationals.” Hoseok’s voice is surprisingly gentle. Like he wants to remind Jeongguk but does not want to break his spirit. Not after watching Taehyung work so hard to help build it back up again. 

“Oh, that’s right,” Jeongguk says. Taehyung watches him, waiting to see if he becomes crestfallen. He squeezes his thigh gently when he sees his expression fall a little, offers a reassuring smile when he glances his way. 

“It’ll be a piece of cake for our Jeonggukie, hm?” Jeongguk’s blush darkens because there’s something about Taehyung’s tone of voice, the way that it drops an octave, that hits him right in the gut. 

“R-right,” Jeongguk squeaks out, clearing his throat as he ducks his head. 

“Oh, Choi Soobin from Ansan will be at your first competition too,” Seokjin says suddenly. “Didn’t you compete against him at Nationals too? He’s a very talented young skater.” 

As everyone gathered around him starts to discuss the different skaters and how they’re looking forward to supporting Jeongguk, he focuses on how lucky he is. To be surrounded by so many people so willing to fight alongside him, instead of leaving him to fight by himself. Honestly, it is his biggest strength. The people that love him and support him give him a strength that other skaters lack. 

And it’s all thanks to Taehyung. Ever since he came barrelling into his life that first day at the hot springs? Nothing has been the same since, and Jeongguk wouldn’t have it any other way. 

⛸⛸

In the weeks that follow he finds himself practicing at every turn and whatever is simmering between him and Taehyung continues to sit just beneath the surface. Threatening to spill over but never quite reaching that tipping point. He works to impress Taehyung, yes, but mostly he works to earn his respect. To see him swell with pride at how good he does. To watch the way that he smiles and claps whenever Jeongguk accomplishes something he’d previously told himself that he couldn’t. 

In Japan, Yoongi works tirelessly as well. Comes to accept what Hyuna drills into his head practice after practice. Learns to embody the beauty of the skate that is usually reserved for the women of their sport, learns to let his walls down little by little so that he can pour more of his emotion into his skate. 

It gets a little easier with each day that passes, with each picture or text that he gets from Seokjin. Each update on how everyone is doing in Korea. He feels connected to them even across the distance, even though he isn’t talking to them every single day. Feels like, for the first time in his life, somebody other than his grandfather matters to him. And that he matters to them. 

Taehyung watches Jeongguk grow, feels pride swell big in his chest because he’s been able to watch this journey from beginning to end. The doubt has slowly melted off of Jeongguk, leaving a more confident, more sure of himself skater. It does wonders for his routines … but it also does wonders for the man that Jeongguk is in his everyday life. Gives him confidence in his interactions, makes him less likely to get down on himself when he makes a mistake. 

“Jeonggukie, you haven’t named the music yet?” Taehyung is pulling the disc from the CD player and finds that the top is still blank. He’s been telling Jeongguk to give it a name for the last few weeks, just that last little step to connect to the piece. Really make it his own. 

Standing there with the permanent marker in hand, the CD case open before him, Jeongguk taps the end of the marker against his chin. Considering. Finally, it occurs to him. The name is simple, concise. Like the music. Like him. 

“Perfect,” Taehyung says when he finishes writing. Nodding his head in approval. 

The disc reads ‘Jeongguk on Ice.’ 

⛸⛸

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so, so much for reading. I really hope that you're enjoying it thus far. It has been a labor of love and I look forward to each chapter. I'm hoping now that I've gotten past the hump of writer's block for this chapter - that subsequent chapters will be easier to kick out. I don't want to give a guaranteed release date for the next chapter because my life can get kind of hectic buuuut I'm hoping for no later than two weeks. If we're lucky maybe just a week? Fingers crossed! 
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/TaekookPanda). My DMs are always open and I love to hear from readers/fans of my same fandoms! Additionally I post some stories there as well as some sneak-peek content from time to time. 
> 
> If Twitter isn't really your thing or you want to ask a question or leave a nice comment somewhere other than here - feel free to hit me up on [ Curious Cat ](https://curiouscat.me/TaekookPanda). I would love to hear from you there as well if you feel so inclined. 
> 
> Again, thanks a bunch for reading. I appreciate and love each and every one of you!


	5. Willful Defiance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a regional competition, Jeongguk tells himself. Little does he know how much he'll learn about himself in this one competition - which is his first of the professional season this year. The pressure is minimal and yet he feels like a powderkeg primed and ready to explode. 
> 
> Not only will Jeongguk learn more about himself this competition - but so too will Taehyung. Grappling with feelings for Jeongguk that he was not expecting to encounter, and dealing with the intricacies of learning how to coach for the first time make for a difficult field for Taehyung to navigate. 
> 
> A young skater very familiar with Jeongguk's work makes his appearance and offers an opportunity for growth and healthy competition. Will Jeongguk rise to the challenge or crumble under the pressure?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First let me start off by saying I'm _so_ sorry that this took so long to kick out. First I was working on another long story for Camp Nano and then work got crazy and then life took a turn that was unexpected. We're slowly settling back into a groove of normal around here so I'm _hoping_ to post more regularly again. 
> 
> I will say that I have missed these babies and the beautiful story they tell. I hope that this loooooong chapter was worth the wait. It's been awhile since I've written these characters so I feel a little rusty and uncertain about my interpretation of them. 
> 
> I will say this was a blast to write! Soobin is such a little cutie and Jeongguk is starting to develop some certainty in himself which is really nice to see. Watching Taehyung navigate through how to be a coach while also dealing with the blossoming feelings for Jeongguk has been delightful and interesting as well. 
> 
> I suspect we'll have a kiss in the next chapter or two (ahead of schedule compared to the anime for the avid watchers) but it just feels like it's building there more solidly now. 
> 
> Anywho, happy reading sweetlings! I hope that you enjoy!

Jeongguk is nervous - more nervous than he's been in a long time maybe. As an athlete, winning is always important - any athlete that tells you otherwise is lying. Nobody competes for a medal and 'doesn't care' about winning. But there's something different about the nerves this time. His entire future rides on this season of competition - his entire future  _ with Taehyung _ rides on this season of competition. Not that he's being presumptuous and assuming that he has a future with Taehyung beyond just as trainer and coach. Except ...

There have been little signs here and there over the last few weeks of training, haven't there? Sometimes he'll look up and catch Taehyung watching him when he least expects it, a soft expression on his face. Once in a while their hands brush across over the dinner table, their feet tangle together when they're sitting next to one another on the couch. There are little unspoken things that have been happening and maybe Jeongguk is imagining them. Maybe he's letting his imagination and his hopes and dreams run away with him. Is there anything wrong with that, though? Wishes and dreams never hurt anybody, right? 

And what if they're not just wishes and dreams? What if it's not his mind playing tricks on him and Taehyung really is giving him subtle little hints? 

Besides, even if that isn't the case - a future training alongside Taehyung has  _ always _ been his dream. Since even before his heart played such a big part in him wanting it. 

His first competition for the season is the Chu-Shikoku-Kyushu Regional Championship and he looks to be the oldest of the four skaters in the senior men's single division. The other skaters were all either barely eighteen, or a mere seventeen in the case of one of them, compared to his twenty-three. He was used to being an older competitor these days, though. Figure skating is a young person's sport traditionally and by the time people get into their almost mid-twenties like him they are often seen as 'too old' to continue competing. That didn't stop Taehyung, though, and Jeongguk wasn't going to let it stop him either. 

Everyone that was gathered was waiting to draw their place in the competition and when Jeonggukw as called up all he could think was that he absolutely certainly did  _ not _ want the first place slot. Somewhere in the middle would have been his preference. Not first to start off the division but not last and having to live up to everyone else that skated, either. 

Of course it's just his luck that when he sticks his hand into the bag to pull his number first - he pulls out a tile with a big, bold number one on it.

"Skater Jeon Jeongguk will be skating first for the men's singles division," the announcer says as she plucks the tile from him. 

He feels disappointment and immediate worry well up inside of him. He does not skate well in first position - the pressure tends to get to him easily and he fumbles and falters and screws it all up. In the last Nationals he'd drawn first and ... well, that hadn't turned out exactly stellar had it? 

"Oh my gosh I got to see you draw the first spot in person  _ again _ , Jeongguk-hyung," one of his fellow competitors says. 

Jeongguk turns to find a young boy with stars in his brown eyes, blonde hair falling messily around his ears and a section of red falling over his forehead. His cheeks are flushed with an excited blush and his whole face is lit up with a smile as he looks at Jeongguk in a way he's  _ sure _ he does not deserve. 

"I love you so much, you're such an amazing skater Jeongguk-hyung," the boy exclaims before Jeongguk can answer him. He practically vibrates on his chair like his excitement is just too much to contain. 

Jeongguk is trying to remember who the other skater is, drawing a blank on his name and feeling terrible about it all of a sudden. Apparently he has met him before but cannot for the life of him recall having done so? His forgetfulness is written clear as day all over his face because suddenly the younger skater looks hurt, mouth wide open with shock. 

"Whaaaa? You mean you don't remember me?!" For a moment Jeongguk feels like an absolute asshole. He remembers what it was like when he'd seen Taehyung and thought that the other skater had recognized him - only to find that the legendary skater thought he was just another fan. 

Is that what was happening here?

"Ugh, this is so disappointing for suuuuuure!" The teenager throws himself down into his chair and stomps his feet and Jeongguk gets the feeling that he's the sort of person that feels everything very  _ big. _

"Next to draw is Choi Soobin," the announcer calls and just as quickly as he'd become distraught - suddenly Soobin is all better. 

"That's me, I'm Choi Soobin!" He hopes off the chair and sticks a hand straight in the air before hurrying to draw his own placement number. 

Jeongguk is left watching him draw the fourth place spot, wracking his brain as he tries to place him. 

⛸⛸⛸

"Because Jeongguk doesn't historically skate well when he's first, are you worried at all that he's going to have any trouble at the competition, Taehyung?" 

Reporters surround them recording and taking pictures, microphones shoved in their faces. Jeongguk expected the question but it still stings - to have his failures so publicly out there is frustrating and embarrassing. He frowns but stays silent to let Taehyung answer the question as it was posed to him anyways. 

"I'm not worried," Taehyung answers in his easy way. "Jeongguk has been training hard and we are expecting that he will peak at the Grand Prix Final so these early competitions are really just warm-ups." There's an edge to his voice that Jeongguk picks up on and he wonders if the question irritated him too. 

"Jeonggukie can take today's competition easy, maybe score a personal best score today." Taehyung can see Jeongguk out of the corner of his eye, and can feel the way that he stiffens suddenly in surprise. 

A personal best score? Really, Taehyung? No pressure there, Jeongguk thinks. 

Taehyung knows that Jeongguk probably has a lot of doubt circling around in his head right now - especially after the question the reporter posed, his last competition not going so great, and the cloud of self-doubt that seemed hellbent on never leaving it's spot around him. But, if Taehyung has anything to do with it (and he does) he intends to keep pushing Jeongguk and reminding him how good he is. Because sometimes the other skater liked to listen to the voice of self doubt in his head, and Taehyung was looking to change that bit by bit. 

"I-I'm pretty sure I've told you this a million times Taehyung but I absolutely  _ bombed _ last year's Nationals. And now you want me to score some kind of personal best score? When I'm going first again?" 

Jeongguk can feel that self-doubt swirling around him, settling into the pit of his stomach like a heavy ball of doubt that weighs him down. He frowns at Taehyung, trying to figure out what exactly he was thinking, making claims about personal bests to the reporters. 

It's funny because he is determined to do better, to succeed, to make a future that he wants and deserves. But he's terrified in the process - a little voice in the back of his head is constantly screaming at him that he'll never actually succeed. He'll never be able to have the future with Taehyung that he wants, he'll never live down his failure of the previous Nationals. 

Jeongguk's words seem to fall on deaf ears though because Taehyung just gives him a determined look and then leads him away from the reporters. He knows there is a lot of worry and doubt and maybe he has a little something to do with that. Jeongguk worries that he'll not have any future of Taehyung in his life if he's not successful and while that's not  _ entirely _ true - Taehyung has done nothing to convince or persuade Jeongguk otherwise. 

"I haven't competed since last year," Jeongguk hears himself sullenly say in the locker room. He sits with his head in his hands and doubt in his heart and suddenly he doesn't feel any sense of determination or confidence at all. 

"Yeontan is cheering for you, just like I am!" Taehyung sounds so chipper, so upbeat. So confident that Jeongguk's heart already hurts with the idea of him letting him down. 

He's been practicing so hard every single day - some days he pushes himself so hard that it's all he can do to keep his eyes open at dinnertime. Sometimes he doesn't even make it to his bed before he's asleep he's so exhausted. And yet, that kernel of doubt has been planted - the reporter's words replaying over and over again in his mind. 

Will he be a failure again? Will he go out there to skate and crash and burn once more? Is he even supposed to be skating anymore? Maybe Yoongi was right and he's not worthy of having Taehyung as a coach after all. 

Taehyung watches Jeongguk sit there and doubt himself. Watches him trudge out to the rink to practice with worry and lack of confidence pressing down on his shoulders. He's told Jeongguk time and again that he wishes that he could see himself the way that others see him. The way that  _ he _ sees him. But it's to no avail. No matter how many times he says it, it falls on deaf ears because he's not loud enough to drown out the voice in Jeongguk's head. 

He wishes he could drown that voice and be done with it. 

When Jeongguk is out on the ice, some of that doubt starts to dissolve. Something about being on the ice has always brought him calm and clarity. The other skaters don't matter - this is about proving to himself, and to Taehyung, that he's strong enough for the Grand Prix Finals. It's about proving that he's not too old and he's not done for and he's not washed up. 

It's a chance for redemption. 

Choi Soobin is skating on the ice too, running through is routine for practice and warming up. His coach lingers outside of the rink, leaning on the guard wall and watching the teenager ... who seems more interested in watching Jeongguk. 

"Soobin,  _ focus! _ " Jeongguk turns just in time to see Soobin flush as he turns away from watching Jeongguk. He hears a snippet of the other coach's advice as he skates by the wall. 

"Remember how focused you were last Nationals, yah? You have to forget the distractions and focus only on what you can control." 

Jeongguk hears Soobin's agreement with his coach but it fades away as he settles on just one word.  _ Focus. _ That's what he needs to do. He needs to stop letting things distract him and focus on what he came here to do - which is win. 

And score a personal best, apparently. 

⛸⛸⛸

Hobi and Namjoon were waiting to see Jeongguk, badges around their necks that indicated they could be backstage. There were  _ tons _ of people and Hobi was uncomfortable being so crowded. Running a hand through his hair, he says as much to Namjoon. 

"There are so many people back here it feels like we're sardines all shoved into the same can." He's always hated being too crowded, and Namjoon can't help but chuckle a little at him. 

"Everyone wanted to come watch the public practice this morning. I don't think Jeongguk realizes how many people have come to see him - to see what Taehyung has been doing with him in his training." 

"I hope he doesn't realize," Hobi says as he glances around looking for the skater in question. "You know how nervous he gets before a big performance - if he realizes all these people are here to see  _ him _ he could end up sabotaging himself." 

Before Namjoon can respond, Jeongguk comes racing up with a frantic look on his face and a stressed expression in his eyes. 

"Have you guys seen Taehyung anywhere?! The competition is about to start and I have no idea idea where he went!" Both hands go into his hair, brushing through it in a gesture that is a tell-tale sign of his stress. 

Namjoon and Hobi exchange glances, with Namjoon opening his mouth to say something - except that just then Taehyung appears as if summoned by Jeongguk's questioning his whereabouts. 

A chorus of delighted squeals go up as people realize Taehyung is there, but he seems to only have eyes for Jeongguk. 

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Jeonggukie, I wanted to look like a real coach while you were out there skating." He'd been wearing a warm up suit during practice - but now he's wearing an  _ actual _ suit. 

He looks really, really good with his tie tucked beneath his jacket and his coaches badge hung around his neck. His silvery hair hangs over one blue eyes and there's a reassuring smile on his face and Jeongguk feels like he's just run a mile his heart beats so fast. 

"He's flashier than most of the skaters," Hobi says under his breath so that only Namjoon can hear him. Namjoon nods his agreement, watching the way that Jeongguk immediately gets lost in Taehyung's presence. 

"All these girls are screaming around them and they can't see anyone but each other. When are they going to realize?" Namjoon's voice is quiet but Hobi hears him and cannot help but smirk a little.

Namjoon is right, he knows, and while watching Taehyung and Jeongguk stumble around one another can be entertaining at times ... it is also painful at times. Sometimes he just wants to slam their heads together and make them both see some sense. Unfortunately this isn't one of those situations where he can do that. Seokjin likes to remind him that like their children - he has to let Jeongguk and Taehyung come to their own conclusions. It's not his business or his place to butt in. 

But boy he sure wishes it was sometimes. 

⛸⛸⛸

Standing in the arena just outside the guard wall, Jeongguk slips the guards off of his skates and hands them to Taehyung who is practically bouncing with excitement. It strikes Jeongguk that this is his first time skating competitively in over a year - but this is Taehyung's first time coaching before. Well, his first time as a coach in a competitive setting that isn't just a little competition at his home rink. This is the big time - the whole figure skating world is watching the both of them. 

The stands are full and he can see that the ice is clean and smooth and ready for the first skater - him. He feels the familiar flutter of nerves as he glances around at the sea of faces, but determination courses through him when he looks at Taehyung. 

"I've never done this before, Jeongguk," Taehyung says frankly. "Is there something specific I should say before I send you off for the program?" 

Taehyung tries to wrack his brain remembering what words he found most encouraging or inspiring before he went out onto the ice to skate a program. Si-hyuk wasn't exactly known for his inspirational speeches, though. Taehyung had learned pretty early on to rely on himself for those pep talks and whispered 'good lucks' instead of waiting for his coach to say them. 

He doesn't want that for the coach and skater relationship between him and Jeongguk though. 

Or the relationship between them at all. 

As the announcer talks overhead, filling the arena with information about the senior men's short program and which skaters they can expect, Jeongguk gives his full attention to Taehyung and considers the question. Seijin used to tell him good luck and that was enough back then. Maybe it would be enough now. Except that all he wants to hear is Taehyung telling him that he believes him in him and he knows that he can do it. 

He doesn't know how to say that to Taehyung though, and a sense of defeat deflates part of him as he steps onto the ice without a word to Taehyung at all. His head is full of thoughts - his need to reach the Grand Prix Final, his desire to have Taehyung be proud of him, his hope that he can finally live up to what he always wanted to be when he was younger. There is so much riding on his shoulders and he's not entirely sure how to carry it all. 

Some small part of him in the back of his head reminds him that he doesn't  _ have _ to carry it all. That there are those in his life that would help him shoulder the burden - but Jeongguk has never been one to share the heavy load. No, he's always been more likely to carry the weight of the world himself if it made life easier for those around him. 

Hoseok watches Jeongguk from up in the stands, a banner with the skater's name splashed across it held aloft in his hands. He and the other three skaters warm up on the ice and Hobi can tell just by looking down at Jeongguk that he's nervous. It makes him worry - will his nerves cost him another program? Hoseok has told him a million times before - the biggest thing sabotaging Jeongguk is Jeongguk. It's his penchant for carrying the weight of all his worries like they're the world and he is Atlas, forced to carry it all with no help. 

Taehyung watches Jeongguk warm up with a small scowl on his face. When the other skater had glided onto the ice without so much as a word to him he'd felt slighted - like he was trying to help but Jeongguk didn't want it. How was he supposed to be a good coach if his skater didn't seem to want the support he had to offer in moments like this? It's not until Jeongguk is standing at the edge of the ice next to him, after all the other skaters have slipped out of the rink and are waiting their turn to skate, that he realizes that the burden of asking for support isn't entirely on Jeongguk's shoulders. 

If the other skatter  _ can't _ ask for the help or support - maybe it's Taehyung's responsibility to give it to him anyways. 

"Jeongguk, turn around." 

Jeongguk has his water bottle raised to his mouth and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise at Taehyung's demand. He'd seen the way he was scowling, the way that he seemed upset about something but Jeongguk couldn't see what it was that he had to be upset about. He'd been working his butt off in training, and had been doing everything he could to improve so that he could make Taehyung proud. Make sure that he didn't make him look like a fool in his first endeavor as a coach. 

"Huh?" Despite his confusion he still turns around so that his back is to Taehyung. "Taehyung wh-" 

His question is cut short as Taehyung's arms come around his shoulders and chest from behind. There is a burst of flash photography as the reporters across the rink start to take pictures of Taehyung back-hugging Jeongguk while Jeongguk looks taken by surprise. 

"Seduce me with all you have, Jeongguk," Taehyung says close to his ear and Jeongguk is sure his heart leaps straight out of his chest and lands on the ice in front of him. 

"You'll have no problem enthralling the entire audience if you can seduce  _ me. _ They won't stand a chance." It's the same sort of thing that Taehyung always says in practice but there is something different about it now. 

Is he  _ trying _ to make Jeongguk's brain short-circuit right before he goes onto the ice? Is he  _ trying _ to make it so that he can manage to piece two words together let alone two moves in the routine? 

Taehyung can feel the way that Jeongguk trembles in his hold and barely resists the urge to bury his nose against the other man's neck to press a gentle, reassuring kiss there. But boy does he ever want to.

"I will," Jeongguk says and he hopes that he sounds confident because he certainly doesn't feel it. Not when Taehyung's long fingers are wrapped around his shoulders, not when Taehyung's hot breath fans across his neck. Not when his every thought is suddenly consumed by Taehyung. 

Taehyung releases Jeongguk and there is a cacophony of cheers as he skates to the middle of the ice and takes up his position for the routine. He's practiced over and over again - he knows this routine better than he's ever known any other routine. 

As he centers himself on the ice, one hip cocked and one knee propped at an angle, he closes his eyes and tries to center his thoughts as well. Tries to let the pressure of his nerves melt away. It's just him and the ice and everything else fades away. There is no Taehyung to live up to, no judges watching, no fans screaming in the audience. The weight of the world starts to lift off his shoulders in that moment, when he reminds himself for a brief second what it is about skating that he loves so much. 

What drew him to it in the first place. 

As the music starts and he opens his eyes, he throws himself into the performance. He nails Taehyung with a look he hopes is seductive - a look that he hopes may make Taehyung's heart skip a beat the way that his does everytime the silver-haired skater looks at him. Each spin on the ice, each twirl on his skates, each twist of his arms is part of the performance - part of his heart laid out on the ice around him. 

The audience isn't responding to his step sequence the way that he expected. They'd been  _ much _ more enthusiastic at the showdown against Min Yoongi and some part of him starts to doubt his performance because of their lack of response. Except that as soon as that starts to happen he flashes on a memory of Taehyung's face watching him in practice. Urging him to dance through the step sequence as if he were trying to personally seduce him. The audience melts away as he tells himself he's not doing this for  _ them. _ It's never been about them has it? 

It's always been about Taehyung. And now there he stands with his silver hair hanging over one blue eye, an encouraging look on his face. There he stands with his hands holding tight to the guard wall as he leans forward as if to get closer to the performance. He's skating for Taehyung tonight. 

Maybe he always has. 

His first jump is a success and there is confident encouragement on Taehyung's face when he sees it as he spins by. It builds confidence in him that makes him not doubt himself so much for the next jump - which is a quadruple salchow. Normally he would hesitate and doubt himself but he sees Taehyung's certainty in his mind and goes for it. 

It's executed with not nearly as much finesse as he'd like and he nearly falls - catching himself at the last moment before he does. Despite the stumble he glides smoothly into the next part of the routine right along with the music, trying not to lose the momentum of the small well of confidence he was building inside of himself. He recalls the way that Taehyung told him in the hot springs how he was drawn to him because of the way he seems to create music with his body when he skates. He draws on that as he moves through the steps and into the combination jump that is the last jump of the short performance. 

It's supposed to be a quad into a triple but his lack of rotation turns it into a double instead - he'll get docked fractions of a point likely but it's a successful jump nonetheless. 

The end of the performance arrives with a flair and he's left with his arms wrapped around himself, one knee popped and his chest heaving for air. 

It's easy for him to immediately focus on what he did wrong and what areas need improvements. He's over-rotated on the first quad, under rotated on the quad-triple combination. He'd let doubt seep in a little and it had undoubtedly affected his overall performance. 

But ... it wasn't a failure. He did not bomb and that was something. Did something for his confidence - give him a little swell of pride because he'd managed to do what his brain had told him repeatedly over the last year that he would never be able to do.

Off the ice there is the sound of excited yelling that echoes over the din of cheering and clapping. Someone is yelling about how amazing he did and how awesome it was and he glances around trying to place a face to the voice as he waves and bows in thanks. 

But all he sees is Taehyung, standing there clapping for him with less enthusiasm than he'd expected. No, not expected - hoped for. 

Once off the ice, wearing his jacket and the covers for his skates, he listens as Taehyung starts to list all of the things that he could have improved on. There are reporters all around and Jeongguk can see the surprise on their faces as Taehyung tells him basically all of the things that he did wrong. 

"The first half of your performance was great," Taehyung says as he pats Jeongguk's shoulder before scooping up the tissue box that is shaped like Yeontan, offering him a tissue to wipe the sweat from his face. 

"But, I think you were far too focused on the jumps in your second half and things started to get very sloppy. You need to learn to balance the importance of the jumps with the importance of maintaining your performance quality, Jeonggukie." 

The look on Taehyung's face is one of expectation and Jeongguk feels a little bit like his heart cannot handle anymore of Taehyung's helpful truths when all he really wants is his praise. To hear that he did a good job. Could there have been improvements? Yes, absolutely. But also sometimes all a person wants to hear is how good they did at something, you know? 

Instead of speaking up and telling Taehyung that though, he just stands there and nods his understanding. Because he knows he could have done better. And because maybe he needs Taehyung to push him in order for him to be better. 

Namjoon and Hobi are still sitting across the ice, watching as Taehyung scolds Jeongguk for how sloppy he got in the second half. As the seconds tick by and Jeongguk's face starts to fall more and more, Hobi feels himself getting more and more irritated. He scowls across the ice at the back of Taehyung's head, hoping that the silver-haired coach can feel the weight of his stare. 

"Why is he getting scolded? He really got the audience going. Taehyung should be telling him how good he did, his scolding is going to just tear into his self-confidence. Not that he has much of that anyways." He has half a mind to storm around the rink and give Taehyung a piece of  _ his _ mind right now. 

"He did," Namjoon answers, arms crossed over his chest as he stares across the ice at the two men and the reporters that surround them. "But he also got sloppy in the second half, Hobi. Don't pretend that you didn't see it. Taehyung can't  _ only _ tell Jeongguk how good he is, right? He'll never improve that way." 

"Well, he doesn't have to be so much like that hard-nosed Si-hyuk with Jeongguk either. Especially in front of all of those reporters." Hoseok seems unwilling to give Taehyung even a little leeway, hellbent on defending and protecting Jeongguk instead. 

"He's a new coach, Hoseok. He's learning his coaching style with Jeongguk as his first and only skater. Cut him a little slack." 

Silence stretches between them as they watch Taehyung and Jeongguk more toward the waiting booth where they sit and wait for Jeongguk's scores. 

Taehyung watches Jeongguk plop himself down on the bench and knot his fingers together anxiously. He can feel the way that Jeongguk seems down - upset even at the way that he'd scolded him right after he'd come off the ice. He has the thought that maybe he was too hard on the other skater, maybe he's too much like Si-hyuk, too tough for the gentle heart that his Jeongguk seems to have. It's uncharted territory for him though, figuring out how to be a coach. All he knows is how he was coached and his experiences were not exactly ... sunshine and rainbows. Si-hyuk was a hard coach to live with, always pushing and expecting more and more. It had worked to improve him exponentially, it's true. 

But just looking at how different Min Yoongi performed under Si-hyuk and how different he was when Taehyung had been training him - it was easy to see the vast difference. The way he responded and the quality of his skating performance were vastly different with each coach. 

Taehyung will have to find a balance between the hard-nosed coaching style he'd been trained with, and the gentle style he felt initially inclined to use with Jeongguk. Improvement would never come from only encouraging those things that were sloppy and unacceptable, but neither would he have a happy skater if all he did was tell him only the things that he did wrong. 

This coaching business is turning out to be more complicated than he initially expected. Especially when you throw into the mix the budding feelings that seem to be blossoming between them unexpectedly. 

Complicated indeed. 

"Judges, the scores for Jeon Jeongguk if you please," the announcer's voice echoes overhead. 

Jeongguk tenses, terrified that the scores won't be high enough. That he won't have skated a personal best and that Taehyung will be disappointed. He wrings his hands together and steals a glance at Taehyung before looking at the scoreboard. He sees the numbers a split second before the announcer's voice is saying them to the whole rink. 

"Short program score: 94.36. Jeon Jeongguk is currently in first place." 

Jeongguk feels shock and surprise ripple through him, and an underlying sense of pride as the score is announced. It's better than his previous best by almost  _ ten _ points. As the audience explodes in cheers and the reporters and other skaters around him start clapping, he feels his cheeks grow warm with a blush. 

Until...

"I thought for sure that you'd score in the hundreds since there was far less pressure today, Jeonggukie," Taehyung says next to him. 

His heart sinks as he turns to look at Taehyung with surprise. He beat his personal best by ten whole points and still Taehyung seems unimpressed. What exactly is he going to have to go to make the other man pleased and impressed? What will it take for him to tell him what a good job he's done? 

Will he ever? 

As self-doubt starts to creep in on Jeongguk again he lets out a sigh and scrubs both hands over his face. 

"We cannot all be you, Taehyung. Not everybody can score above a hundred points multiple times to break the world record over and over again." He cannot hide the disappointment and frustration in his voice. 

And Taehyung hears it, feels bad instantly. He presses his lips into a thin line and considers how best to handle the situation. Jeongguk is not him - accustomed to the hard-nosed training of a difficult coach for years on end. He is not Min Yoongi who needs strict structure and feels the urge to have outbursts often and generally over things that aren't that big of a deal. 

No, his heart is tender and sweet and he is more willing to lay down and take the punishment than he is to speak up about how he feels about it. Except that sometimes how he feels about it creeps into his voice like now. And often when that happens Taehyung feels bad because he's floundering to figure out how to tell Jeongguk that he's proud of him but also that he can do better. 

Sometimes the words don't come out the way that he wants them to. 

"Tomorrow for the free skate, Jeongguk, I think it would be best if we lower the difficulty of the jumps and focus only on the performance instead." 

"Huh?" The conversation turns so fast to tomorrow that Jeongguk frowns at Taehyung suddenly. 

"You've had trouble getting them right in practice and you struggled with them today during the performance. I think that you're trying to do too much as far as jumps go and the performance value of your skate is suffering as a result." 

"But, but I can do them!" 

"There's nothing wrong with lowering your difficulty early in the season, Jeongguk. It will allow you to practice behind the scenes without scoring lower than I know you deserve based off of your performance abilities. That way you can reach your peak for the Grand Prix Final instead of burning out early." 

There's something in Taehyung's eyes, in his voice, that gives Jeongguk pause. Where he might have argued moments ago, he can see what he's saying. THere is encouragement there in his blue gaze, and ... confidence? In Jeongguk and his skating abilities, maybe? 

Maybe he has difficulty saying what he wants to say properly to Jeongguk - but he hopes that the other skater can see and hear the way that he believes in him. The way that he believes he can nail a program without having to have jumps that have proven to be exceedingly difficult for him. Sometimes building up to the jumps slowly is better than throwing them all into the program at the start of the season and fumbling too soon. 

"Okay..." Jeongguk reluctantly agrees. He feels a little frustrated because he's been working hard to try and nail the jumps and it feels a little like Taehyung is taking them away because he doesn't think he can do them. 

But there's also the underlying sense that he has some understanding of what he's doing and why it would be best for him. He chooses to trust Taehyung, because he knows he has his best interests at heart. 

"OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!!!" Choi Soobin is teary-eyed and beaming with pride and excitement as he twirls around in front of his coach. 

"Did you see Jeongguk-hyung pull off that triple axel?! How amazing was that?! I hope that he'll see the way that I can skate and see how good I am because of him!" 

"You're going to nail your triple axel too today right, Soobin?" His coach is a young woman with light brown hair and a skirt over leggings, a puffy black jacket keeping her upper body and arms warm. 

"Yes! Today is the day, I can  _ feel _ it and I can't wait for Jeongguk-hyung to see me nail it too!" 

There is an underlying tone of hero worship in Soobin's voice as he unzips his jacket and starts to get ready for his own performance. One of the other skaters is on the ice now, but it won't be long until it's time for his warm up and performance. He casts a glance around looking for Jeongguk, eyes going sparkly and excited when he spots him talking to a reporter, standing next to Taehyung. 

"Are you feeling confident about the free skate tomorrow, Jeongguk?" The reporter holds out a microphone for him to answer and he can feel Taehyung's eyes on him. He catches sight of Choi Soobin out of the corner of his eye heading onto the ice but gives his whole attention back to the reporter as Taehyung answers for him. 

"Of course he's feeling confident, he's going to skate perfectly tomorrow you'll see. I believe in him." 

Jeongguk's eyes widen slightly as he looks at Taehyung and he feels a little bit like he's on something of a roller coaster - one minute he's upset that Taehyung doesn't seem to be very proud of him and the next his heart swells with pride and happiness because Taehyung says that he believes in him. 

Just as Jeongguk gets ready to respond to the reporter finally, Choi Soobin's voice sounds behind them and he turns to look at the younger boy who appears emotional. 

"Oh! Jeongguk-hyung, did you see my "Lohengrin" performance? I think it was my best performance yet  _ and  _ I landed my Achilles' heel - the triple axel? What did you think?"

"I-I'm so sorry I didn't see it I was being interviewed." 

Soobin feels tears well up in his eyes suddenly, his mouth forming a pout. Nooooo," he laments as he starts to unzip his jacket to show Jeongguk his outfit. "I had a similar costume made so that it would be like yours from when you did your famous "Lohengrin" program too." 

Tears have started to spill down his cheeks as he watches Jeongguk look shocked, cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. 

"That costume is a secret from my dark past, you shouldn't be trying to emulate it!" 

"Wha?! You don't have a dark past, Jeongguk-hyung! I've looked up to you for so long and all I want to do is catch up to you - don't make fun of me for wanting that!" 

Jeongguk feels bad suddenly because he knows what it's like to look up to someone and want to be like them so badly. He  _ never _ expected anyone to look up to him or want to be like him - he is no Taehyung, his climb up the performance ladder has not been as illustrious or as medaled as his own idol. 

Why would anyone want to be like him? 

"I'm gonna give tomorrow's free skate all that I've got!" Soobin declares this suddenly and loudly, pointing at Jeongguk with determination even as tears gather in the corners of his eyes still. "Give it all you've got too, Jeongguk-hyung! Please." I won't forgive you if you slack off and just  _ let _ me win!" 

"Oooooooh, Skater Choi Soobin has issued a challenge to Skater Jeon Jeongguk!" The reporter says behind Jeongguk. "How thrilling! At  _ last year's _ National's, skater Soobin finished ahead of skater Jeongguk." 

Jeongguk lets out an audible gasp at this piece of information from the reporter. Is that why the other skater felt mildly familiar earlier? They'd skated against one another and Jeongguk doesn't even remember - of course, last year's National's had been something he was trying very hard to forget. 

Any confidence he might have felt with Taehyung's belief in him seems to fly out the window at this new bit of information. Choi Soobin has issued him a challenge and he's not sure that he can beat him. Though the other skater is far less intimidating than Min Yoongi - there is something about the confidence and certainty of those skaters that are much younger than him. They do not seem to have the same levels of self-doubt that he does (and he hopes that they never do) and that makes them scarier to him. They are more determined to prove themselves, maybe, more determined to show that they can beat the older and more seasoned skaters like himself. 

_ Crap. _

⛸⛸⛸

Jeongguk finds that his nerves have not at all disappeared since the night before when the new day dawns. In fact, as he laces his skates in the locker room he can feel the weight of the gazes of reporters on him and Taehyung as he gets ready. They are interviewing Soobin and the other skaters but Taehyung has turned them all away from him as he finishes getting ready. His hands shake a little and he listens to them talk to the cameras as they tell their audience how today is the free skate. 

He hears his name more than once from more than one reporter and each time he does he feels his heart beat faster and his anxiety climbs higher. They're talking about how he scored a personal best yesterday. How he is expected to attempt three quads today. How Choi Soobin issued a personal challenge to him for today's performance. 

They don't know that he and Taehyung decided to lower the difficulty, that there will only be one attempted quad today. They don't know that he's feeling really insecure and unsure about that because he thinks it might be a mistake to lower the difficulty. Especially going up against someone young and ambitious like Choi Soobin. He thinks about Min Yoongi and how confident he is with his jumps and his leaps, how he never falters and never balks at doing a new one. 

And then he thinks about himself. How he always stumbles and falls and struggles to even get up the nerve to try another jump. Especially when he is so used to just falling over and over again. Sometimes the more you fall the harder it is to get back up again, after all. 

"I'm gonna try and do a quad too!" Soobin's voice rings through the locker room and Jeongguk sees him talking to a couple of other young skaters who are questioning his choice. 

"Really? That's crazy because you've never even landed one in practice." 

"Yeah, don't you think it's foolish to try something you haven't even succeeded at in practice. Especially considering the stakes for today's competition? Don't you want to beat Jeongguk?"

Jeongguk's nerves followed him all the way onto the ice during warm-ups where he reminded himself he needed to focus on him. Not the way that Soobin was watching him, or seemed to be  _ excited _ at the prospect of a small competition between the two of them. Not on the other skaters who were not murmuring about trying quads of their own as he skated by them. Not on Taehyung who was off the ice and watching him with a critical eye. 

He had to skate perfectly today, couldn't let his nerves get the best of him. He  _ would _ show Taehyung that he was worth him staying, worth him continuing to coach him. He had to show him that he could do it and they didn't have to lower the difficulty every single time. He needed to show himself that he could balance the jumps and the performance. 

Taehyung does watch Jeongguk from off the ice, chin in his hand and frown on his face. He'd seen the way that Jeongguk had ignored Soobin as he stepped onto the ice, refusing to acknowledge the younger skater despite the obvious signs of excitement and friendly rivalry on the younger man's face.

"How can you expective to motivate yourself if you can't even motivate others?" Those are the first words he says to Jeongguk as he steps off the ice after warm ups. 

He's frustrated and he frowns at Jeongguk as he leans against the guard wall looking at him, trying to figure out what is going on inside of his head. 

"I'm disappointed in you." 

Four little words never felt so much like bullets straight to his heart as those four words do. Jeongguk stands there watching as Taehyung strides away with finality and feels like his heart is shattering in his chest. 

What did he do to disappoint him? Why would he say that minutes before he's supposed to go onto the ice to skate the free skate? What about the motivation that  _ he _ was supposed to have that Taehyung just destroyed?

The announcer overhead calls out Choi Soobin's name and he stands on the ice looking nervous and unsure for a moment. His coach tries to get his attention but his eyes are drawn instead to Jeongguk just off the ice and peering at him. 

He still stands exactly where Taehyung left him, people in front of him lapping for Soobin and cheering him on as his coach tries to give him a pep talk. Something seems to click for Jeongguk suddenly, his eyes narrowing as he remembers the day before when he'd been scolded by the younger skater who seemed to look up to him. 

He remembers what it was like when he was younger and he was trying to be so much like Taehyung. Remembers memorizing his every costume and all of his moves, his walls plastered in posters of the silver-haired skater who was now his coach. Remembers too what it felt like when just last year Taehyung had treated him as if he were just another fan wanting an autograph and commemorative photo. 

Maybe that's what Taehyung meant about motivating others. Maybe the way that he was ignoring Soobin and the way that he was treating him like he was just a distraction or an  _ obstacle _ instead of another skater with feelings wasn't the right way to go about doing things. How could they expect the next generation of skaters to feel drive and motivation to be excellent if they just shooed them away like annoying gnats instead of encouraging them every step of the way?

"Good luck, Soobin!" Jeongguk makes sure that his voice rings out loud and clear as he cups his hands around his mouth and yells loudly across the ice at the younger skater. 

He can support and root for Soobin and still want to beat him. Could offer him motivation  _ and _ competition. 

Soobin feels himself getting overly emotional at Jeongguk's yell across the eyes, having to blink his eyes rapid-fire to try and stave off the tears that well up almost instantly. All he has ever wanted his whole life is to be just like Jeongguk. Some of the other skaters sneered at him and told him that was stupid - there wer ebetter skaters with higher scores and more inspiring performances. But for him it had always been Jeongguk. That was what he aspired to be - the way that Jeongguk had been in his early days. The way he was becoming again under the tutelage of Taehyung. 

He feels like his heart is full to bursting as he gets in position in the center of the ice, more determined than ever to show Jeongguk how good he is and how much he's inspired him to keep getting better every day. 

Across the area Taehyung sits with his arms and legs both crossed, a smile curving his lips as he hears Jeongguk's yell of good luck. That, he thinks, is exactly the sort of thing that one skater should  _ always _ be willing to do for another.  _ That _ is exactly the sort of thing that he wants  _ his _ skater to be doing - for Soobin's benefit, yes, but also for Jeongguk's benefit. Helping others, after all, is never a hindrance to oneself. 

Soobin's performance is upbeat and fun - a lot like the kid in the skates. He gets the crowd fired up and going, all of them clapping in time with the music. The steps are intricate and he moves like a feather on top of the ice, light and free. The first and second jumps are successful and Jeongguk feels himself tensing up for him as he approaches the third jump. 

Watching from the sidelines he sees the way that he misses and falls, skidding across the ice before getting back up and right back into his routine. Like a seasoned professional. The inconsistencies in his performance remind Jeongguk of what he used to be like as a younger skater - full of confidence and bravado and sure that nothing was too far out of his reach. Successful in some areas of his skate and unsuccessful in others - never finding a true balance in his own performances. 

Still, he's unable to take his eyes from Soobin. There is something charismatic and magnetic about him as he skates, commanding all attention. He has everything that he needs to compete in figure skating and Jeongguk feels a swell of pride. Not because Soobin looks up to him - but because it's clear that he's worked hard to get where he's at and he should be proud of all he's accomplished. And all he will continue to accomplish for years to come. It would be no surprise to see him continuing to climb in success and notoriety. 

Walking away, Jeongguk considers what kind of score he'll get as he disappears from sight and down into the locker room. He can hear the crowd exploding in cheers everytime Soobin executes a fantastic step sequence or lands a jump. He smiles in the direction of the arena before slipping his earbuds in so that all external sounds disappear. 

He needs to let all outer distractions disappear now as he gets ready for his turn on the ice. Stretching in the quiet of the locker room, he lets the classical music in his ears carry him away from the noise of the arena. After a few minutes of stretching and some yoga to calm his nerves, he slips outside where he can get some fresh air and let the sun shine down on him warming his face. 

He tries not to focus on what is going on inside the arena, tries not to think about the scores the younger skaters are getting. Instead he focuses on his upcoming routine, on doing his absolute best the way that Soobin challenged him to do. 

It's not long before he makes it back inside, earbuds still in. He's already got his costume on ready for his turn on the ice and he strides past all of coaches and skaters and teammates that are standing outside the rink watching the current contestant on the ice. He passes Soobin, stopping only to give him a determined nod and a slap to the back of his shoulder. The younger skater looks surprised and Jeongguk smiles as he turns his back on him, striding toward Taehyung. 

Taehyung who is waiting with a smile on his face like he's pleased with how he's acting finally. 

Taehyung who takes his jacket when he slips it off to reveal the sparkly costume beneath. 

Taehyung who takes his breath away with how beautiful he is standing there in front of the ice in his long coat and tie, silver hair falling over one eye. 

"You look beautiful in this costume, Jeongguk." Taehyung tucks Jeongguk's jacket over one arm and takes in his appearance. Sees the focus on his face, the determination in his eyes. 

"Thank you," Jeongguk sounds a lot more steady than he feels when Taehyung calls him beautiful. 

"Your lips are chapped, here let me..." Before he can stop him, Taehyung pulls a tube of chapstick from inside his coat pocket and opens it. 

Soobin is standing off to one side and cannot believe what he is seeing. He feels like he just might combust from the inside out as he watches Taehyung open the chapstick and slide it across Jeongguk's lips with an affectionate smile. 

His whole face turns red and his mouth falls open and  _ surely _ he must look absolutely comical with his eyes so wide when he sees Taehyung  _ then _ take his thumb and swipe it just along the bottom edge of Jeongguk's lower lip. 

"There, perfect." Taehyung hopes that he looks a hell of a lot calmer than he feels because right now his insides feel a lot like Soobin's outsides look. 

He reaches to pull Jeongguk into a hug - partially for good luck, and partially because he just needs to. No,  _ wants _ to. Jeongguk hugs him back, one arm around the back of his neck and the other around his waist. 

And for a minute the rest of the arena falls away. Maybe the rest of the world. There is no Soobin with bright red cheeks and a wide-open mouth. There is no other skater on the ice, no audience members in the stands.

There is only Taehyung and Jeongguk with their arms wrapped around one another and their hearts beating in tandem. In that moment there's so much that Jeongguk wants to say, but Taehyung beats him to the punch. 

"I'm proud of you, Jeongguk. You can do this, I believe in you." 

Jeongguk blinks rapidly to will his tears away because those are exactly the words that he needed to hear. That he  _ wanted _ to hear. And from exactly the right person. 

"I've got this," he promises Taehyung. 

And then he steps onto the ice and glides around the outer edge as he waits for the crowd to quiet down after the last skater. 

Up in the stands Hobi stands next to Namjoon again, a banner held in his hands that has Jeongguk's name on it in bold, bright letters. Namjoon has his arms crossed over his chest as the two of them watch Jeongguk and Taehyung. 

"Supposedly he's only doing one quad at the beginning this time," Hoseok says quietly to the man beside him. 

"We'll see how that goes," Namjoon responds back just as quietly. "You know that Jeongguk hates making compromises and changes." 

"I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to try and do them all just to prove that he can." Part of Hobi wants to see that happen - wants to see Jeongguk's spirit as he skates. 

"Yeah but why have Taehyung as his coach if he's not going to listen to him? He does have some idea what he's talking about, Hobi." Namjoon proves ever practical, the foil to Hobi's impulsive impracticability. 

"This program highlights Jeongguk's career as a skater thus far with original music composed for the skater. It is entitled Jeongguk on Ice, and it was choreographed by Kim Taehyung." The announcer's voice rings out over the arena as Jeongguk takes his spot in the center of the ice. 

_ You can do this, Jeongguk. Just stay focused, don't get too caught in your own head and feel the music. This is your piece and nobody else can skate it like you. _

Jeongguk gives himself a pep talk as he waits for the music to start. Reminding himself that he wants to win for Taehyung yes, but he also wants to win for  _ himself _ . So much of his journey has become about Taehyung that he's lost sight of how much it means to him to show what he can do. Not just show Taehyung or show the other skaters or show the judges. No, he wants to show  _ himself _ . Because somewhere along the way he lost sight of what it was he wanted to accomplish, and lost sight of the joy that skating gave him. 

Tonight he wanted to show himself he could have it back. 

Taehyung lets everything else fall away as he hears the music start and Jeongguk's skates glide across the ice. The beginning of the program is about the Jeongguk from before - when he felt like he was alone in his fight, when he felt like he had nobody to back him up and support him. He was wrong then of course - his head was telling him there was no support even though he had a wall of supporters at his back. 

His first jump is a quad-triple combination and he shouldn't struggle with it at all - he's been landing it perfectly in practice. And he's pushed himself over and over again to get it right. Taehyung remembers night after night watching him work himself into a dripping sweat trying to perfect all the jumps. Every routine a skater did was special for a different reason but this routine ... this was Jeongguk's journey. It was special to him in a way that nobody else could understand. 

Taehyung hopes that it will be freeing for him. That he will find comfort in knowing that he's come so far and worked so hard to overcome every obstacle that was thrown at him along the way. 

Instead of a triple though, Jeongguk soars beautifully through a double. 

Why did he change it? When? Does that mean that he'll be doing the triple in the second half when they're worth more points and harder because of the amount of stamina they require? Or does it mean he's going back to having three quads?

Taehyung is brimming with confusion and curiosity. One part of him wants to be irritated that Jeongguk is changing the jump elements to the routine seemingly on the fly - but the other part of him swells with pride. Because he told Jeongguk that he wanted him to become master of his own routines, right? This is one giant step in the direction of the self-confidence and self-assurance that Jeongguk needs. That he  _ deserves. _

For a minute he worries because Jeongguk's skating starts to look very stiff. He's in the portion of the skate that expresses what it was like when Taehyung first showed up as his coach and the way that he skates it makes it look like he was a... uncomfortable. Did he not like him showing up? 

As Jeongguk leads into the next jump Taehyung feels himself tense. It looks like a triple Salchow at the beginning but no! A quadruple that he nearly lands except that he steps out of the ending too soon. 

This means he  _ did _ revert the program to having three quads despite what they'd talked about. Taehyung worries this means he'll lose the quality of his performance for the quantity of the jumps which is why he'd first said to go down to just one quad for the routine today. His Jeongguk is determined and stubborn though, it seems. 

A perfect triple loop leads Jeongguk to gliding into the last section of his skate. Where he looks freer than he ever has. Here is where he's realized something like love - where he's realized that he is not alone in his journey and that he does not have to shoulder the burden entirely himself. 

He looks tired already going into the beginning of the second half of the program and still - still he skates like he's the most beautiful person on the ice. Taehyung cannot take his eyes off of him, because he  _ is _ the most beautiful person. On and off the ice. 

The audience is so enthralled with his performance that even though not all of his jumps are turning out perfect - they clap and encourage him. They lean against the barricades on their elbows and watch him like he's the best thing they've ever seen on the ice. He has them eating out of the palm of his beautiful, elegant, delicate hand. 

He skates with such passion and heart, making music with every glide of his skates across the ice and every leap into the air, that it's impossible to look away. Impossible to not watch the progression of the performance - the progression of the life that he's made for himself as a skater. He's full of impatience today, his performance pushing forward in time with the music in an eager sort of way that speaks to his want for the gold. 

Fancy, detailed footward lead into a jump that was  _ supposed _ to be a triple for the points but Jeongguk has instead turned into a quadruple. One that he stumbles out of, causing him to hit the wall with his nose. There's a spray of blood but he keeps skating. Taehyung feels every muscle in his body tense up, his heart beating a mile a minute with worry for Jeongguk. 

Why does he insist on being so rebellious toward his coach? Who exactly does he get that sort of nerve from? 

Taehyung thinks about how he'd rebelled against Si-hyuk repeatedly, how Jeongguk had modeled himself after Taehyung for so many years. 

Perhaps he was reaping what he sowed. 

When the skate ends, the crowd erupts in cheers so loud that Taehyung's teeth feel like they're rattling. He can see that Jeongguk's nose is bleeding from where he hit the wall and he gathers up the tissue box that looks like Yeontan for when the skater steps off the ice. 

If he were Si-hyuk he would immediately lecture Jeongguk for going against what he'd advised and doing as he pleased. But hadn't he tried that already? It hadn't necessarily been the most effective. And he's  _ not _ Si-hyuk. He is Taehyung and he glances around to see everyone - fellow skaters like Soobin, Hobi and Namjoon in the audience, even the reports, cheering for what Jeongguk just did. 

Even with his imperfections he still managed to inspire and motivate the crowd. Isn't that what Taehyung asked him to do? 

So when Jeongguk turns to him, instead of looking fierce and like he's going to deliver admonitions - he extends his arms for a hug. 

Jeongguk is emotional when he sees Taehyung offering a hug, skating toward him at record speeds to hug him tight before Taehyung pulls free and passes him some tissues for his bloody nose. 

It's not long later that they're settled in the viewing booth - Jeongguk holding tissues to his nose and keeping his head tilted to stave off the bleeding - as his scores are announced. 

"For Jeon Jeongguk's free skate program, the score is: 165.20. That makes his total score 259.56." 

As the crowd erupts in cheers again, Taehyung wraps Jeongguk up in another hug and rubs their cheeks together affectionately. 

"See I told you that you could get lots of performance points! Now imagine if you'd listened to me and hadn't performed those jumps that knocked your score down!" 

Jeongguk opens his mouth to argue about the jumps when Soobin calls his name from behind them. 

"Jeongguk-hyung, you totally beat me! I can't  _ wait _ to face you in the Grand Prix series someday! I'm gonna beat you, you'll see! Please keep skating and doing your best until then! Also...." The younger skater pulls out a pad and a pen and offers them to Jeongguk with a sheepish smile. 

"May I have your autograph?" Nearly as soon as the words tumble out of his mouth - the other two skaters that were his competitors are there asking for his autograph as well and Jeongguk is left feeling stunned as he scribbles them out for them. 

⛸⛸⛸

In the locker room Hobi and Namjoon are waiting for him. And while Hobi seems impressed by how well he did - Namjoon is glaring at him like a stern father, arms crossed over his chest. 

"What if you'd  _ really _ gotten hurt when you slammed into that wall you dummy?" 

"I know, I know," Jeongguk says as he finally removes the tissues from his nose and tosses them. "Honestly at first I was just really desperate. I didn't want to lose to the younger skaters, but I also wanted to prove that I  _ could _ do it, you know? And then somewhere along the line I started having  _ fun _ as I was skating again and I just ... I forgot what that felt like, you know? I don't want to forget that ever again." 

Hobi and Namjoon stand there looking at Jeongguk for a long moment until finally Namjoon pulls him into a big hug and pats his back. "I'm glad you were having fun, buddy. Just ... next time have fun more carefully, yeah?" 

"Yeah, we can't have you getting hurt and having to sit out the rest of the season. That would suck more than just a little." Hobi pats a hand against the back of Jeongguk's neck, grinning at the skater. "You did good, kid. I'm proud of you." 

Jeongguk feels that swell of pride again. They are his family - perhaps not by blood, but they are his family. There through thick and thin to support him. When things went horribly wrong and when things were fine and now when things are looking up. They stand beside him and he is grateful for them. 

Before he can get too consumed by his emotions - and he totally would have - Taehyung appears to pull him away for the medaling ceremony. 

Standing at the top of the podium feels  _ amazing. _ Know that he did it because he worked hard and he kept going even when it was extra tough is the icing on the cake. Taehyung stands off to the side clapping for him and Jeongguk can see how proud he is in his eyes and the way that he holds himself. As if with each clap he's saying 'that's my Jeongguk.' 

And maybe he is. 

Jeongguk can hope, right?

⛸⛸⛸

Later at a press conference the skaters are supposed to show what their themes for the season are and it's Jeongguk's turn next. He stands there holding his board facing him, a suit and tie on as the cameras flash around him and the other skaters stand off to his left. To his immediate right is the podium and the interviewer. 

"Well then Jeon Jeongguk - what will be your theme for the season? Go on and show us." 

Jeongguk hesitates only for a moment before turning the board around and setting it on the podium for all to see. 

It reads: Love. 

"My theme for the Grand Prix finals this year is love," he says in the microphone to the crowd of reporters. "Through my whole skating career, I have been helped by a lot of different people. People who have helped me when they didn't have to, when they could have stopped helping because I was disappointing them. People I am  _ lucky _ to have in my life. I didn't really think about love before this, though. I didn't see that what they were doing they did out of love. I used to think I was actually fighting this alone but ... ever since Taehyung showed up." 

There is a collective sound amongst the reporters, like they are all holding their breaths at the same time as he continues. 

"Ever since Taehyung showed up, I see things completely differently. Taehyung has shown me that people around me love me and that is why they stay to help. He's helped me remember what I love about skating, and he's helped me open up in a way that I wasn't able to before. He has, in essence, helped me to begin again when I thought I was done for." 

Jeongguk can hear the reporter beside him suck in a sharp breath of surprise at his words but he keeps going. 

"Taehyung is the first person I've ever really wanted to hold onto. That I've never wanted to lose no matter what. The first person I've ever really loved." 

Yeah, Jeongguk, right there on national television is the  _ perfect _ place to announce that you love Taehyung. Not quietly with Taehyung first. Nope. Right there in front of a room full of reporters and other skaters and the whole world watching on television. 

"Taehyung drives me to be a better person and a better skater and because of him I want to prove to himself that I can do it. That I can win a gold medal at the Grand Prix Final. For Taehyung, but mostly for  _ me." _

⛸⛸⛸

While Jeongguk makes his declaration of love on national television - Yugyeom skates unawares at his arena in America where Seijin keeps a watchful eye as his coach. He executes a jump perfectly and turns with excitement to Seijin who was supposed to be recording. 

"Did you catch that perfect jump, Seijin? I can't wait to post it online!"

"Oh, sorry Yugyeom, I forgot to hit the record button. Go again." 

Seijin's thoughts are elsewhere - on the upcoming competition at the Cup of China for starters. On Taehyung and Jeongguk and the way that his former skater is improving at a rapid pace under the tutelage of Kim Taehyung. But it won't be Jeongguk that wins the Cup of Chin - Seijin is certain of it. It will be Yugyeom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would LOVE to hear your input so please leave me a comment or some kudos letting me know that you enjoyed! 
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/TaekookPanda). My DMs are always open and I love to hear from readers/fans of my same fandoms! Additionally I post some stories there as well as some sneak-peek content from time to time. 
> 
> If Twitter isn't really your thing or you want to ask a question or leave a nice comment somewhere other than here - feel free to hit me up on [ Curious Cat ](https://curiouscat.me/TaekookPanda). I would love to hear from you there as well if you feel so inclined. 
> 
> Again, thanks a bunch for reading. I appreciate and love each and every one of you!

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, there you have it. Chapter 1 has come to an end. Let me know you thoughts, I'm dying to know what you think about my representation and adaptation. 
> 
> You can find me on [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/TaekookPanda) and I'd love if you come gave me a follow there - I occasionally post stories there too. 
> 
> Chapter 2 will be up next week, so keep an eye out for that as well!


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